How Do I Come Out As Pansexual, Even Though I Have Only Ever Publicly Identified As Straight?

Last updated on February 11, 2024 by Michelle Devani

When identify your sexuality as anything but straight, coming out to be hardest thing ever. Instead of looking for recognition, you are showing your true self and in between eating all the negative comments for everyone.

Somebody who is above 20 something hardly know what pansexual is, while older generation usually identify genders as men and women. So if you’re a pan, you may ask how do I come out as pansexual, even though I have only ever publicly identified as straight. Also read How to Tell Your Parents You're Pansexual

Not your fault that people are up with presumption that everyone is straight. It’s what we’ve been taught all along, thus makes us often look down other sexualities. If you’re a pan, know that you’re not alone. At least you have Miley Cyrus as your friend.

So here we are going to give you some (hopefully) useful tips to come out as a pan, in the middle of society that has always been identify you as straight. Also read How to Tell Your Parents Your LGBTQ?

  1. Stop and Assess the Situation

Once again, you can’t go against the society. You might act and think all the way you want, but you can’t control what they think and act as well. Your family and your friends probably among those who think that you’re straight, so let’s start from them.

Coming out should be done really carefully, even if it’s to your own little family. Before doing so, stop for a while and assess the situation you’re in. Make sure your environment is safe enough for you. If there are chances for your family or friends to react negatively, you better step back for a while.

Things will be different if you’re in an open minded society that always keeping up with change and modernity, it may be safe for you to come out. Also read How to Pray for Someone Struggling with Homosexuality

  1. Assess Yourself

Not less important is the assessment of yourself. How are you comfortable with yourself, how are you sure about your identity, and how are you happy with who you are is different for everyone.

Make sure you know what you really one. Coming out is about timing and there’s no right time. You decide when is the right time. There are pans who come out to their friends when they are still struggling inside so they can struggle together, but there also pans who come out after they are all ready and set.

  1. Come Out to Supportive Circle

So here are another tips about how do I come out as pansexual, even though I have only ever publicly identified as straight. Don’t come out just to anyone because you think it’s cool to come out.

Be selective of the people you want to come out to. If your friends – or even your family – will react negatively about your identity, don’t come out to them. Also read What Do You Say to ‘That’s So Gay’ and Other Anti-LGBTQ Comments?

As the initial act, come out to those who won’t judge you negatively. You need this because you need to know that someone has your back so later when you get negative judgments you can still stay strong.

  1. Choose Your Way to Come Out

Now that technology’s around, you have bunch of ways to come out. Whether you do it on a face-to-face conversation or publicly posting a Facebook status, it’s all your independency. You can hint to others using pansexual symbol as well.

But for a start, it’s better to opted for the first one. Since you never know how will everybody react, it’s good enough for water testing.

  1. Make a Perfect Plan

Even though coming out is something you can’t plan at times – in fact, you might do it impulsively and spontaneously – it will be helpful to make one in advance. However, it’s almost impossible to plan it into detail.

But at least you know when, where, and to whom you will come out. Most importantly, how will you let word out of your mouth? Also read Signs of a Guy Being Gay

By letting it naturally slip between conversation or bringing out the speech intentionally? Or probably you start it out by joke or want it to be serious?

  1. Give Them Time to Absorb the Reality

For you who have been identify yourself as pansexual, the idea of many genders must not be something new to you. However for others who have been thinking you’re straight – regardless of them knowing about pansexual or not – imagine how surprise they will be.

Be understanding that they probably need time to accept your identity as well.

So those are everything we got about how do I come out as pansexual, even though I have only ever publicly identified as straight. We hope that this article could help and encourage you to come out.

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Michelle Devani
My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think.
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