Dating in Islam Haram or Halal? Here's the Laws

Last updated on June 14, 2022 by Michelle Devani

Is dating in Islam haram or halal? Dating has become something that is very common these days. It’s a status that is used to give meaning on a relationship between a man and a woman, especially those who are still young. When a man and a woman has the same feeling towards each other, they would date.

Below is the explanation of dating according to Islam.

How Does Islam View the Dating Phenomenon?

Basically, it is very hard for us to define the true meaning of love. Qayim’s mother once said, “Love cannot be defined clearly, even if defined it does not produce (something) but becomes blurred and unclear, (meaning) the definition is the existence of love itself.” (Madarij Al-Salikeen)

It can be said that love is something pure in human nature created by Allah SWT. Essentially love is a form of deeds of the heart that is put into realisation. If the love is built based on the blessing of Allah SWT then love can be considered as a form of worship. But if the love goes against the blessing of Allah SWT, then it is disobedience. Also read on the Reasons Why You Should Not Live Together before Marriage.

Allah SWT speaks:

قُلْ إِنْ كُنْتُمْ تُحِبُّونَ اللهَ فَاتَّبِعُوني‏ يُحْبِبْكُمُ اللهُ وَ يَغْفِرْ لَكُمْ ذُنُوبَكُمْ وَ اللهُ غَفُورٌ رَحيمٌ

Meaning “Say, (O Muhammad), ‘If you should love Allah, then follow me, (so) Allah will love you and forgive you your sins. And Allah is Forgiving and Merciful.” (Ali ‘Imran 3:31)

The Prophet (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said, “There are three things which if a person finds them, he has found the sweetness of faith: when Allah and His Messenger are dearer to him than all else; when he loves a person for no other reason than for the sake of Allah; and when he hates to return to kufr Allah has saved him from it as he would hate to be thrown into fire.” (Sahih Al-Bukhari)

From everything said above, it can be summarised that the most important part of love in man is his love towards Allah SWT and the Prophets. If humans love each other then that should be because they love Allah and to avoid being kufr to Allah.

But many people define love in the wrong way especially when it comes to the love between a man and a woman. This is where they would call it as dating. Dating consists of carrying out actions or affections that express love towards one another. It can be by being alone together, holding hands or doing things that are only allowed after marriage. See also the Purpose of Life According to Islam and the Qur'an.

It can be said that many people who are dating are driven by their sexual desire and forget Allah. Their feelings are able to defeat the love that they’re supposed to have for Allah SWT and the Prophets.

Allah SWT speaks:

وَمِنَ النَّاسِ مَنْ يَتَّخِذُ مِنْ دُونِ اللَّهِ أَنْدَادًا يُحِبُّونَهُمْ كَحُبِّ اللَّهِ ۖ وَالَّذِينَ آمَنُوا أَشَدُّ حُبًّا لِلَّهِ ۗ وَلَوْ يَرَى الَّذِينَ ظَلَمُوا إِذْ يَرَوْنَ الْعَذَابَ أَنَّ الْقُوَّةَ لِلَّهِ جَمِيعًا وَأَنَّ اللَّهَ شَدِيدُ الْعَذَابِ

“And (yet), among the people are those who take other than Allah as equals (to Him). They love them as they (should) love Allah. But those who believe are stronger in love for Allah. And if only they who have wronged would consider (that) when they see the punishment, (they will be certain) that all power belongs to Allah and that Allah is severe in punishment.” (Al-Baqarah 2:165) 

So is Dating in Islam Haram or Halal?

According to a lot of scholars, dating is fine after there is an official relationship between a man and a woman through marriage. That means dating before marriage is considered as haram. Why is that?

There is a lot to to lose when dating before marriage. After all, it’s not something that will be blessed by Allah SWT. Those who are dating will want to meet and spend so much time with each other. If those things are done before a marriage then sins are bound to happen. Get to know the Ways to Love Your Husband in Islam.

Allah SWT speaks:

وَلاَ تَقْرَبُوا الِزنىَ إنَهُ كَانَ فَاحِشَةً وَسَاءَ سَبِيلاً

Meaning, “And do not approach unlawful sexual intercourse. Indeed, it is ever an immorality and is evil as a way.” (Al-Isra 17:32)

The Prophet (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said, “The eyes also commit adultery by looking at someone with lust, both hands can commit adultery, both legs can commit adultery. All of it will be justified or denied by the genitals.” (Sahih Al-Bukhari)

The Prophet (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) also mentioned, “Allah has written for Adam’s son his share of adultery which he commits inevitably. The adultery of the eyes is the sight (to gaze at a forbidden thing), the adultery of the tongue is the talk, and the inner self wishes and desires and the private parts testify all this or deny it.” (Sahih Al-Bukhari) 

Why is it Said that Dating is An Unlawful Act?

When an unmarried couple are alone by themselves, satan will be the third party and causes chaos. Satan will tempt them to commit sins. Dating may also cause slander or defamation of the people involved. Other than that, they will also become overwhelmed with their feelings and commit unlawful acts.Is dating in Islam haram or halal then? It is halal after marriage.

Do you feel like he kind of takes you for granted?
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Read more on Islamic Dating Rules and Reasons for Marriage Duties According to Islam

Here are some tips to avoid unlawful acts when you’re in love with someone:

  1. Marriage will ensure your pride and protects you from unwanted gaze. It will also prevent you from gazing wrongly at other people.
  2. If you’re not ready for a marriage then you should fast.
  3. Keep sight and hearing away from anything that will cause lust.
  4. Get closer to Allah SWT by reading the Qur’an or praying.
  5. Remember that Allah SWT will give rewards to those who are able to hold back from committing unlawful acts. Allah SWT will also give rewards to those who excel being patience.

Thus, now you know about dating in Islam haram or halal.

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To get him to really show you how he feels and communicate how much he appreciates you, there's one simple thing, although often overlooked, thing you can say to him today that taps into how men are wired and can often lead to them suddenly pouring their heart out. My friend recorded a quick free video (click to watch) that shows exactly how to do that.

Michelle Devani
My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think.
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