How Should I Come Out to My Homophobic Father As Pansexual? - Make Him Understand

Last updated on June 10, 2024 by Michelle Devani

In this modern age today, homophobic is still everywhere to be found. Too many of them, in fact. Homophobic people has certain phobia to LGBTQ with their own reasons.

Even though it seems like you’re done with if you are a pansexual and having homophobic parents, you still have hope. You can go a safe environment and live as the way you truly are.

However, you probably need to come out to your parent – your father, in this case – because you don’t want to hide anymore. You want to live comfortably with your own identity. Also read How Do I Come Out As Pansexual, Even Though I Have Only Ever Publicly Identified As Straight?

But how should I come out to my homophobic father as pansexual? How should I handle the situation? In this article you will find out the best tips to deal with your homophobic parents.

  1. Listen to What He Says

As much as you don’t want to be judged by your sexuality, don’t judge his view on other sexuality as well. If they are homophobic, it means he is pretty disagree with other sexuality as well. Also read How to Tell Your Parents You're Pansexual

Instead of saying how old fashioned he is, hear out his view. You’re about to change your father’s mind here do you better do it subtly. If you radically force him to believe in what you do, you will gain nothing but a fierce family conflict.

  1. Dig Deeper Under His Thoughts

For anyone to have certain opinion about something, there must be something that cause them to. Try to find out more, getting a deeper understanding about why does he hate homosexuals that much.

He may shut you out for the first but you can always ask him again the other time.

  1. Respect His Views

Coming out to a parent who is homophobic is complicated. The process is quite long. So the next step about how should I come out to my homophobic father as pansexual is this one. Your father must have his own grounding on why he become a homophobic person.

Whatever it is, make sure you respect his value. If it’s about religious belief, he might question yours too when you come out. While respecting his value, prepare a good answer in case your father really ask you about it. Also read How to Tell Your Christian Parents You're An Atheist?

  1. Give Him a Different Perspective

Another subtle step to come out as a pan is by changing your father’s belief little by little. It won’t be as easy as changing your clothes, but this is the crucial part. Especially if your father is a traditional person who consider that sexualities other than straight is not righteous.

Rather than pushing your value too hard, show them a different perspective about your queer. Let him know why they shouldn’t be afraid of. It can be article, journal, or real life story from someone you know.

  1. Tell Him When You’re Ready

Telling your family that you are a pansexual means you don’t want to hide anymore. You’re ready to show the world who you really are, starting from your own family. Actually, there will be no right time or perfectly ready when it comes to coming out. Also read How to Tell Your Parents You are Bisexual

Tell him when you feel it’s time. If your mother is on your supportive side telling her first would be an advantage. However, mind the situation too. If your father tend to be abusive and might endanger your life when you talk about it, then don’t.

  1. Don’t Force Him to Change His Mind

By coming out you have to be ready for the consequences. Among the worst are your father freaked out, unable to accept you as you are  and even disowning you from the family.

But if you really love him and still want him to be prat of your life, reach out to him frequently. Even if he slam the door right in front of your face, don’t give up. He is your father after all. Also read How to Tell Your Parents Your LGBTQ

  1. Give Him Some Time

The reality of you coming out as pansexual must be a huge blow to your father, given the fact that he has been a homophobic all these time. To find out that his own child is a pansexual is something he never imagine in his wildest dream.

Be understanding by giving him as much time as he needs. There will be denial, rejection, and several years of no speaking terms but it will eventually gets better.

So those are all we got about how should I come out to my homophobic father as pansexual. We sincerely hope that this can be helpful for you. Don’t be afraid to show your true color because in the end we’re all human.

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Michelle Devani
My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think.
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