How to Tell a Friend You’re Gay and You Love Them - Why You Should be Careful

Last updated on April 10, 2024 by Michelle Devani

Coming out is probably one of the hardest thing a gay should go through. It’s not as simple as it seems, because by coming out you are ready to reveal your true self to others and embrace what they think about you. Coming out doesn’t necessarily mean you have to tell everyone in the world. Even when you tell only one person, you are coming out.

Things could get more complicated when you like your own friend. You start to think how to tell a friend you’re gay and you love them. If he’s a straight gay, big chance he will run away from you, causing you to heartbroken. You need to do it smartly and carefully. Also read How to Tell If Your Gay Friend Has A Crush On You

No need to worry, you have landed yourself on the right page. We’ll going to give you the most useful advice to come out safely to your friend and tell them about your feeling. So let’s check them out.

  1. Accept Yourself Before You Expect Others Too

The way society sees homosexual as something deviant makes it hard for gay to even accept themselves. They must have gone through the stage of denial, then worrying that they are different from what the society approves.

If you are not so sure of yourself, don’t tell anyone else about your sexuality. Self-acceptance is more important, so regardless of what people might say, you know who you are and what you want. Also read  How to Talk to Your Crush If You are a Gay and He's Straight

  1. Mind the Time and Place

You can come out anywhere and anytime, but not literally anywhere and anytime. Consider the best time and place because there is no “right” way to come out. Whether it’s a big announcement or purposely let it slip in the middle of light conversation, you have to think it carefully.

If you want to come out and confess your feeling at the same, it’s probably more comfortable for you to talk with him in private. Pick the right time, place, and situation about how you will conduct your action.

  1. Talk About It in General Terms

If you’re not ready about his response, you can start by talking about gay and homosexuality in a general terms with him. You can ask about what do he think about gay, what if he has a gay friend and what if a gay like him? Also read How Should You Talk to a Friend Who’s Gay

Through his answers, you will get a big picture about how would he react when you tell him about your sexual orientation and your feeling to him. It helps you to prepare for the coming out and confession day, but it can also make you back up right away because his initial response turns out not to be very well.

  1. Think How Will You Handle His Negative Reactions

After doing the water testing above, now you have to replay and replaying again his reactions, especially if it was bad. Think about how you handle it. Are you ready if he reject you, in the worst way possible? More than that, he talks bad things about you to other person. Are you ready with all the consequences?

If he is not open with gay people, you better not confessing anything to him. Ask yourself, do you want to love and be with someone who doesn’t accept you for who you really are? Also read How to Tell Someone You're Gay Without Saying It

  1. Know When to Stop

This is another way how to tell a friend you’re gay and you love them. If he doesn’t seem to reciprocate your feeling (especially for a straight man), then try to not taking any further steps. He’s not the only person in the world, and you deserve to be with someone who truly loves you.

You may feel sad and heartbroken, but it only makes you stronger and realize that you deserve better. For real. Also read Ways to Love Yourself and Be Happy with The World

  1. Seek for Support

It’s better to tell someone who you trust and can rely on before you come out to someone you love. Go to your family or friends to find support. You could also share about your crush. Other people who cares about you helps you put things into perspective.

And when you are rejected, you know that you are loved by many. So one rejection will not crumbling your world down.

  1. Let Go

If it turns out he doesn’t like you, and even worse, he avoided you, you have to let go. Don’t think about revenge or doing anything stupid just because he doesn’t feel what you feel. Remember that you are loved. And if it’s not him, then it must be someone else.

So those are all we got about how to tell a friend you’re gay and you love them. If you have any better ideas, share with others through the comment section below.

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Michelle Devani
My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think.
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