What to Say to a Girl When She Says She's Not Beautiful (31 Clever Things)

by Michelle Devani

Are you wondering how to address your crush when she says she’s not beautiful?

It can be difficult for a man to know what to do in this situation, especially if it’s obvious to him that this woman is visually stunning.

Thankfully, I have created this list of ideas for things to say when your special woman expresses disdain for her appearance. 

Before we start though, I have to say these ideas are most effective when you’ve already established mutual attraction for each other. 

If you’re still in the courtship period, the sentences on this list could be a bit overwhelming for her. 

In the early days of getting to know a woman, it’s better to be a bit more subtle about your affection. 

Here’s a great guide explaining why it’s better to be less blunt about your attraction when you first meet a woman. It’s packed with examples too.  

This expert advice will help you flirt with women in the most compelling and attractive way. It’s a must-read for single guys!

However, if you’re in a deeper relationship with a woman who is suffering from these confidence issues, I imagine you’ll find the list below very useful.

Best Things to Say to a Girl When She Says She’s Not Beautiful

If you are wondering what to say to a girl when she says she’s not beautiful, you are in luck because that is the topic of the day. In this article, we’ll discuss the many things you can say to a girl to make her fall in love with your words. These compliments and questions will help her feel more confident and full of joy.

We will also be discussing other ways to make girls feel more confident about themselves and how you will know if your words have made a difference in a girl’s life or not. 

If you want a girl to fall in love with you, be sure to read this article because I’ll be sharing the secrets to building her confidence with compliments, questions, and behavior.

  1. You are completely gorgeous - inside and out!
  2. This is completely untrue!
  3. Quit being down about your appearance!
  4. Have you actually looked in a mirror lately?!?
  5. Guys always say you look so hot!
  6. Don’t compare yourself to others! You are special!
  7. How can you say that?
  8. You have the most amazing eyes in the world!
  9. Cheer up, and don’t say things like that!
  10. Everyone is beautiful in some way!
  11. If that’s true, why am I so attracted to you?
  12. That’s right because you are more than beautiful!
  13. Are you being serious right now?
  14. Your beauty is actually overwhelming to me!
  15. No one would agree with what you just said.
  16. You are a unique beauty!
  17. I wouldn’t change one thing about you, babe!
  18. You should love yourself more, hon!
  19. I think you are absolutely beautiful!
  20. Don’t talk like that ever!
  21. You are totally stunning, my dear!
  22. You are one of God’s most beautiful creatures!
  23. You are gorgeous, and your heart and soul are beautiful.
  24. You are one of a kind!
  25. If that’s true, why does every single guy you pass check you out?
  26. Don’t be down on your appearance like that!
  27. That’s crazy talk!
  28. Since you know that’s not true, what is the real problem here?
  29. What makes you think something crazy like that?
  30. You are nuts if you think that is true!
  31. You are a beautiful person and always have been!

How To Make A Girl Feel Better About Herself

1. Make her feel more confident about her appearance

make her feel more confident about her appearance

Remember that even the prettiest girls don’t always know they are as beautiful as they are. They still need to hear compliments, letting them know that they are as gorgeous as they truly are. Over time, if gorgeous girls don’t hear compliments, they may think something has changed about the way they look or the way they carry themselves.

If you fall in love with a pretty girl, just remember that she still wants to hear what you think about her. She needs to know the attraction that you initially felt for her is still there - alive and well. It may seem tedious to pay your girl compliments when you know she’s a total hottie, but she does need to hear about it.

Talk to her about how pretty she looks one day or compliment her on a feature that you don’t usually talk about. If she has pretty eyes, tell her you get lost in her mesmerizing eyes. This way, she will know you are still very attracted to her and find new ways to love her every single day. Be sure to look her in the eyes when you send her compliments!

2. Talk about her other great qualities

Maybe your girlfriend’s appearance isn’t the most important thing to you, or perhaps she is drop-dead gorgeous and has captivating eyes, but you want her to know you value other things about her. Let her know that you think she is clever, funny, and original. Tell her she is one of a kind and lights up your life every time you think about her!

As you compliment your girlfriend for her other beneficial qualities, don’t pressure her to like something about herself that isn’t there. If she isn’t the smartest bulb in the bulb box, don’t tell her she’s a genius. That’s dishonest and not how you really feel. Girls know when you are just saying something to blow smoke.

If she is intelligent, let her know the many times her smarts have helped her out in her and your life and in your relationship! Tell her of a specific instance when her intelligence got the two of you out of a jam! She’ll know you are being honest with her if you do it that way. Tell her the many things you love about her that are great, and she’ll light up!

3. Boost her self-esteem

If you want to help build the self-esteem of your girl, you should talk about the ways she benefits the world. How has she made a difference in the life of someone else? What would be different in the world without this girl? How has she helped other people? Talk about what a wonder she is and how fabulous and amazing her deeds are.

I know, it sounds like you are blowing smoke up her skirt, but really you are paying her true compliments to build her self-esteem back up. If your girlfriend doesn’t believe she is a beautiful woman, she may not realize all the great things she has done with her life and how she has affected other people’s lives.

If that doesn’t really apply to this girl, consider praising her for the efforts she has made in life rather than her accomplishments. Maybe she never won first place at the piano, but she did show dedication and commitment by going to piano practice every single day! That’s sure something to be proud of! Many people couldn’t pull that off!

4. Comfort her

If you think your girl is down in the dumps because of something, find out what’s going on with the woman you love! It’s your job to comfort and love her - no matter what. Show her that even if she has experienced a failure, she is still a winner in your book. Let her know that you will be there for her through thick and thin.

Show your woman that you are excited to be a part of her life. If you feel like your relationship has benefited your life in many ways, let her know that. That will make her feel better, and it’s important that you try to make her happy when she’s down. If you aren’t sure what to say to comfort her, ask her what would make her feel better.

I really don’t know of many women who wouldn’t love getting flowers for no reason at all. If you suspect something is wrong with your girl, consider sending her roses with a note saying that you are thinking of her and think she is a special human being! She will value and appreciate you and your relationship so much more by doing this easy thing!

5. Make her smile or laugh

One great way to engage with your woman and make her frown or negative mood turn upside down is to make her smile. You could send her a text, letting her know that she is the only girl for you or that you are proud of her and happy to be in a relationship with such a strong woman! She’ll smile and know you are thinking of her.

Consider telling her a funny story or joke you’ve heard. Find a motivational Facebook group for girls and invite her to join. I recently became part of a group like that, and every day they post dozens of motivational, encouraging, and uplifting quotes, stories, and Bible verses, and I find it very encouraging. It helps me get through the day!

If you think your woman is feeling sad because she has gone through something that has made her feel weak, afraid, or foolish, let her know the benefits of going through tough times. Tell her she is now stronger because of it, braver since she went through it, and wiser because she knows new things now.

6. Tell her positive affirmations

tell her positive affirmations

It may sound cheesy, but letting her know that God or the universe is out there to support her could cheer her up immensely. Maybe send her some encouraging Bible verses or motivational quotes to lift her spirits. Tell her that other girls have gone through the same thing that she is going through and come out stronger in the end.

Showing her that she isn’t the only girl that has suffered the loss she is going through (or whatever problem that is causing her to be down on herself) will go a long way toward building her mood back up. Tell her that she is a smart, capable woman who will get through this and will come out a stronger individual after it’s over.

If you let your girl know things like that, she will know you care deeply about her feelings and want her to be happy. If you are working to make her happier, she will cherish your relationship and will strive to make you as happy as you are trying to make her. Remember, in relationships, things go both ways.

7. Find out why she said that

Suppose you aren’t aware of what made her say that awful thing (she doesn’t think she’s beautiful); find out what’s going on. Get to the bottom of the problem. Why is she feeling down? Is there something going on at school or work that you don’t know about? She may just need someone to listen to her talk about her problems.

If you don’t feel like you are a strong listener, there are a few things you can do to improve that. First, let her talk until she is blue in the face. Don’t consider interrupting her, even if you have questions. She may just need to let it all out. Allow her the chance to do that. When she’s done talking, you can ask her follow-up questions.

While she is talking, be sure to show active body language. Don’t roll your eyes, look at your phone, cross your arms, or look at your watch. Don’t be distracted by other things. What she has to say is most important right now. Then, you can rephrase what she’s said to make sure you understand it well and encourage her to open up even more.

Once you’ve determined what the problem is, you can try to brainstorm with her to solve it. Let her know you truly care and want to help in any way that you can. It might be a good idea to get a third person involved if you both think that might help. Be sure to comfort her while she explains everything that is going on.

How To Know If Your Words Worked On Her

1. Her confidence is boosted

Your girl may start to walk with more confidence after you have said your compliments. She may have her shoulders held back, her chest puffed up, and a smile on her face. Watch for cues like this to see if what you said worked or not. You could probably ask her if she still believes she’s not pretty, and she’ll say that she does not.

If she still has some doubts about her appearance, you should talk to her about it. Give her even more compliments to tell her how gorgeous she truly is. If she isn’t really a classic beauty, you can compliment her many other attributes - her intelligence, her stamina, her energy, her body, her street smarts, or whatever other qualities she has.

If you know that she is gorgeous, but she still doesn’t believe it, you might talk to her about the reason she believes this to be the case. Find out what is causing her to have such a low opinion of herself. Maybe encourage her to talk to a trained counselor - someone who can get to the root of the problems she is facing right now.

2. She understands that you love other qualities about her

Yeah, if your words worked, you know that she is going to fall in love with you (possibly, if you two were more than just friends). She’ll think you are the king because you found other things to love about her! Her self-esteem and self-worth will be higher, and she’ll be in a much better mood because of this. She may even be ready for a hot date with you!

If you are looking to be more than friends and your compliments landed with this girl, you should ask her out. Watch for signs that she is flirting with you. She might tug on her ear while she is talking to you, braid or twirl her hair, laugh at the things you say, or bat her eyelashes at you while you talk. She might touch your arm lightly, too!

According to the Insider, other hints of flirting might include awkward compliments, teasing, staring at you longer than usual, and raised eyebrows. If she really has started having the hots for you, she may check you out. I don’t mean a fleeting glance. I’m talking about that lingering look that makes it impossible to ignore!

3. Her self-esteem will be stronger

As mentioned, if your compliments stick, she may be overjoyed with herself. Her self-esteem will be higher, and you’ll notice a change in her attitude. She may talk with a more forceful tone and enjoy chatting non-stop. She feels confident now, and that has made her more outgoing when she’s around other people. 

Also, you may notice that she is now more assertive because she has a higher amount of self-esteem. Perhaps she will explain to you when she thinks you are being super sweet and she likes what you are doing, so you will repeat that action. Often, when we feel good about ourselves, we openly compliment others!

At the same time, she may be assertive about what she doesn’t like. If you often like to hold her hand when making love, maybe she will let you know if she actually likes this or not. If it’s something that bothers her, she’ll speak up now because she is more confident. You may notice other changes in her as well. 

Your relationship may change some if her self-esteem has improved. She may be able to make decisions by herself without you weighing in for a second opinion. This could be a really good thing if she is very indecisive. Your relationship may be healthier, too! Maybe she will have more realistic expectations and be able to communicate better.

4. She will feel better

she will feel better

If you have built up her confidence and self-esteem, there is a good chance she will be happier in life. She’ll feel better about herself and probably smile and laugh more. A happier partner typically makes for a happier relationship. I know when I am happier, I tend to share my joy with the ones I love. I want them to feel the way I do.

It’s easy to be perky and happy when you feel good about yourself, too. After all, you believe you can conquer more mountains and overcome more obstacles, so you know you are a stronger person because of it. You may notice her enjoying new hobbies and developing new passions as she changes her mood about life in general.

This could be a good or bad thing, depending on what you are wanting out of the relationship. She may get busier if she takes on more challenges or passions. If she decides to invest her time in volunteer work, she may not have as much time for you. If this concerns you, be sure to speak up and let her know you need attention.

5. She will explain why she thought she was not pretty

There’s a good chance you will get to the bottom of the mystery of why she thought she wasn’t pretty. Perhaps she will explain what is wrong or why she felt unsure about herself. This is a great thing because it means she feels comfortable with you enough to share her insecurities and uncertainties! That’s progress!

FAQs

What to say when a girl says she's not beautiful?

Let her know that appearances aren’t everything and that she is a beautiful person - inside and out. Tell her the many ways that she is beautiful. Talk about her hair, eyes, and smile. Explain the many ways that she radiates beauty! Let her know that her idea is totally crazy!

How do you convince a girl she's beautiful?

Pay her a compliment and let her know that words cannot express how beautiful she truly is. Comment on her other features, too. Looks aren’t the only thing that person has going for them. Talk about how they dress, their intelligence, and the expression of their feelings.

What to say to a girl to tell her she's beautiful?

Let her know that her looks and the way she wears a dress have blown you away! Pay her a compliment to build her confidence. Express your feelings for her and your relationship to let her know that you have no crazy ideas that her looks aren’t perfect!

Should I tell a girl she's pretty?

Girls love to hear compliments on their looks, so definitely pay her a nice compliment. Be honest with your compliments, though. Explain that you have crazy ideas of running off and marrying her because she’s so gorgeous, and she’ll be full of confidence!

What do you say to an insecure girl?

Let her know that the outside appearance doesn’t matter to you because true attraction comes from within. Let her know that you are a man who thinks she is a gorgeous woman! Compliments like that will fill her life with joy, and your words will matter!

To Sum It All Up

Have you been in relationships where someone thought they weren’t attractive? What did you say in those relationships to build the person’s self-esteem back up? What effort did you make that turned things around in those relationships? Please comment, and share this post!

Michelle Devani
My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *