103 Bad Words To Hurt A Girl

by Michelle Devani

The thing about words (especially harmful ones), is that they seldom stay with the speaker. Like fireworks, they burn high and bright in the heat of the moment and die there for many people. Unfortunately, it works quite differently for the people on the receiving end.

Nevertheless, people who intentionally choose to hurt another person with their choice of words know the exact impact it’s going to have. It’s even more painful when it comes from someone you care about. 

Friends say some things that hurt each other’s feelings when upset, or use foul language more when they want their words to sting. 

I guess it doesn’t come as much of a surprise then that negative words dominate language instead of positive statements or things. Still, if you were wondering what to say to a girl that’s almost guaranteed to hurt her feelings, here are 103 examples.

103 Bad Words To Hurt A Girl

  • “Dumb.”

No one enjoys being called dumb, but it not only hurts a girl more coming from a person she likes, it also stays with her for a long time.

  • “Cheap.”
cheap

Whether you mean that in terms of money or her sex life, being called cheap is painful to hear, period.

  • “Slut.”

Ladies playfully call each other slut for fun nowadays, but that doesn’t mean they want to hear it from a guy.

  • “Loose.”

This is another disapproving and derogatory language, it’s simply another way of calling a girl a hoe, slut, whore, etc.

  • “Attention whore.”

She doesn’t have to sleep around to find the word ‘whore’ hurtful. Shaming her for trying too hard to attract attention can have the same effect. 

  • “Ugly.”

Regardless of how strong her sense of self is, being called ugly by the opposite sex hurts a lot. Even if it’s for fun.

  • “Loser.”

Even the highest achiever in the room has moments of self-doubt. Imagine how bad that can make someone feel if they think other people think of them that way too.

  • “Freak.”

Calling a girl a freak either suggests that she’s physically deformed or so obsessed with something it looks like an addiction. Both instances hurt.

  • “Fat.”

There’s nothing constructive in telling a girl she’s gained weight in a manner that blunt. It’s worse if she likes you, that seemingly harmless information might make her self-conscious for life.

  • “Bitch.”

Bitch is an insult to women, whether she is your boss, girlfriend, sister, or friend. It’s a way to call someone aggressive, bossy, unreasonable, or just nasty.

  • “Nag.”

This is more painful when used during an argument or conversation about things in her life that are obviously important to her. 

  • “Lazy.”

Being called lazy by someone whose opinions matter to you is not only painful to hear, but it’s also a quick way to lower a person’s self-esteem.

  • “Hormonal.”

“Is it that time of the month already?” and its variants are upsetting because they’re incredibly reductive of women. 

  • “Dirty”

As in unclean and filthy, not the good kind we sometimes use in the bedroom.

  • “Dry”

Whether you say it about her behavior or personality, being called boring or dry isn’t exactly a compliment.

  • “Gold-digger”

Implying that she’s only ever after the money is not nice to hear, especially when she expects better from you.

  • “Fake.”

If you want to end up in a woman’s black book for life, call her fake.

  • “Why can’t you be more like your friend?”

You’ve probably heard never to compare your partner to other people. But to now use her friend?

  • “Why can’t we be fun like this other couple?”

Likewise, comparing your relationship with another couple who seem to be doing better is a no-no. It’s one way to make her feel inadequate.

  • “You’re just a girl.”
you're just a girl

Telling someone they can’t do something because ‘it’s a man’s job’ is not right, especially when said in that tone.

  • “I’m sorry but…”

The ‘but’ invalidates the apology, and that hurts because you’re obviously not sorry.

  • “I do but…”

Similarly, ‘I do’ doesn’t quite have the effect it should when that word ‘but’ follows. 

  • “I’m moving out of town, I think we should break up.”

Springing two huge news on one person in one breath with no prior notice? Now that’s mean.

  • “Shut up!”

It is rude to shut someone up while they’re still talking but even worse when you yell it.

  • “You just don’t do it for me anymore.”

Ouch. You’re essentially saying she isn’t good enough for you anymore.

  • “Snap out of it.”

This can be helpful in some instances, but it hurts when you use it to dismiss someone’s feelings.

  • “I hate you.”

Words that convey extremely negative emotions are not fun to hear, I’ll tell you that.

  • “I don't hate you, I'm just done with you.”

But then again, hearing someone say they hate you isn’t quite as painful as when they just don’t care anymore.

  • “You’re not my mother!”

Listen, in case you didn’t know, I think I speak for all women when I say we hate that line.

  • “Whatever.”

“Whatever, really? That’s all you have to say?” is the natural reaction that one word elicits in us.

  • “Can you do something right for once?”

If you mean to suggest that she has never done anything right before, this phrase covers it.

  • “You disgust me.”

Ah, this is just terrible. Too bad to use on a person at all, let alone loosely.

  • “Who will want you now?”

Like she’s some sort of damaged good no one would ever move to? If you mess with someone’s self-esteem with words like this, that would be a really low move.

  • “Midget.”

This is an insult to not just the person you’re saying it to, but to actual people out there who get treated differently just because of their height.

  • “Too tall.”

Calling someone too tall because she’s female is a bad move.

  • “Hysterical.”

This is often used interchangeably with hormonal for women.

  • “Calm down.”
calm down

If you’ve ever been told to calm down during an argument when all you did was try to be heard, you know how it feels to hear it.

  • “Try-hard.”

This word implies that she isn’t good enough to be where she is. Imagine people calling you that?

  • “Crazy”

Calling a person crazy as an insult still hurts even though we play with the word a lot.

  • “Skinny.”

Body-shaming isn’t cool whether you’re calling someone fat or skinny. Don’t tell her to eat more unless you’re deliberately trying to be an ass. 

  • “Heartless.”

Calling her heartless because of a decision she made in a situation that’s obviously out of her hands is just mean.

  • “Useless.”

Useless is a pretty cruel word to use for a person and should be reserved for a government that deserves it.

  • “Prude.”

Calling someone prude because their lifestyle doesn’t match yours is juvenile but still painful.

  • “Killjoy.”

Another way to call her a prude.

  • “Goody two-shoes.”

Want to leave her wondering what guys really want? Words like Goody two-shoes and Mrs. Grundy ought to do it.

  • “Uptight.”

 Ouch, that hurts.

  • “Stuck-up.”

Calling her stuck-up without ever trying to find out her reasons for staying aloof is terrible. 

  • “Dyke.”

This term is homophobic, misogynistic, and all-around derogatory to use on a woman. 

  • “Weirdo”

She probably feels different from other people already, calling her weirdo will only upset her and make her withdraw even further.

  • “Nerd”

I don’t even get how being brilliant became an insult but then the way you say it also counts.

  • “That’s why nobody likes you.”

Don’t be the reason someone thinks this about themself.

  • “You are a terrible person.”

This would hit harder if the recipient has feelings for you or respects you enough to value your opinion of them.

  • “You messed up again.”

‘Again’ means you’ve been keeping a score of her mess-ups. Less heavy words have kept people down mentally.

  • “You have issues.”

Who doesn’t, right? But that doesn’t mean we want to go around hearing about it from people.

  • “What is it this time?”

This says “it’s always something with you,” or any other thing that suggests your patience is wearing thin.

  • “I’m tired of your sh!t.”

It’s just as bad when you come right out and say it.

  • “Your ex was right.”

It would hurt to see a man I confided in about something hurtful, throw it back in my face.

  • “What was I thinking getting involved with you?”

Wow. That’s the first thing I would say, and it wouldn’t be because of enthusiasm.

  • “I regret ever _______ you.”

Fill that gap with loving, marrying, sleeping with, and you get the same reaction: hurt.

  • “You are just a failure.”
you are just a failure

As normal as failure is, we still feel terrible when it happens to us. However, it’s a different kind of hurt when people around us define us by them.

  • “You’re overreacting.”

This information hurts in the same way that calling a woman hormonal does. 

  • “You are pathetic.”

This is up there among words that would definitely be too painful to hear for anyone.

  • “You are just like every other girl.”

While this would ordinarily not be an insult, it can be if you present it maliciously.

  • “I’d rather eat sand than spend one more day with you.”

This is a loaded statement in any situation, but saying it to a lady who’s trying to get back together with you might ruin her.

  • “Beauty really isn’t everything.”

The annoying part is nobody said it was, but when you act like something she did disillusion you, it doesn’t feel good.

  • “You’ve taught me everything I don’t want in a girl.”

Break this out when you’re trying to be mean to an ex-girlfriend.

  • “You are just being dramatic.”

This is offensive because it totally dismisses the reason for the ‘drama’ and just aims to make her feel bad.

  • “You’re gonna eat all that?”

Many women are naturally conscious of their body and what they eat, so statements like this can be embarrassing, to say the least. 

  • “That’s not very ladylike.”

You can also try picking on everything she does and making her feel like less of a ‘lady’ every chance you get.

  • “At least I’m not a/an ______ like you.”

Judgmental, petty, small, and similar adjectives define men who talk to women like this cause it truly hurts.

  • “You are too sensitive.”

Telling someone to put a lid on their emotions on account of being overly sensitive is the worst.

  • “Insensitive.”

On the other hand, telling people they aren’t female-enough because they don’t show ‘feminine care’ is just as bad. 

  • “Are you done?”

This is one of those words we use without even knowing their effect on the recipient.

  • “Don’t flatter yourself.”

While we use this without spiteful intent sometimes, it can also imply that the person is overestimating their worth.

  • “I deserve better than you.”

This may be the truth, but that doesn’t make it easy to hear.

  • “You think you can do better than me? Lol”

This, on the other hand, is condescending and shows that you think very little of the recipient and way too highly of yourself.

  • “Slow”

There’s nothing positive about calling people slow or retarded, male or female.

  • “You look fine for your age.”

Believe it or not, this is not a compliment.

  • “I’m a man, you’ve gotta respect me.”
i'm a man, you've gotta respect me

If I were friends with a guy who thinks he deserves respect just because of his gender, I’d be pained for even knowing him.

  • “You try, you’re just not it.”

Acknowledging that they try but will never be enough nonetheless makes it even harder to hear.

  • “You are ok.”

Context obviously matters here. If the height of your compliment for a woman is always that she’s ok (read: average), you’re already doing a good job of hurting her.

  • “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Gaslighting is so terrible that experts call it a form of emotional abuse.

  • “Jeez, relax a little.”

Aka, you’re uptight. I don’t care if it’s the truth or not, it’s harsh.

  • “I honestly don’t give a f*ck.”

I’d take someone telling me point blank that they hate me over indifference any day.

  • "You're going to make some guy very lucky one day."

Might as well add the ‘but not me.’

  • "You're not my type."

This is certainly not the worst thing to say to someone. Some even call it kind compared to the alternative. Still, it hurts to hear.

  • "Act your age."

Age is always a sensitive topic, whether you’re asking or forcing it on someone.

  • "You're not all that. I lied."

The joke’s on you, though, because she’ll get over the heartache you cause and find out that she’s all that and more.

  • "I'm in love with your friend."
i'm in love with your friend

Imagine someone you’re dating comes up to you and tells you this?

  • “Bitter feminist.”

Though feminists own this narrative, some people still get off on calling women bitter when they aren’t ‘being a sweetie.’

  • “You’re a lady, act like it.”

You have no right to tell a person how to act, FYI. But then, that doesn’t mean being rebuked like that won’t get to her.

  • “My ex was a lot more ______ than you.”

Being compared to your ex would hurt her and most likely make her leave you.

  • “You’re just like your mother.”

This is a low-low, especially if she told you stuff about her mom in confidence.

  • “Who hurt you?”

Probably you, or your kind, but try asking anyway.

  • “You _____ like a boy.”

This would hit just about as much as being told you ‘walk’ like a girl.

  • “Don’t be such a brat.”

Another way of saying you’re overreacting, hormonal, a drama queen, etc.

  • “It’s just sex, take a chill pill.”

This is like telling her to calm down but worse.

  • “Stay away from me.”

Even if you don’t mean permanently, being asked to be left alone by someone you care about can feel harsh. 

  • “You are worthless to me now.”

Might as well leave it at ‘you are worthless’ and just own your heartlessness.

  • “You are so stupid.”

I’m sure this needs no explanation.

  • “I’m so disappointed in you.”
i'm so disappointed in you

Expressing disappointment in what your partner did is not the worst thing, but directing it at them directly? That’s mean.

  • “You are an embarrassment.”

Sigh. If you had even the faintest idea of how damaging these four words can be, you wouldn’t use them.

  • Nothing.

“Harsh words can hurt one's feelings, but silence breaks your heart.”

FAQs

What are some hurtful words?

The following are some hurtful words you should avoid saying to people: wimp, whore, slut, gay, dyke, retarded, stupid, dumb, try-hard, useless, worthless, midget, weirdo, etc. Phrases like shut up, you’re not enough/pathetic/a failure also fall within the category.

How can I forget a hurtful word?

You can consciously remind yourself that you are not what other people say you are and find one positive word for each negative one. It can also help to write the words on a piece of paper and burn it.

What to say to someone who is hurting?

Acknowledge their pain and empathize with them. Assure them you will try to be there for them as much as they need in this difficult period, so they know they’re not alone. Encourage them to talk about it if they want but don’t force it. Finally, if you don’t know what to say, just listen.

How do you get over a girl that hurts you?

You can start by removing yourself from situations that put you in the same place, if possible. If not, keep your contact with her to needs-only. Give yourself some time to grieve your relationship. Talk to your loved ones about your feelings and try to socialize more.

Do words really hurt?

Like a dagger to the heart, yes, words hurt. They stay with you long after the person who said them might have forgotten. A single statement can have an impact so profound on you that it affects you for as long as you live.

To End Things Off,

I understand some of the points here aren’t exactly new information, but like I said, the tone matters just as much, if not more than the words themselves. There’s hardly any excuse to be unkind, so even if you must use this, do it sparingly. If you liked this article, kindly leave a comment and share it with others.

Michelle Devani
My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think.

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