Marriage can be so complicated and hard to understand. Like we said before on Signs You are Already Ready to Start a New Relationship After a Heartbreak, for some lucky people they can have a happy and long lasting marriage until death takes them away.
For the others, it can be the worst story of their life because not only ruin their relationship but change the way they look at love. Maybe one marriage is enough to find your true love, maybe you need two or three but it is still possible if you will nevermore find it.
If you cannot get a happy marriage, it is gonna be better if you prepare anything to include learning about divorce and how to maintain a good relationship with your children after you have it.
Talking to the kids to explain something as hard as marriage is not easy. You need to put extra effort and patient to tell them correctly. Some of them maybe will feel that their world already ruin and blame you as a parent because of it.
Moreover, they have different characteristics each other make you can treat them the same. Everything takes time and you have to explain it carefully so your children don’t get it bad. Even though it’s hard, after 7 First Date Conversation Ideas to Make Your Date Attracts to You here the tips to maintain a good relationship with your children after divorce:
- Explain to Them Carefully
Choose some wise and nice words to explain to your children why some couples can have a divorce. It is even better to tell anything that make you split with your partner if it is possible. Make sure your children are in a good mood before you start telling the truth.
Try to not make one side looks guilty than the other because some kids are hard to understand which is wrong or right. Tell them when their mind is stable will make you easier to explain what is actually going on. Your word choice is also important in this situation.
- Don’t Let Some Issues Unclear
Choosing good words is not enough to keep your relationship in a good way. You need to explain everything as detail as possible and do not let some issues unclear. It is better if you give your children some question space to ask you something they don’t understand.
Answer all those questions nicely until they really understand what happened between you two. Some questions may not acceptable for kids so you can use some analogy or ask your older children to explain it to their sibling. Try to explain it by your children’s perspective so you will make it easier.
- Tell Your Children that You are There for Them
Divorce is gonna be so hard for you but we all agree that is harder for your children. You should strengthen your heart and don’t looked sad because there are your children who need to be strengthened.
Tell your children that you are there for them every time they need you to share a story, share a tear, or share every problem they had. It is okay to not giving any solution from some problem because sometimes all they need is an only warm hug and arm to lean back on. Hug them tight and say the magic word: Hakuna Matata.
- Be a Friend to Your Children
Divorce can affect everything included in your children’s life. Everything can turn into suck because they think negatively. Just like the previous point, all you need is to be there for them and be their friend.
Do not be too busy for them, give a consultation space so you can listen to what is your children’s problem because that is how a friend works. Try to update everything they like or their trend so you can stay up to date that will make you stay close to them. You might want to check dating tips for single parents.
- Listen to What They Want
Some kids maybe can not accept your divorce but no matter what it is listen to them. If you explain what makes you divorce but your children keep arguing, ask them what the solution they propose.
Listen to them and tell that you already did that solution but it can not works. Explain it until all your children’s solutions run out. Listen to every whish they made and follow it if it’s possible.
- Don’t Stop Them if They Want to See Their Dad or Mom
The hardest thing after divorce is custody right. If you own it, let them see their dad or mom because they will miss her or him so much. Build a good relationship with your ex-partner because believe it or not it will help your children grow.
It is even better if you can let them sleepover in your ex-partner house. Of course, only do it if you are sure that your ex is not a threat such as an alcoholic, drug addict, or maybe have a tendency to do violent.
- Give Space
Even though we give many tips above, please highlight that you do not need to do all of them in a hurry. Times will heal the pain in your children’s hearts so they will accept it later. Give them space to do some reflection and realize that they have become a broken home family right now.
Nobody says parenting was easy, everything needs process. Remember you can’t be a father or mother in one night so don’t blame yourself because of having a divorce. Get to know your children deeper so you can figure out what exactly they need.
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