It's easy to blame everything on your boyfriend when he does something wrong that makes you angry at him. You might even end up saying things you'll regret later on, which is why it's important to let your boyfriend know you are upset with him but without pushing him away.
Before Talking to Your Boyfriend
Since you are mad at him, it's likely that your thoughts and feelings are all over the place. Before you talk to him, get yourself some space first and clear your head so you can talk to him rationally.
Get some space away from him and sit down so you can take deep breaths and collect your thoughts. Think about why you're angry at him and what he really did. Ask yourself why it even made you angry in the first place.
It's angry to throw around curse words when you're angry at someone (which is why step 1 is important.) Gather your words and carefully construct your sentences so that whatever you say won't offend him.
What to Say to Your Boyfriend When You Are Mad at Him
Knowing how to talk to your boyfriend when you are upset with him is important as communication is a key part of the relationship. Here are things on what to say to him when you are mad at him.
Instead of constantly saying "you", focus more on yourself by saying "I" statements more. The constant use of the word "you" can make him feel blamed and he might feel offended. Even if you feel he is wrong, it's important that you let him know how you feel. This will allow you both to understand your feelings and let the conversation flow smoothly.
It's easy for the conversation to suddenly go elsewhere, especially if you've been bottling up your feelings for a while now. Rather than bringing up past problems that will just make the flame bigger, focus on the present situation, the one that really made you explode. Bringing up past problems can only make the argument even bigger and won't resolve anything.
Using the first point, allow him to understand how you're really feeling and why you're feeling that way. Don't let the conversation turn around and become a competition where you focus on winning the argument. Let him know why he made you angry so that he can understand the situation from your point of view.
Instead of telling him to, for instance, be more punctual, tell him that you don't want him to be late to appointments anymore. It can come off as less bossy and it can let him know what you want him to improve more in the relationship. This way, you can both also come up with a solution that works for both of you, not just for one side of the relationship.
Once you've let out all your emotions, ask him how he's feelings. Let him in on the conversation to make him feel included so the relationship doesn't feel one-sided. He'll appreciate the fact that you're asking for his point of view. This will also allow you to understand why he did or said whatever it was that made you mad. This can also give him a chance to apologize.
Aside from the things you can say to your boyfriend when you're mad at him, below is a summarised list of do's and don'ts when talking to him.
When talking to your boyfriend when you are angry at him, the most important thing is that you let him know straight away how you're really feeling so that you can see the situation from both points of view and can resolve the argument immediately.
Does it feel like pulling teeth getting him to say how he feels about you?
Some men can be very gaurded and closed when it comes to expressing how they feel - it can almost feel like they are pulling away from you. Many women make the mistake of pushing their man to say how they feel, but this is actually one of the worst things you can do as it can push him away further.
To get him to really show you how he feels and communicate how much he appreciates you, there's one simple thing, although often overlooked, thing you can say to him today that taps into how men are wired and can often lead to them suddenly pouring their heart out. My friend recorded a quick free video (click to watch) that shows exactly how to do that.