23 Sneaky Ways to Get a Girl to Like You When She Has a Boyfriend

Last updated on April 13, 2024 by Michelle Devani

Are you looking for ways to make a woman like you when she already has a boyfriend?

Perhaps you’re convinced that this woman will like you better than she likes her partner?

Do you feel like you just need a ‘way in’ to open her mind to leaving her boyfriend for you? 

If so, you’re in the right place. Below, you’ll find an in-depth guide to winning over women who have a boyfriend. 

The first thing I have to do is recommend the Stealth Attraction Formula digital course.  This course contains a step-by-step walkthrough guide to attracting women in a subtle and subliminal way. 

Subtlety is key when you’re going after women who have a boyfriend.

If you’re too blatant with your advance, you’re going to be hit with her auto-pilot ‘I have a boyfriend’ rejection before you’ve even had a chance to show her your awesomeness. 

Worse yet, the boyfriend or his buddies might see what’s going on and step in to physically remove you from the situation. Even if you can handle a fight, this isn’t something that will get you the girl.

That’s why I’d recommend you understand the Stealth Attraction formula before you even think about making a move on a taken woman. This method helps attract women ‘under the radar’ and therefore gives you the best chance of getting the girl in this situation. 

With that said, let’s now take a look at some more detailed ideas regarding what you can do to make a woman with a boyfriend notice you.


23 Ways To Get a Girl And Win Her Heart

Some people are just meant to be together. But what if the girl of your dreams already has a boyfriend? How do you get a girl to like you when she is going out with somebody else?

We’ve all been there. You are out with your friends, having a great time in a bar or a club and you spot this hot girl. Instantly there’s an attraction. Your body is tingling with excitement and anticipation

You start thinking about how you are going to approach her and then suddenly she smiles. A guy walks up, wraps his arms around her, they are kissing, and disappears into the crowd. 

Your bubble has burst. This is a girl with a boyfriend. She’s head over heels in love and worse, she’s happy. The rest of the night sucks as your mood nosedives. You can’t get her out of your mind. 

There’s something about this girl that sticks in your mind. Or is it that she already has a boyfriend, in a romantic relationship, and you can’t have her? Perhaps the competitive side in you has taken a massive hit and your ego is bruised. 

Or maybe you want to prove to yourself that you can get the girl that already has a boyfriend. How can you get a girl with a boyfriend to fall in love with you? 

Whatever your reasons, whether you are a player or genuinely in love, I have 23 amazing tips that will help you get a girl to like you. 

1. Talk to her friends

Remember how excited you’d feel when your school friends would rush up to you in the schoolyard and tell you that a certain boy fancied you? By talking to her girlfriends you are engaging this same level of excitement.

The great thing is that you can bet they’ll go straight back to this girl and tell her all about you. This will pique her interest. Who is this guy and why is he asking so many questions about me? It is a psychological fact that we like people who show interest in us. 

2. Hang out in the same places

You can’t expect this girl to develop feelings for a guy if she never sees him or interacts with him. So get out and about and start spending time in the same bars and clubs that she does. Don’t stalk her. I’m not suggesting you go alone and stare at her over a beer all night.

Arrange a few nights out with your friends so that you ‘accidentally’ end up in the same area of town. Have fun with your friends and don’t make the night all about her. But be nearby. 

This is called the ‘familiarity effect’ and has its base in evolutionary survival. We trust people we are familiar with. We don’t know strangers so they might be a threat. 

3. Make yourself stand out

Now that you are frequenting the same places as the girl with a boyfriend, you need to stand out, not only from the crowd but from her current boyfriend. This isn’t a signal for you to be loud and outrageous and start dancing on tables.

Start off slowly with a smile when she looks at you. Be ready to open doors or offer her a seat or space at the bar. Offer to buy her a drink or a round of drinks for her friends. And remember to be polite to bar staff and waiters. 

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4. Display confident body language

One way of standing out from the crowd to get a girl is to look confident whenever she is around. We don’t tend to notice people who are slumped or stooped when they walk. Those with their heads down get ignored.

On the other hand, a confident stance with your chin up, shoulders back, chest puffed out and open posture is far more attractive. Moreover, it draws interest to you and you naturally become the center of attention. 

5. Start a conversation

If you’ve managed to buy her a drink or you’ve interacted in some other way, it is time to step it up a little. You are gradually layering on the trust each time you approach her. She’s used to seeing you, interacting with you on a superficial level, now you can talk to her. 

Keep it casual and light-hearted if you don’t feel confident, or go full-on and flirt. It depends on the girl and how long she has been dating her current boyfriend. You will have to judge the situation for yourself. 

6. Get to know her as a good friend

get to know her as a good friend

A lot of guys worry about being put in the friend zone so they don’t act friendly. They go on a full-on sexual advance and wonder why they get turned down. Women don’t like this direct approach. They want to be wooed and courted the old-fashioned way.

Besides, don’t you want to know the girl a little better before you jump into bed with her? 

After all, you are about to embark on breaking up her committed relationship to pursue your own wants and needs. My advice is to find opportunities where you can spend time with her in a friendly capacity. 

Invite her for drinks with your social group or to a party. 

7. Ask about her current relationship

Once you have become friends you can tentatively ask about her boyfriend. How is her relationship? Is she happy? Does she want to get out of the relationship? Is she in it for the long-term? Her answers will prompt your next move. 

If she says she is blissfully happy and about to take her relationship to the next level, i.e. marriage, you should think seriously about your next move. However, if she starts to badmouth her boyfriend then it indicates she’s ready for the idea of moving on

Most of the time, a relationship will be in a comfortable zone. She will have gotten into the habit of being with her boyfriend and it is up to you to present yourself as the exciting alternative.

8. Open up to her a little

Although women like strong and confident men, they are also attracted to guys that show a bit of vulnerability. This indicates a level of trust. When men open up and reveal a weakness it activates a woman’s caring nature. 

So, reveal a secret, a guilty pleasure, cry watching a romcom, or admit a flaw in your personality. Don’t worry, it won’t put her off, it will have the opposite effect.

9. Make her laugh

Imagine you are in a crowded bar, what is the one thing that will make a girl with a boyfriend turn around and notice a person? It’s laughter. We are all attracted to the sound of laughter. We all want to be involved in it or near it. 

Laughter is a powerful aphrodisiac. How often do you see on dating profiles ‘must have a GSOH’? Being able to make someone laugh is an indication that your future with this person is going to be fun. It also shows that this person is sociable and has an agreeable personality. 

10. Mimic her body posture

This is a psychological trick you can use to your advantage if you don’t have the confidence when it comes to humor or wordplay. Watch what she does and subtly mimic her actions. This is called ‘mirroring’ or in scientific terms ‘limbic synchrony’. 

When we are in tune with someone, when we agree, like, or are interested in them, we unconsciously mirror their body movements. The unconscious bit is important because you can consciously mirror a person’s body posture and create a feeling of rapport with that person. 

Be subtle so that she doesn’t notice. So slowly change your body positions to match hers. 

11. Tease her

Teasing is another way of using humor to get closer to get a girl with a boyfriend to fall in love with you. Girls know that teasing means a guy likes them. A bit of gentle ribbing, even physical, says a lot about your intentions. 

You can use reverse psychology as a way of teasing her, for instance, tell her that you’d never take her out because she has a boyfriend. Or ask her to set you a list of challenges to complete before you can take her out. 

12. Be attentive when she’s talking 

be attentive when shes talking

No girl will give you the time of day over her current boyfriend if she thinks for one minute that you’re not listening to her. Remember, there is a difference between active listening and simply replying in a conversation. 

Practice active listening. What this means is to actively listen to what she says. Don’t start thinking about your response midway through her speaking. Listen to what she is saying. Then, when she’s finished, think about a follow-up question she can respond to. 

13. Compliment her

Girls love compliments and if you want to get a girl to like you when she has a boyfriend this may be your way in. When relationships go on for a while they can get stale and boring. One of the first things to go is an appreciation of the other person.

We tend to take our relationship for granted. Show her just how gorgeous she is. Compliment her style, her work ethic, her dress sense, her fun sense of humor, her intelligence, anything you actually admire.

14. Ask her for a favor

This might seem counterintuitive, but asking someone for a small favor actually makes them like you more. This is called the ‘Benjamin Franklin Effect’ because Benjamin Franklin used this technique so well on his political opponents to get them to do things for him

This psychological effect works because when we do something for someone we think that we must like them, otherwise we wouldn’t have helped them. To get a girl with a boyfriend, ask her for a small favor that is not too out of her way but doesn’t overdo it. 

15. Make her feel special as a woman

If the relationship has been going on for a while she might feel unloved as a woman. Feeling desirable again can be intoxicating and is the reason for many affairs. 

Use compliments to remind her how sexy she is and how lucky her boyfriend is to have such a sensual woman at home. Talk about the things you’d love to do to her if you were her boyfriend. Tell her how you’d spend hours pleasuring her and what a great relationship you’d have. 

16. Find out what she likes 

You’ll never prise this girl away from her current boyfriend if you have no idea of the kind of things she likes. How will you even start a conversation? If you can’t be bothered to research her beforehand then you shouldn’t be trying to get this girl to fall in love with you in the first place.

However, if you are serious, there are ways to find out what she likes. The easiest way is to go on her social media pages. Look at her likes pages, see what she posts and talks about. Is she into films, music, books, clubs? 

Find out what sort of things she likes, listen to her, do your research on them so that the next time you meet you have something to talk about.

17. Then highlight your common interests

We have all heard of the saying opposites attract, but actually, studies show that we like people who like the same things as we do. It is called the ‘similarity/familiarity effect’. In other words, we like people like us. 

People are attracted to people who share the same personalities. When you think about it, it does make sense. An extrovert and an introvert are not going to agree on the best way to spend the weekend. Someone who loves slapstick comedy is not going to find intellectual observational humor very funny. 

When you find a person that loves to watch old black and white kitsch sci-fi movies with you, or someone whose favorite author is also John Irving, you feel as if you are in a special tribe of two. 

18. Show her how you’d be a better boyfriend

show her how youd be a better boyfriend

There’s nothing worse than badmouthing her boyfriend. If anything, it will make her defend him. Your best bet is to show her what a better boyfriend you would be. 

How? Let’s say he is controlling and wants to know every move she makes. You can be casual and say to her when why not text she has the time. If he is stingy with money then flash the cash. If he never takes her out then treat her to dinner somewhere expensive. You get the picture. Be his better opposite. 

19. Touch in a nonsexual way

One way to get a girl to like you without her even knowing it is happening is to touch her, but not in a sexual way. You can think of it as teasing but physically. For example, after telling a joke and you are both laughing, touch her shoulder in a friendly manner. 

Or as you are walking out of a bar or club gently place your hand on her elbow or the small of her back to guide her out. Touch her knee to get her attention if you want to talk to her. Make her feel comfortable with your touch. One thing though, if she starts complaining, back off.

20. Use language to get her to like you

If you haven’t heard of NLP (Neuro-linguistic Programming) then I would suggest that you research it now. It is a way of using language to influence and improve your situation. You can employ NLP in different ways, from using seductive words in everyday speech such as ‘That drink looks really inviting’ to mirroring the words she uses herself.

If she has a habit of saying ‘cool’ or ‘fine’ you say the same words. The trick to get a girl with a boyfriend to fall for you is to match her speech pattern, even down to her accent but don’t be too obvious. Remember, we are suspicious of anything and anyone new. We like the familiar. 

Another way to use NLP is to always be positive. You want this girl to come away with good feelings about you. She needs to associate you with fun times and great memories. So be upbeat, use humor, and big her and yourself up. 

21. Buy her little gifts

When you buy a girl a gift it shows her that at some point during the day you were thinking about her. Girls love that. The gift doesn’t have to be expensive, in fact, make sure it isn’t, otherwise, she will think you are trying to rush things. 

Something small but meaningful. You could say that you remember her talking about this recipe the other day and she couldn’t find mango powder and you happened to see some so you got it for her. Or you knew that she liked a particular author and you came across her latest book on offer and you thought of her.

22. Show her what an exciting life she could have with you

There’s no point trying to get a girl to like you when she has a boyfriend if your life sucks. You have to make her realize that your life is desirable and exciting for her to want to leave her guy. 

If she’s unsure still, highlight your ambition, dress smartly, be clean and well-presented and tell her about your plans for the future. 

23. Be direct

If all else fails, be direct. Some girls respond well to men who are upfront and straightforward. It can be incredibly flattering to know that another man is interested in you, even though he knows you already have a boyfriend. 


Is it OK to like a girl who has a boyfriend?

You can’t help who you like, it is what you are prepared to do about it that counts. Is she happy in her current relationship? Why do you like her? Is it because you can’t have her? Are you a player or truly in love with her? Are you ready for the fallout that comes with a broken relationship? 

Should you tell a girl you like her if she has a boyfriend?

I would hold off telling a girl before you have learned a little more about her relationship first. Is she in a committed and happy relationship or is she in trouble? You can tell her how you feel so long as you don’t expect anything to happen. If you can see she’s uncomfortable then back off. 

What if a girl I like has a boyfriend?

It depends on how committed her relationship is with her current boyfriend. If she is very much in love then unfortunately there is nothing much you can do. Of course, you can tell her how you feel in the hopes that she’s interested in you. 

What does every girl want in a boyfriend?

Most girls want a trustworthy guy that loves them and puts them first. They want to be able to be themselves. Girls want a boyfriend to support them and pay them attention. They love affection and want a caring and strong guy who will protect them. 

What should I text a girl I like?

Girls like funny texts so start off with a witty opener to break the ice. You can be a little flirty but don’t be smutty or sexual. Then a compliment or two won’t go amiss. After you have started chatting you can progress to asking her out for a drink. 

In A Nutshell

Getting a girl to like you when she already has a boyfriend doesn’t have to be tricky. Just follow my guidelines and hopefully, if the girl likes you, you’ll be successful. 

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Michelle Devani
My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think.

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