The thing about words (especially harmful ones), is that they seldom stay with the speaker. Like fireworks, they burn high and bright in the heat of the moment and die there for many people. Unfortunately, it works quite differently for the people on the receiving end.
Nevertheless, people who intentionally choose to hurt another person with their choice of words know the exact impact it’s going to have. It’s even more painful when it comes from someone you care about.
Friends say some things that hurt each other’s feelings when upset, or use foul language more when they want their words to sting.
I guess it doesn’t come as much of a surprise then that negative words dominate language instead of positive statements or things. Still, if you were wondering what to say to a girl that’s almost guaranteed to hurt her feelings, here are 103 examples.
No one enjoys being called dumb, but it not only hurts a girl more coming from a person she likes, it also stays with her for a long time.
Whether you mean that in terms of money or her sex life, being called cheap is painful to hear, period.
Ladies playfully call each other slut for fun nowadays, but that doesn’t mean they want to hear it from a guy.
This is another disapproving and derogatory language, it’s simply another way of calling a girl a hoe, slut, whore, etc.
She doesn’t have to sleep around to find the word ‘whore’ hurtful. Shaming her for trying too hard to attract attention can have the same effect.
Regardless of how strong her sense of self is, being called ugly by the opposite sex hurts a lot. Even if it’s for fun.
Even the highest achiever in the room has moments of self-doubt. Imagine how bad that can make someone feel if they think other people think of them that way too.
Calling a girl a freak either suggests that she’s physically deformed or so obsessed with something it looks like an addiction. Both instances hurt.
There’s nothing constructive in telling a girl she’s gained weight in a manner that blunt. It’s worse if she likes you, that seemingly harmless information might make her self-conscious for life.
Bitch is an insult to women, whether she is your boss, girlfriend, sister, or friend. It’s a way to call someone aggressive, bossy, unreasonable, or just nasty.
This is more painful when used during an argument or conversation about things in her life that are obviously important to her.
Being called lazy by someone whose opinions matter to you is not only painful to hear, but it’s also a quick way to lower a person’s self-esteem.
“Is it that time of the month already?” and its variants are upsetting because they’re incredibly reductive of women.
As in unclean and filthy, not the good kind we sometimes use in the bedroom.
Whether you say it about her behavior or personality, being called boring or dry isn’t exactly a compliment.
Implying that she’s only ever after the money is not nice to hear, especially when she expects better from you.
If you want to end up in a woman’s black book for life, call her fake.
You’ve probably heard never to compare your partner to other people. But to now use her friend?
Likewise, comparing your relationship with another couple who seem to be doing better is a no-no. It’s one way to make her feel inadequate.
Telling someone they can’t do something because ‘it’s a man’s job’ is not right, especially when said in that tone.
Do you feel like he kind of takes you for granted?
Unfortunately this is one of the most frequent complaints we get from our readers, where they feel they aren't a priority for their boyfriend or husband. They always seem to have some excuse as to why they can't spend some quality time with you like they used to.
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The ‘but’ invalidates the apology, and that hurts because you’re obviously not sorry.
Similarly, ‘I do’ doesn’t quite have the effect it should when that word ‘but’ follows.
Springing two huge news on one person in one breath with no prior notice? Now that’s mean.
It is rude to shut someone up while they’re still talking but even worse when you yell it.
Ouch. You’re essentially saying she isn’t good enough for you anymore.
This can be helpful in some instances, but it hurts when you use it to dismiss someone’s feelings.
Words that convey extremely negative emotions are not fun to hear, I’ll tell you that.
But then again, hearing someone say they hate you isn’t quite as painful as when they just don’t care anymore.
Listen, in case you didn’t know, I think I speak for all women when I say we hate that line.
“Whatever, really? That’s all you have to say?” is the natural reaction that one word elicits in us.
If you mean to suggest that she has never done anything right before, this phrase covers it.
Ah, this is just terrible. Too bad to use on a person at all, let alone loosely.
Like she’s some sort of damaged good no one would ever move to? If you mess with someone’s self-esteem with words like this, that would be a really low move.
This is an insult to not just the person you’re saying it to, but to actual people out there who get treated differently just because of their height.
Calling someone too tall because she’s female is a bad move.
This is often used interchangeably with hormonal for women.
If you’ve ever been told to calm down during an argument when all you did was try to be heard, you know how it feels to hear it.
This word implies that she isn’t good enough to be where she is. Imagine people calling you that?
Calling a person crazy as an insult still hurts even though we play with the word a lot.
Body-shaming isn’t cool whether you’re calling someone fat or skinny. Don’t tell her to eat more unless you’re deliberately trying to be an ass.
Calling her heartless because of a decision she made in a situation that’s obviously out of her hands is just mean.
Useless is a pretty cruel word to use for a person and should be reserved for a government that deserves it.
Calling someone prude because their lifestyle doesn’t match yours is juvenile but still painful.
Another way to call her a prude.
Want to leave her wondering what guys really want? Words like Goody two-shoes and Mrs. Grundy ought to do it.
Ouch, that hurts.
Calling her stuck-up without ever trying to find out her reasons for staying aloof is terrible.
This term is homophobic, misogynistic, and all-around derogatory to use on a woman.
She probably feels different from other people already, calling her weirdo will only upset her and make her withdraw even further.
I don’t even get how being brilliant became an insult but then the way you say it also counts.
Don’t be the reason someone thinks this about themself.
This would hit harder if the recipient has feelings for you or respects you enough to value your opinion of them.
‘Again’ means you’ve been keeping a score of her mess-ups. Less heavy words have kept people down mentally.
Who doesn’t, right? But that doesn’t mean we want to go around hearing about it from people.
This says “it’s always something with you,” or any other thing that suggests your patience is wearing thin.
It’s just as bad when you come right out and say it.
It would hurt to see a man I confided in about something hurtful, throw it back in my face.
Wow. That’s the first thing I would say, and it wouldn’t be because of enthusiasm.
Fill that gap with loving, marrying, sleeping with, and you get the same reaction: hurt.
As normal as failure is, we still feel terrible when it happens to us. However, it’s a different kind of hurt when people around us define us by them.
This information hurts in the same way that calling a woman hormonal does.
This is up there among words that would definitely be too painful to hear for anyone.
While this would ordinarily not be an insult, it can be if you present it maliciously.
This is a loaded statement in any situation, but saying it to a lady who’s trying to get back together with you might ruin her.
The annoying part is nobody said it was, but when you act like something she did disillusion you, it doesn’t feel good.
Break this out when you’re trying to be mean to an ex-girlfriend.
This is offensive because it totally dismisses the reason for the ‘drama’ and just aims to make her feel bad.
Many women are naturally conscious of their body and what they eat, so statements like this can be embarrassing, to say the least.
You can also try picking on everything she does and making her feel like less of a ‘lady’ every chance you get.
Judgmental, petty, small, and similar adjectives define men who talk to women like this cause it truly hurts.
Telling someone to put a lid on their emotions on account of being overly sensitive is the worst.
On the other hand, telling people they aren’t female-enough because they don’t show ‘feminine care’ is just as bad.
This is one of those words we use without even knowing their effect on the recipient.
While we use this without spiteful intent sometimes, it can also imply that the person is overestimating their worth.
This may be the truth, but that doesn’t make it easy to hear.
This, on the other hand, is condescending and shows that you think very little of the recipient and way too highly of yourself.
There’s nothing positive about calling people slow or retarded, male or female.
Believe it or not, this is not a compliment.
If I were friends with a guy who thinks he deserves respect just because of his gender, I’d be pained for even knowing him.
Acknowledging that they try but will never be enough nonetheless makes it even harder to hear.
Context obviously matters here. If the height of your compliment for a woman is always that she’s ok (read: average), you’re already doing a good job of hurting her.
Gaslighting is so terrible that experts call it a form of emotional abuse.
Aka, you’re uptight. I don’t care if it’s the truth or not, it’s harsh.
I’d take someone telling me point blank that they hate me over indifference any day.
Might as well add the ‘but not me.’
This is certainly not the worst thing to say to someone. Some even call it kind compared to the alternative. Still, it hurts to hear.
Age is always a sensitive topic, whether you’re asking or forcing it on someone.
The joke’s on you, though, because she’ll get over the heartache you cause and find out that she’s all that and more.
Imagine someone you’re dating comes up to you and tells you this?
Though feminists own this narrative, some people still get off on calling women bitter when they aren’t ‘being a sweetie.’
You have no right to tell a person how to act, FYI. But then, that doesn’t mean being rebuked like that won’t get to her.
Being compared to your ex would hurt her and most likely make her leave you.
This is a low-low, especially if she told you stuff about her mom in confidence.
Probably you, or your kind, but try asking anyway.
This would hit just about as much as being told you ‘walk’ like a girl.
Another way of saying you’re overreacting, hormonal, a drama queen, etc.
This is like telling her to calm down but worse.
Even if you don’t mean permanently, being asked to be left alone by someone you care about can feel harsh.
Might as well leave it at ‘you are worthless’ and just own your heartlessness.
I’m sure this needs no explanation.
Expressing disappointment in what your partner did is not the worst thing, but directing it at them directly? That’s mean.
Sigh. If you had even the faintest idea of how damaging these four words can be, you wouldn’t use them.
“Harsh words can hurt one's feelings, but silence breaks your heart.”
The following are some hurtful words you should avoid saying to people: wimp, whore, slut, gay, dyke, retarded, stupid, dumb, try-hard, useless, worthless, midget, weirdo, etc. Phrases like shut up, you’re not enough/pathetic/a failure also fall within the category.
You can consciously remind yourself that you are not what other people say you are and find one positive word for each negative one. It can also help to write the words on a piece of paper and burn it.
Acknowledge their pain and empathize with them. Assure them you will try to be there for them as much as they need in this difficult period, so they know they’re not alone. Encourage them to talk about it if they want but don’t force it. Finally, if you don’t know what to say, just listen.
You can start by removing yourself from situations that put you in the same place, if possible. If not, keep your contact with her to needs-only. Give yourself some time to grieve your relationship. Talk to your loved ones about your feelings and try to socialize more.
Like a dagger to the heart, yes, words hurt. They stay with you long after the person who said them might have forgotten. A single statement can have an impact so profound on you that it affects you for as long as you live.
I understand some of the points here aren’t exactly new information, but like I said, the tone matters just as much, if not more than the words themselves. There’s hardly any excuse to be unkind, so even if you must use this, do it sparingly. If you liked this article, kindly leave a comment and share it with others.
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