Are you the guy who has lots of crushes on girls, but the girls don’t like you back?
Do you often feel clueless about what makes women have crushes on guys?
Or maybe you think you know, but you’re way off the mark, because your current strategy for attracting women isn’t working at all?
Either way, this guide is going to clear things up for you really well.
You’re going to learn women are attracted to, and the most effective ways to make a girl have a crush on you.
Let’s begin with the #1 most important rule to avoid turning women off completely.
Women want a man who is slightly above them in the sexual marketplace. If you’re making it obvious she can have or - even worse - begging her to be your girlfriend, it does nothing to make you appear like a man worth pursuing.
In this case, she’s most likely to lose interest in you and start pursuing a guy who doesn’t seem to care about her at all. Maybe you’ve seen this happen in the flesh before!
If you want to know how to behave in a way that makes women chase you, I would strongly urge you to check out this online course called Stealth Seduction. It features a step-by-step guide to subtly seducing a woman in a way that inspires her to chase you.
It was created by some of the most experienced active dating coaches, and I can personally vouch for it too. I would love it if a man approached me in this manner. There’s just something so cheesy, suspicious, and low-value about a man that tries too hard.
With that being said, below you’ll find a list of the basics when it comes to inspiring women to have a crush on you.
Wanting to make a girl like you as a guy is as normal as it gets. Whether it’s one you’ve fallen for or just want to be close with for certain perks, we can agree that your chances with girls skyrocket when they have a crush on you.
But how do you engineer a crush? Isn’t this sort of thing usually natural? Well, ideally, yes. But there’s also nothing wrong with a bit of strategic positioning if it moves your reality closer to what you want. The problem, however, lies in knowing what choices help make a girl recognize you as someone worth crushing on.
Now, no man is an island, and even if that was the case, he probably wouldn’t have a direct answer to any question involving girls. This is either because obviously, each one is unique. So, it’s okay if you oscillate between having some idea and being totally clueless about approaching stuff like this. That’s why I’m here, and as always, I came with a bagful of tips.
As implied above, there’s no such thing as a standard approach as far as girls go. Even the best tips might be pointless if you don’t first figure out what kind of effect they are likely to have on a given girl. Influencing factors include but are not limited to her taste/preferences, what stage she’s at in life, and maybe even what time of the month it is.
Now, tracking her lady calendar may not be the most practical option, but the others you can manage without letting on to her (more on this in #2). Find out things like whether she’s an introvert or a social butterfly.
Is physical attractiveness a big deal to her, or does she seem more of a sapiosexual? Does she even like men? How? By stealthily observing her, her circle, and the guy (person, people) she currently has the hots for.
A crush, by definition, is someone you find super attractive and special but mostly perceive to be out of your league for a relationship. On the other hand, a tryhard, well, tries too hard. No matter your motivations for wanting to make a girl crush on you, the last thing you want is to give her the impression that you’re easy.
If you treat her like the only girl in the world prematurely, like your life revolves around her, you risk becoming too “getable” to crush on. Conversely, seeming relatively uninterested while doing your sexy thing is more likely to get your crush’s attention and make her want you to look her way. And that right there is the spot you want to be in.
On becoming ungettable: don’t appear readily available. Whether the girl in question is a neighbor, your schoolmate, or a co-worker, you can work this angle. This means the girl you’re hoping would develop a crush on you is not a good choice of a confidant right now.
If you can’t help crossing paths with her regularly, manage the familiarity by minimizing small talk – without being rude, of course. If you are phone buddies, on top of not texting and calling all the time, don’t let your enthusiasm noticeably exceed hers when you do. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and you should totally capitalize on that.
For some people, physical attraction is the primary deciding factor to liking someone. For some, it’s intellect, and for others, it’s other things. But I’ll tell you right now, a pleasant-smelling guy is as close as it gets to a universal type. And no, I don’t mean bathing in cologne and body spray so people can perceive you from a mile away.
This particular way takes us back to the basics of maintaining decent personal hygiene like brushing, bathing, and changing into clean clothes when due. As for the extra stuff like what to apply and how, follow guides suited for men instead of general ones.
Say what you will, but more often than it seems, “he’s so funny” > “he’s hot.” At any given time, most girls have at least one very hot guy in their orbit. But it’s not every day they meet a decent-looking one that can also make them laugh.
Do you feel like he kind of takes you for granted?
Unfortunately this is one of the most frequent complaints we get from our readers, where they feel they aren't a priority for their boyfriend or husband. They always seem to have some excuse as to why they can't spend some quality time with you like they used to.
To see if he actually likes you take this quick free quiz and we'll let you know if it's worth putting any more time into this guy.
You don’t have to get close first to wow her with your inner Jerry Seinfeld, people just have to find you funny to plant the seed. Nevertheless, the ease with which you’re able to pull this off is everything, better to be the jovial guy that can laugh at himself than a fake, wannabe comedian.
Confidence is another quality you will want to arm yourself with because everyone is attracted to it. It’s actually non-negotiable if you are serious about drawing a crush because most, if not everything you need to make that happen has confidence at its core.
Be honest with yourself about what aspects make you most insecure, and do what you can to beef up that area. In the meantime, keep your chin up, your posture straight, and fake it till you make it.
What you wear matters a whole lot as far as attracting girls go, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. However, it’s not by wearing the most expensive or trendy pieces, but how you rock it. Go with the style that feels most comfortable for you, so your appearance is a confidence booster in itself.
Whatever your style, prioritize fit and comfort because, trust me, people can tell when you aren’t. A bit of range is also encouraged, especially if being fashionable is high on your target’s crush checklist.
Speaking of confidence boosters, what do you eat, and how often do you exercise? A healthy diet plus regular workouts have so many benefits, and each one brings you a step closer to never having to “fake it” again.
You come across as more well-rounded when you have a good posture, look/feel fit, and buzzing with all-around good energy. Your body is at its best when active, which shows in the way you shine, and does wonder for your self-esteem.
Maturity is attractive whether you are in high school or your golden years. It is also relative so, perhaps a better way to put it would be to say act mature for your age. Don’t pressure yourself into growing up too fast to impress, it doesn’t work that way.
Instead, give yourself to the process of thinking outside yourself and growing emotionally, and before you know it, it becomes you. As simple as that sounds, you’d be surprised how many people get it wrong and how much getting it right can make you stand out.
While the umbrella goal is still to get your crush to notice you, this one you should do for yourself. Thankfully, everyone has something they are genuinely interested in, find yours if you haven’t already, and go hard at it. It doesn’t have to be sports or music to count, it can be school, food, music, art, speaking, goofiness, nerdy stuff, career, sex even.
The idea is to be so into whatever it is you can do/talk about it all day and not feel unfulfilled. Bonus points if she likes your hobby (yay, common ground!), but even if it’s not ordinarily her scene, seeing you shine at something so “odd” can also be endearing.
Then again, excelling at something she’s guaranteed to appreciate may not be the worst way to go. If you can get close enough to figure out activities she enjoys that you happen to like too, join the club. Sharing the same passion ups your odds with a girl with a taste for guys like her (similarity-attraction effect).
Alternatively, you can get yourself involved in a close relative of her interest so that you can plant yourself near (not within) her immediate vicinity. That way, you can be the charming guy she sees around and has almost common interests with. Trust me, people get crushed on for less.
This one you might want to hold on to until she’s starting to at least show body language signs that she might find you attractive. E.g., if she leans towards you when talking, bites/licks her lips, fiddles with her hair, tilts her head, and generally doesn’t seem closed off in your presence, those are good signs.
Girls are often shyer than usual and may blush and smile more around their crush too. So, if you pick up on any of these body language cues, test the waters by holding her gaze a bit longer. If she responds affirmatively, smile back or something the next time. Basically, keep the flirting spaced and light as less is more in situations like this.
If you’re social media famous, you’re basically a celebrity. I’m sure I don’t have to go into all the ways being successful on SM makes one more desirable because if you’re reading this, you know. It’s just like when everyone wants to associate with the popular kids in school, but on a larger scale.
The assumption is that for people from all over the world to follow you, it must mean you have/post something creative/interesting, which is a significant bragging right in today’s climate.
If you can’t get the likes up, focus on the bag. There are definitely people who don’t give a damn about your coin, but a lot more who do. Get your money up, and people – boys, girls, and everyone in between– naturally flock towards you.
Notwithstanding, if you have such an endgame as a meaningful relationship in mind, you don’t want your net worth to be your only appealing attribute. Think of your buying power as the magnet and other desirable qualities like empathy, kindness, humor, talent, intellect, etc., as what makes them stick (stay).
Unless the girl you have in mind is already your best friend, you should totally employ one of the surest ways to attract women: mystery. Besides making yourself scarce, you also want to talk less around her and be a little hard to read generally. If there’s a side to you people already label weird, even better, lean into it.
I find it best to naturally blend the mystery into your known persona, though, rather than play it like a role, so you don’t come across as fake. If you’re physically attractive and reserved, act like she’s watching even if you two don’t talk.
If you can successfully pull off the mysterious act, you will notice a difference in the number of girls that suddenly want to talk to you. If the girl you want isn’t one of them, however, so long as you are on each other’s radar, she’s most likely as curious about you as the others.
If she’s interested, she may do her part to make you two start talking. If that happens, people usually feel they can trust the silent type guys. So, if she opens up to you, you may share something too – as a friend would. Being secretive makes any personal thing you share feel more profound, thus making her feel special.
I’d save this method for a girl you see yourself having a relationship with, though, or at least, one you can share your real self with without regrets.
Like I said above, kindness is a turn-on, or in this case, a crush magnet. There’s absolutely no reason to be a jerk to get the girls anymore. Believe it or not, compassion is the new macho. It’s easy for most guys to act right to/around an attractive girl, so no, it’s not enough to be a good listener to just her either.
No one expects you to pay as much attention to every other person, but at least treat everyone with the respect they deserve. On the flip side, people tend to want to take advantage of you if you’re decent. Therefore, learn to be firm so as not to become a pushover.
Even if you put your best foot forward and you are next on her list after her celebrity crush, it can still take some time to notice any progress. Attraction may be instant, but you should also know that a woman’s crush is often one of her most guarded secrets, unlike relationship status that people readily share.
My advice? Put in the work, then wait. When the right time comes. She’ll probably be the one to tell on herself.
While you wait, it might be tempting to want to see how far you’ve come by asking her out. Unfortunately, agreeing to go out isn’t a clear-cut sign you succeeded in making her crush on you. This is because people say yes to the first date for the fun of it every day. Not to mention you relinquish your edge in the game by showing you like her.
Remember, you want to come across as relatively unattainable; the longer you can do that, the more the desire burns.
Alternatively, you can just go ahead and brute force the attraction by coming on to her. Make her like you, then pull the classic hot and cold game. It’s not the most ethical tip on the list. You may end up hurting her badly, making her hate you forever.
It will eventually get old like most such games, of course, and the drawback is you won’t know when she’s had enough. This is obviously not the best way to go, especially if you want something beyond a crush (before the other guy she’s talking to becomes her new boyfriend over you).
I know dating may seem like a counterproductive way to make a girl like you. But listen, people feel what they feel no matter your status. Several studies have highlighted why men seem to get an attractiveness boost when presumed taken; as well as theories abound from evolution to psychology. So yes, it’s a thing.
There’s an obvious downside to it, though. That is, appearing to be in a relationship may keep those who mind from acting on the crush they get on you. So, if that’s not the most important thing to you, then you should definitely try flaunting your dating prowess.
Another unsuspecting way to put yourself on a girl’s radar is to introduce her to your best self indirectly. What better way to do this than to infiltrate her friend group/social circle? And by that, I mean to be friendly with her friends, not sleep with or date them.
How you go about that is entirely your prerogative as long as you don’t come on too strong or single her out for special treatment. Don’t try too hard to fit in the group either. Rather, feel free to flex whatever skill you have that might appeal to their sensibilities. Anything that stands you out works, whether that’s your podcast or a basketball game you’re playing in, will do.
Or, instead of running away from familiarity, you could choose to lean into it and be there when she ‘needs’ someone. Lead her to become attracted to you by being the great boyfriend she doesn’t have.
Of course, this way is a slippery slope to becoming one of the nice guys who get friend-zoned, hopefully by now, that goes without saying at this point.
To make a girl like you, ask her questions suggesting you have a genuine interest in her and not just her relationship status or whether she’s dtf. What that means may vary by situation and how close you are, but you can hardly go wrong if you remember this important rule.
Make her laugh. Don’t be a tryhard, i.e., don’t make yourself overly available to her. Smell/look good. Be popular, rich, or both. Be mysterious. Have something going and stand out at it. Be there for her when she needs someone without ever asking anything of her in return.
What questions to ask a girl when flirting depends on the intensity/how far into it you’ve gone and what you hope to achieve through it. A general rule with seduction is to let the vibe guide you and always start light, then go from there if all parties respond well.
Something funny is always a safe bet because girls love guys that can make them laugh. Some are easily impressed by intellectual prowess. So, you can always go for something smart. At the same time, some girls will only fall for a guy that can be vulnerable with them. When in doubt, try everything and see what sticks.
What question is considered cute will definitely differ depending on who you ask. But I guess you can always gauge what someone might be interested in by observing them individually.
Now you have all these tips to get girls to crush on you, you don’t need luck, but I’m sending some your way anyway. Remember to be confident through it all, even if you have to fake it at first. Though this guide aims to equip you, try not to take it personally if someone doesn’t look your way even after applying the tips. The game remains the game, you win some, you lose some.
As always, let’s hear your feedback in the comments and share the article if you enjoyed it.
Does it feel like pulling teeth getting him to say how he feels about you?
Some men can be very guarded and closed when it comes to expressing how they feel - it can almost feel like they are pulling away from you and leaves you wondering whether he's actually into you.
Find out to see whether he actually likes you by taking this quick free quiz