How to Tell Your Boyfriend You Want to be Friends with Benefit After Breakup

Last updated on June 9, 2022 by Michelle Devani

For some people, the burden of being in a relationship is too heavy that they prefer casual relationship like hooking up, no string attached, or friends with benefits. All three of them has common risk: when either of you start to develop feeling for each other.

Okay, we are going to talk about any of the casual relationship above. Doing that kind of relationship is better with someone we don’t really know so we can keep our privacy easier. But what it suddenly you want to be friends with benefits with your boyfriend?

Uh oh. What happen?

After being in a relationship for some time, you find that you somehow don’t match with him. Your ideas, behavior, and lifestyle crash that it only make the relationship worse. But on the other side, he’s so good on bed you can’t let him go just like that. Also read Signs A Guy Just Wants to be Friends with Benefits

If you are wondering how to tell your boyfriend you just want to be friends with benefit, you come to the right place. We’re going to give you some tips along with possible risks you may face when your relationship status has changed.

  1. Make Sure About Your Feeling to Him

There must be something going on so that you want to be friends with benefit with him. Before telling him, it’s better for you to reflect on yourself and make sure why you want it. Has your feeling change? Are you deeply hurt?

People has their own reasons. But you have to be sure that this is not impulsive, just because you’re tired with him or even worse, you’re bored. There are times when you feel bored in your relationship. Before you regret your choice, think about it again.

  1. Pick the Right Time

Timing is everything. You can’t simply tell him out of the blue. Wait for the right moment. The best time to tell him is after fight. Not during the fight, but after that. Tell him that you want both of you to think about the relationship. It won’t look rushed or forced, especially when you’ve just had a big fight. Also read How to Cheer Yourself Up After a Bad Breakup with Your Lover

  1. Open Up About Your Reason

The first response he gives you will be “Why?”. He must be wondering about your decision. It’s time for you to open up about your reasons. You may say that you’ve been tired emotionally, dealing with all that feeling if you’re still in a loving relationship so that you want to meet casually. Or if you have your own reason, tell him and make sure he understands it the way you want him to.

  1. Give Him Make-Sense Reasons Why You Want It That Way

Friends with benefit is not as simple as it seems. And not everyone want to have that relationship. You really have to have good reasons upon starting it with your boyfriend. Also read Reasons Why You Should Not Be Friends with Your Ex

But if you are sexually attached with one another, he might agree with it. You shouldn’t think that his feeling for you was not sincere just because he also want it. You’re the one who start it, remember?

  1. He Might Reject Your Offer

There are men who still believe in the power of love. If your boyfriend is one of those men, it could be hard to convince him for a friends with benefit relationship. He could deeply hurt by your decision, he needs time to move on, and he rejects your offer. You should always be ready for this.

  1. If He Accept, Make Sure You’re on the Same Page

These “how to tell your boyfriend you just want to be friends with benefit” tips is successful if he accept the offer. But before making it official, first you have to breakup with him.

Secondly, make sure there are more emotional feeling between you two. If either you or him still love the other, it’s not gonna work. Also read Signs Your Ex Boyfriend Wants to Get Back Together

  1. There are Unfamiliar Changes You Have to Deal with

Many people think that having a friends with benefit relationship is easier than actual dating. It’s not. Especially if you shift from dating to FWB. There are a lot of unfamiliar changes you have to deal with.

You can no longer care about his private life, so can’t he. You are practically living your own life separately, and you meet just for sex.

  1. It’s Hard to Stay Friendly

Having a friends with benefit relationship with you boyfriend is like being friendly with your ex. Way more friendly, in fact. While it’s hard to stay in touch with him after breakup, you’re going to have sex with him! It’s nowhere easy like you imagine.

You’ll feel the sensation of having sex with your eyes blindfolded. He’s closer than ever to you, but you know nothing about him. Also read What to Do When Your Ex Calls You After No Contact

  1. You Might Develop Feeling for Him Again

All of friends with benefit relationship over once either of them develop a real feeling. This can happen to you, too. Just because you had fallen in love with him before, doesn’t mean you can fall for the second time. After changing the status, you see him from different side and you might find part of him you can’t see before.

  1. Set Boundaries

From dating to FWB is one major change. Set the boundaries clearly before you start it. Which line he shouldn’t have crossed, how many times you’re going to see each other in a week, including the place you meet should be arranged beforehand.

  1. Things Can Get Hard for Both of You

Things doesn’t end by the time you decide to be friends with benefit. In fact, it started from them on. No one can guarantee that it’s the better choice for both of you. Things can get hard and your relationship may going somewhere you haven’t imagine before.

Why Breakup is Better Than Being Friends with Benefit

After reading on the tips how to tell your boyfriend you just want to be friends with benefit, you realize that it’s not like what you think. Breaking up is still a better option. If you don’t want to be involved emotionally with him, let him go. You’ll never be able to move if you keep your ex-boyfriend close to you.

Finally Solve Your Relationship Problems

If you’re like me you have probably spent endless nights worrying about your relationship and trying to find an easy way that will help you fix it.

I’d endlessly spent hours browsing the internet to find that one golden answer that would finally fix my relationship and allow me to go back to my happy old self.

Want him to chase, love and obsess over you?
Well, you’ll need to have a much deeper understanding of a thing called the 'hero instinct' which is one of the fundamental drivers behind the behaviour of all men. Once you use that to your advantage, you'll finaly become the most important priority in his life. My friend James Bauer prepared this Quick Free Video that'll teach you to utilize this to your advantage.

As I discovered the hard way, there is no ‘one-size fits all’answer that will help everyone. Everyone’s relationship is different.

That’s when I decided it was time for me to talk to someone knowledgeable about the specific issues I was facing, and I found Relationship Hero.

Within 1 minute, I was able to chat directly to a relationship consultant to whom I could explain the specific issues that I was facing in my relationship.

She gave me suggestions that I could immediately start implementing and we agreed to set a follow up meeting to see how it went.

As soon as I started implementing her suggestions I immediately noticed a big improvement in my relationship. This felt like a huge sigh of relief.

Of course, it still took hard work, but at least with my relationship counselor’s suggestions I now had a plan of action.

If you’re in a similar situation, I would therefore highly recommend that you do the same.

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I’m sure you can get your relationship back on track as well!

Michelle Devani
My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think.