How Can I Tell My Straight Guy Friend I Have Feelings for Him Without Offending or Scaring Him Away?

Last updated on June 13, 2022 by Michelle Devani

It can be hard when you have feelings for a straight guy, especially if he doesn't know that you're not straight.

It's a tough situation to be in, and there are several different scenarios to consider before really asking the question "how can I tell my straight guy friend I have feelings for him without offending or scaring him away?" (Also read Best Ways How to Talk to Your Crush If You are a Gay and He’s Straight.)

Let's look at the first possible scenario: he knows that you're gay and doesn't mind it. How can you tell him you have feelings for him without offending or scaring him away?

  1. Slowly Approach Him.

    You don't want to be too straightforward about it. Start with a simple casual conversation that will eventually lead to you to confess your crush on him. That way, he won't be taken aback. (Also read How to Tell a Friend You’re Gay and You Love Them.)

  2. Be Casual About It.

    It would be a lot simpler if he was your best friend. He would definitely understand and wouldn't think much of it nor would he make a big deal out of it. If he can see the point of view you're speaking from, then he won't see it as a huge problem.

  3. Listen to Him.

    You might leave him speechless, or maybe you won't. Either way, you should listen to whatever he has to say. Listen to his thoughts, even if they may sting a little.

Related: Useful Tips About How Should You Talk to a Friend Who’s Gay

Now let's look at the second possible scenario: he doesn't know that you're gay, and you don't know if he doesn't mind it or if he does. This is far more tricky, because it's kind of like trying to wake up a sleeping dragon.

If you're careful enough, then the dragon won't wake up and you'll make it out alive, but if you're careless, it'll wake up and you might just end up dead. So how can you tell him you have feelings for him without offending or scaring him away?

  1. Approach Him Gently.

    This is similar to the first scenario, however this time it's more like trying to tame a wild lion. You have to choose your words carefully that if he's susceptive enough, he'll understand where you're going. (Also read How to Tell Someone You’re Gay Without Saying It.

  2. Be Honest with Your Feelings.

    Don't hide it. It may be normal for someone who's gone through a lot of rejection to hide their feelings, but if you're confessing to someone, it's better to let everything out. (Also read How to Tell If Your Gay Friend Has A Crush On You.)

  3. Be Prepared for the Worst.

    Sometimes the situation can be unpredictable, so just prepare yourself for the worst. Rejection is one thing, but he might come to a point where he doesn't want anything to do with you anymore. But you know what? That's okay, because you're worth more than him, and you no longer have to spend your time and energy on someone who won't accept you for who you are.

No matter how he reacts, what matters is that you stay true to yourself. Love yourself over everything else.

Does it feel like pulling teeth getting him to say how he feels about you?
Some men can be very gaurded and closed when it comes to expressing how they feel - it can almost feel like they are pulling away from you. Many women make the mistake of pushing their man to say how they feel, but this is actually one of the worst things you can do as it can push him away further.

To get him to really show you how he feels and communicate how much he appreciates you, there's one simple thing, although often overlooked, thing you can say to him today that taps into how men are wired and can often lead to them suddenly pouring their heart out. My friend recorded a quick free video (click to watch) that shows exactly how to do that.

Michelle Devani
My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think.
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