Your boyfriend goes silent after you break up with him for a reason and there are a lot of ways to cope with it. One of them is to know whether or not your boyfriend can handle the break-up well. In other words, you need closure.
Sometimes closure looks different than what you imagine it to be. Sometimes you do not get the response you are anticipating. Sometimes it is not wrapped in a shiny package with two people amicably saying, “This is for the greater good.” And most times, you just have to figure it out in your own ways.
Of course, you would like your boyfriend to care enough to tell you how he feels about the break-up no matter how much it hurts, but that is almost never the case. Men handle breakups in their own ways and the result of their own healing is almost always keeping us out.
Fortunately, in this article, we will learn what it means when you broke up with your boyfriend and he did not say anything about it. So, keep on scrolling this page.
Unlike women, men do not spend their time over-analyzing every second they spent with their ex, wondering where it all went wrong, trying to understand the exact moment they sensed the demise.
In fact, your boyfriend will not put much effort into thinking about the break-up at all. In his mind, it is more like general events such as how the break-up happened and what the main reason as to why you broke up with him and why the relationship fell apart.
His lack of overthinking leads to silence because he does not need any questions answered. He does not want to know much more than what he already does. If he were to reach out to you again, it could only potentially hurt him more, so he remains silent and safe in his uncomplicated mindset.
If your boyfriend does not say anything right after you break up with him, he may have truly loved you and thought that perhaps you had a long future together. If this is the case, then it is safe to say that he is extremely distraught.
And for the meantime, your boyfriend probably has the need to distance himself from the person who represents hurt, disappointment, and anguish. Right now, that person is you. However, do not take this personally because it is not actually about you.
Perhaps in the future, the two of you can be friendly to each other, depending on the reasons for the break-up and how it all went down. For now, do not expect your former beau to be responsive about something you instigated. That is honestly asking way too much.
In your boyfriend’s mind, if he replies, he is only going to be sitting there waiting for you to make a statement, and such action takes charge of his feelings. If you have hurt him with the break-up then are you worth his response? Are you worth any more anxiety? He probably thinks you are not worth it.
Your boyfriend may assume, by not replying, you are only going to go through the same emotions that have been eating away at him. Giving silent treatment will make you a taste of your own medicine and it is a treat for him given the heartbreaking situation. The silence could be revenge and just like what people said, revenge is best served cold, hence the cold shoulder.
Maybe your boyfriend heard you but is simply too busy in his mind to respond. Maybe he is just quietly mulling it over and still has not decided what action he should take next. Maybe he is so apologetic that he does not know what to say. Maybe he is just having fun leaving you guessing.
Your boyfriend’s silence is like a shell game. Whatever you do, even if you have successfully revealed what you think his silence means, they may just change his explanation.
Basically, whatever you guess, he can claim he was thinking of a different number. What is worse still, no matter how illogical or crazy his silence drives you, he is just unassailable because silence pleads innocence whether it is innocent or not.
It feels absolutely wrong to you and that is exactly what your boyfriend wants you to feel. There is probably no sort of communication more misquoted than silence because it is very hard to know what it actually says.
So, that is my take on the meaning of the silence of your boyfriend during the break-up. Hopefully, this article will give you more insight.
Does it feel like pulling teeth getting him to say how he feels about you?
Some men can be very gaurded and closed when it comes to expressing how they feel - it can almost feel like they are pulling away from you. Many women make the mistake of pushing their man to say how they feel, but this is actually one of the worst things you can do as it can push him away further.
To get him to really show you how he feels and communicate how much he appreciates you, there's one simple thing, although often overlooked, thing you can say to him today that taps into how men are wired and can often lead to them suddenly pouring their heart out. My friend recorded a quick free video (click to watch) that shows exactly how to do that.