Signs She Wants A Relationship But Is Scared (33 Not-so-Obvious Signs)

Last updated on May 14, 2024 by Michelle Devani

Are you wondering whether the woman you’re pursuing wants a relationship?

Do you feel like she wants to become your girlfriend, but is scared of hinting that this is the case?

Maybe she’s been hurt by her previous boyfriend, or she is just utterly terrified that you’ll reject her if she asked you for a committed relationship?

Whether you want to be this woman’s boyfriend or not, it’s important to know the truth about what she wants. 

This puts you in a much better position to set the expectations in a way that isn’t hurtful or disrespectful.

You don’t want to hurt this woman, right? 

Then, I’d urge you to read on, because I’ve listed the most common clues that a woman wants a relationship and she’s telling you. 

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If she’s not using dating apps or communicating with tons of other men, that’s the clearest possible sign that she wants to commit. This tracker tool will let you know whether she’s doing that within seconds.

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Nevertheless, if you don’t want to use this tool, there are behavioral signs that she secretly wants to be in a relationship.

Have a read through the list below - and make a mental note of any signs you’ve seen. That’ll give you a good clue about how she feels about you.


33 Signs She Wants A Relationship But Is Scared

It’s one thing to find a girl you like and would want to date, but it’s another thing to be sure that she’s also ready to be in a relationship with you. A girl may like you, but it doesn’t mean she’s comfortable enough to date you for certain reasons. 

There are many reasons and fears that prevent women from falling in love. It could be a traumatic childhood experience, bad previous relationships, uncertainty about what would happen in the relationship, or a few insecurities about herself. Sometimes, it could also be a mental health problem.

Apart from making them feel weak, helpless, and vulnerable, falling in love is a huge part of their lives. If anything goes bad during that period, whether it’s the man’s fault or not, it ruins them. This is why some women leave their guard up even when a guy claims to love them.

After all said, there’s no point blaming any woman who looks like she’s scared of dating you even when she wants to. But, what are the signs to look out for? Keep reading to know 33 signs a woman wants a relationship but is scared to date. 

1. She’ll reach out to check up on you

Not every woman feels comfortable reaching out to a man first, except she has a soft spot for you. She'll call to check up on you, whether you call her or not, or you both have nothing to say.

She’ll send messages just to say hi even if there's nothing more to say. If you don't answer your calls, she'll try again much later. That's how you know when a woman likes you.

2. You’ll get nice compliments from her

When you get compliments from someone, it means the person has a special interest in you. The same thing applies to a lady who’s into you. She’ll compliment your outfit and general appearance. 

It’s even more obvious when the compliments are detailed and for things that people rarely notice. She could easily ignore them, but she wants you to know she finds that thing attractive. It’s one of the signs she loves you.

3. Her friends will hear and know about you

her friends will hear and know about you

A girl would only stop herself from telling her friends about you if she doesn’t like you. She could brush off their teases about you. If a girl likes you, telling them would not be a big deal. That’s because most girls like to analyze their crushes. 

She may share her worries and she will tell them about your personality. If she’s looking for encouragement from her friends to know if you’re the perfect person for her to date, she would say many things about you.

4. She’ll want to know every detail about you

If you’re into a woman and she wants to know every detail about you, that’s a clear sign that she’s into you, but afraid of going into a relationship. She’ll ask you about your hobbies, the kind of music you like, or your favorite meal.

She won’t only ask about those personal details, she’ll remember them. That’s because she’s interested in knowing everything about you compared to other people. This is a good sign that she wants a relationship, but she’s scared to show it.

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5. She’ll offer help whenever you need some

Not everyone is good with using words to express their feelings. When you observe a woman being so happy to help whenever you need or ask, it’s one of the signs she loves you. No woman who has no true feelings would ignore you in need.

Except it’s something she can’t handle, then she could ask someone to help her help you. She may also be worried when you haven’t solved the problem. This is when you know it’s true love even when she is scared to admit it. 

6. Rumors about you two dating will spread

People notice things from afar and they know when two people have true emotions for each other. Whether you both decide to start a new relationship immediately or take things slow, they already know you have an emotional connection.

If she doesn’t try to fight these rumors or make any negative comments about them, blushes whenever she hears them, or tries to escape the discussion, that’s because she’s afraid to be in a relationship, but she wants it.

7. She’ll ask for your advice

One of the most obvious signs that a woman wants a relationship, but is afraid to admit it is when she keeps asking you for advice. It doesn’t matter if it has to do with her personal life, career, or a random conversation, she’ll trust you.

This is what many women do. They claim they’re not interested in you, but would cry and run to you at every slightest mistake they make or advice they need. This is how you know a woman has a fear of relationships but wants one.

8. You’ll observe that she’ll avoid commitment talks

Until she says she’s ready for a committed relationship, a woman would avoid any conversation like that or having a deeper level of emotions with you. She may have feelings and see you as a good guy, but still scared of a relationship.

You could flow when talking about other things like politics, sports, education, career, or telling random jokes, but not commitment. That’s one of the signs she loves you but is scared or not just ready to date.

9. She won’t have time for other guys interested in a relationship

When a woman claims she’s tired of relationships, and would not want to date another guy, but sticks around you, it’s one of the signs she loves you. You’ll notice how uninterested she’ll be when you talk about other guys or ask her to join dating apps.

If you fall in love with a lady and she does this, it could be one of the signs she wants a relationship but is afraid to admit it. Don’t be scared to look out for this. It’s one of the ways you can find out.

10. Your interests and issues will become hers

your interests and issues will become hers

If a woman doesn’t like you, there’s nothing you can do to get her attention. If she does, she’ll make sure she keeps track of your daily life. She’ll constantly ask you to tell her a breakdown of your day.

She’ll find out solutions before you even think about them, speak to people who can help you, and cheer you up if you’re hurt from any setback. This is one of the signs she loves you but has a fear of relationships.

11. She’ll try not to be too expressive

A woman feels open enough to express her feelings when she’s in a relationship with a guy. But, when she’s not, she may not shout, get angry, or scold him for making wrong decisions. She would take things easy.

No matter how hurt she is or how wild her emotions are, she’ll try to keep them tamed. That’s because she doesn’t want to ruin her friendship with him even if she has the fear of going into a relationship with him.

12. Her words will not match her actions

Of all the signs, body language is one of the greatest signs that sends a clear message to people. A woman who is in denial of her love for you would say something different and act contrary to those words.

She could make you believe that starting a new love life is uncharted territory but would keep talking about couples who do things together. This is another sign of a woman's love for you, but not ready to date.

13. She’ll be nervous about certain topics and conversations

If a woman constantly gets nervous or uncomfortable when you talk about certain topics, she may have feelings for you. Watch out for any talk that has to do with marriage, love, and your blissful previous relationships. 

Observe her when you bring up topics about dating other girls in the future. If her countenance changes during conversations like this, it means she likes you but is scared to date. It’s a body language you should look out for.

14. You notice her asking you questions about your past relationships

Nobody really cares about another person’s or other people’s past love lives, except there’s information they’re interested in. if you’re talking to a woman and she keeps asking about your past relationships, it’s one of the signs she loves you.

She’ll ask for specific details and may want to talk about all the things you experienced when you were in them. This is how you know when a lady likes you but is afraid to accept it.

15. There would be nice intimacy

There's no way you'll relate with a woman you have strong feelings for, without going intimate. It could be cuddling, kissing, sex, or something of sort. You would feel the connection.

She could even lay naked with you and not feel exposed. If you're in love with a lady and you’re sure she loves you too but is in denial that she's scared to be in a relationship, a nice intimacy will prove this.

16. She’ll get upset when you don’t reach out to check up on her

Imagine staying a day without reaching out to a woman who doesn't love you. It won't make a difference. But, try it with a woman who has a soft spot for you. Hell would break loose for you and everyone around you.

She could mistakenly say things to hurt you, unconsciously. From her tone and reaction, you would know if she's into you, but just afraid to take a step, or she would rather be without you in her life. So, observe this to be sure.

17. You both will talk every day

you both will talk every day

When a woman likes you, she'll get fond of you. She'll get used to calling or texting you all the time. You'll get updates from her about things you don't even need to know.

If you skip any day without communicating with her, it would feel like an unfulfilled day for her. This is one of the signs that a woman likes you but is scared of being in a relationship.

18. She’ll ask you to join her for an event

People like going to events with other people that they want to be seen with. This means that if a lady likes you, she’ll feel confident to ask you to go to an event with her. It could be a friend’s wedding.

She could also invite you to join her for drinks with friends or other family members. This is one of the signs you could use to know when a woman likes you but is scared to date.

19. You’ll know about her past without even asking

When a woman is comfortable with you, you won’t need to force words from her mouth. She’ll tell you about her previous experiences without you asking about it. She’ll be free with you.

Even if you want to change the topic to a different one, she’ll always come back to it. If you give a negative reaction, she could feel bad for it. This is how you know when a woman likes you, but is scared to show it.

20. She’ll get jealous when you relate with other women

You don’t even need to stress about seeing this sign. You’ll notice it from her tone when you tell her about other girls. Whether the lady you’re talking about is a colleague or close friend, she’ll get jealous.

She may unconsciously start talking about them rudely, or acting nonchalant and uninterested when you mention it. If a woman does this, it’s one of the good signs she loves you, but is scared to admit it.

21. There would be nice late-night conversations

Late-night phone calls and messages are inevitable when a woman likes you and is willing to stay up late for you. She would do this without any stress. The day you don't, things would feel strange.

She'll feel like the day is not complete and you'll feel this from her tone. Late-night calls and texts are a big thing for some people. This is how you know if a woman likes you, but is scared.

22. She’ll tease you often

Teases come only when someone is comfortable with you, knowing that they're sure you won't see their teases as being offensive. If you have a special feature, a lady who likes you would do you the honor of teasing you. 

It could be your nose, ears, or eyes. It could also be the way you talk or a specific exclamation. This is one of the good signs to know when a lady likes you, but is scared of dating.

23. Your sense of humor will make sense to her

Women love a great sense of humor, especially from guys they like. They could laugh all day, especially when the jokes are funny. When a woman likes you, she’ll appreciate your jokes.

She could go as far as bringing up previous ones from the past to laugh over and over again. If you notice this often, as simple as it may sound, she may be in love with you, but scared to admit it. 

24. She wants to know how you feel about her

Every woman wants you to assure her, whether you’re both going to date or not. They want to know how you rate them in your life. This may sound unfair, but it’s reality. They want you to say sweet words and tease them.

The same thing applies to a woman who likes you but is scared to accept it. She wants to constantly hear how you feel about her in many ways. If you stop, she may begin to feel weird about it.

25. You’ll also know by the way she touches you

Physical contact is one thing you could use to know when a woman likes you but is scared to admit it. If you find her unconsciously holding hands with you, pinching your cheeks, or holding you in a romantic way, that’s one of the signs she loves you.

She may only deny if she feels like you’ll hurt her if she goes into a relationship with her. It could also be fear of something else that she may or may not know. But, you could look out for this sign.

26. She may want to know about your family

she may want to know about your family

It’s normal for a woman who likes you to want to know about your family. She may not want to meet them but could ask questions about them. She’ll want to know how lovely and nice your childhood was.

She could also ask for pictures to have a clearer mental picture of how they look. From her questions, you could pick a clue. This is how you know when a woman likes you, but is scared of a relationship.

27. If she likes you, she’ll make friends with your friends

If you’re a guy who has some close friends or loved ones who are dear to you, you fall in love with a woman, and she knows about them, she’ll want to make friends with them too. She won’t force herself but do it naturally.

Your inner circle will become hers, whether it’s your close friends, family members, or work colleagues. The only thing is, she may not allow you to relate with hers that way. This is one of the signs she loves you but is scared to accept it.

28. You’ll both have nice eye contact

When there’s good eye contact between two people, it means many things. It could mean someone is in love, lustful, angry, or impressed about the other’s actions. But it’s a major way of communication

So, if she maintains eye contact continuously, it’s one of the obvious signs that she likes you, but is scared to admit it. If she doesn’t, she’ll avoid eye contact. That's one of the signs she loves you, but is scared of being in a relationship.

29. She won’t go too deep into conversations

You could talk with a woman for hours and she’ll enjoy it, but when you observe that she avoids deep conversations, it could be fear of something. Maybe she has trust issues, or afraid she’s going in the wrong direction.

It could be past hurt or fear of talking about things she doesn’t feel secure talking about. If this happens over and over again, it's one of the signs she loves you, but is still scared to be in a relationship.

30. Because of fear, she’ll contradict herself

When a lady is in love with you but is scared to accept it, she could have a lot of emotions buried in her. Because that fear is conflicting with those emotions, she’ll always contradict herself.

You’ll hear her say things like, “I’m over romantic relationships,” but she’ll watch romantic movies and respond to them in a very emotional way. Or, “I can’t stress over a guy I won't date,” but will be the first to worry about your issues.

31. She’ll want to spend more time with you, but avoid it

No matter what happens, a woman who likes you will always feel good spending some time with you. If she likes you and is scared of going into a relationship, she’ll avoid seeing you often even when she can’t resist it.

She may not be busy but will make excuses about why she can’t be with you physically, or why she can’t hang out with you. This is one of the good signs she loves you but doesn’t want to accept it anytime soon.

32. She’ll get easily emotional about things

she'll get easily emotional about things

One thing about a woman who likes you, but is scared to accept it is, she’ll expect you to know and understand her feelings without her having to say a word. When you don't do this, it's a problem.

She’ll make it look like you hurt her or you don’t regard her in any way. So, she could start sulking unconsciously. This is one of the signs she loves you, but is not ready to accept the truth.

33. Be ready to experience her over-protectiveness

Have you ever heard of a lady being overprotective? She’ll ask questions about different people you meet, your relationships with them, and how much time you spend talking to them.

She’ll tend to lash out on people she doesn’t want close to you, unconsciously. If you ask her, she may deny it. If she does this, it’s one of the signs she wants you, but can’t say it.


How do you tell if a girl is scared of her feelings for you?

She’ll do her best to be emotionally distant. If you’ve been having deep conversations, she may start avoiding you for some time. When you try to be nice to her, she may start rejecting some of your kind gestures. This is how you know when a girl is scared of her feelings for you.

How do you tell if she wants a relationship with you?

A girl who wants to be in a relationship with you would be comfortable whenever you spend time together. Her body language will show that she wants more than friendship from you. She’ll be ready to help whenever you need her. Your jokes will always get to her, no matter how simple they are.

How do you tell if she has feelings for you?

If a girl has feelings for you, she’ll do any and everything she can to make you happy. She’ll always want to be around you. Also, whenever she’s with you, she’ll be touchy-feely. Her affairs would be hers and she’ll try to make sure you both work out. She’ll blush at the slightest jokes you make.

How do you know if a girl is not serious about you?

A girl who’s unserious about you will rarely pick up your calls, respond to your messages, or reach out to you. She won’t pay attention to details about you and she’ll take everything you say as a joke. Except she has self-control, she may not regard you as an important person in her life.

How do you get a girl to admit her feelings?

One of the most major ways to get a girl to admit her feelings is by asking her to go out with you on a date. If she accepts, that’s a way of saying she may have feelings for you. You could also ask her directly. These may not be easy to do, but they will help clarify things.

In Conclusion

Is there any girl who you're sure is into you, but you're not sure if she's afraid of accepting her feelings for you, or not? You can refer back to the 33 signs I've mentioned. I hope this article helped. If it did, please drop a comment, and share it with others.

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Michelle Devani
My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think.

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