How To Let Your Boyfriend Know You Are Upset With Him (13 Honest Ways)

by Michelle Devani

Are you upset with your boyfriend but unsure how to communicate this with him?

This is a selfless thing to worry about, so props to you for considering your boyfriend’s feelings. 

Indeed, the way you communicate your feelings will have a direct impact on whether he changes his actions. 

That’s why I packed this guide with ideas for communicating your distress in a way that’s best for the relationship. 

But, allow me to begin with a quick tale that could help strengthen your relationship as a whole. 

I always used to be upset with my boyfriends, because they’d never take our relationship seriously. 

I was always treated as an option, not a priority. 

Clearly, I was no good at sharing these feelings, because they’d usually walk away instead of fixing the problem.

Thankfully, that changed when I began reading about a barely-known aspect of mens’ psychology known as the ‘Hero’s Instinct’.

This part of the male mind is directly connected with how attracted they become to the women in their lives. 

Once a woman learns how to activate this primal tick, her man can begin to experience extreme feelings of power, purpose and joy. These are the emotions all men seek in long-term relationships. 

Naturally, he becomes emotionally drawn to women who can make him feel these emotions so powerfully.    

I have used my extensive knowledge of the ‘Hero’s Instinct’ to strengthen my existing relationships and invite new men into my life (to learn how I did this, click to read my story).

It’s mind-blowing how little is written about this emotional trigger, especially since it has been so effective for me. This really is the way to make a man differently about you, compared to any other woman. 

Anyway, let’s get to solving your existing conflict...

13 Ways To Let Your Man Know You Are Upset With Him


When you have an argument with your partner, it is normal to be upset when he doesn't apologize. However, don't let his actions make you angry, especially if he can justify his actions.

Be calm about the whole situation and don't pour out your frustration on him. There are ways to handle such a situation other than being too hostile to your partner.

I know it is not easy; letting your partner know that you are upset can be very difficult, especially because you won't want it to turn into a conflict between you guys. No one wants ever to be accused or shouted at. When things are not handled that way, it can lead to a fight.

Rather than bottling up your emotions, they are ways to deal with your man without showing any sign of anger. Here are 13 ways to let your man know you are upset with him.

1. Ignore his messages

Please do not reply to his text message, even on social media. Let him send you loads of messages on Instagram and WhatsApp. Just open the message, so it marks read. Then leave it, ignore him, and give him the idea that you are upset with him.

As a woman, you must have a way of drawing his attention when you're mad at him. That way, he must suspect something is wrong. Ignore your boyfriend's messages and watch him worry and inquire what the problem is. If these men don't realize when they do something to us, we will bring it to their attention by force.

2. Request for little space

request for a little space

If it's not easy for you to open up to him and honestly tell him how you feel, it’s best to take time out and request to have some space alone, let him know that you could be anywhere right now but not near him. When you request space, he will know that you are upset and try to find out the reason. 

Getting alone space isn't a bad idea; it's necessary for a healthy relationship. Don't overdo this and lose your relationship. If you decide to get some space, make sure you tell him about it first and don't ruin the bond in your relationship by taking more than the time you requested for. 

It would be best if you learned to communicate even though your anger might want to get the best part of you. You wouldn't want to have a broken relationship due to a lack of proper communication

3. Let your face look upset

Don't be all smiles, playful, cheerful, and sexy. Are you upset? Then show it on your face. If words fail you to express your feelings, let your facial reactions and body language show what you feel.

Don't try too hard and don't give him the benefit of the doubt at all. Your man should not only realize you are mad at him.

How you are feeling matters too. So, he should also try his best to amend things. Showing how you feel is a nice way to tackle this kind of issue. But if your body and facial expressions are not cooperating with you, let it slide and do something else.

4. The silence game

This next tip is unbeatable; it cannot go unnoticed. When you give your partner the silent treatment, he must notice that something isn't right. So keep quiet and don't answer any of his questions. Make sure you don't give him a chance to think you are just joking and you will come around later; he must know you are serious.

But remember that silence makes the heart grow fond. Just be sensitive so you know when your attitude starts to cross boundaries. You never want to go overboard in situations like this, so you don't start losing your man gradually.

5. Sarcasm

There is just this low-key fun in being sarcastic, and it feels way better when the person gets the message you are sending. If you really want your boyfriend to know you are upset about something he did or said, and you don't want just to come out and be straightforward about the issue, you can speak about it sarcastically.

Make sure he is paying attention when you are giving him some sarcasm. You don't want him not to get what you really mean. So, be smart about it and never use words that will hurt his feelings in any way. When you use sarcastic words, he could get the hint.

6. Let him figure things out himself

let him figure things out himself

That's the point of the attitude you are giving anyways. Let him go through the stress of figuring out where he messed up so he can learn the hard way and never repeat the mistakes he made. He should stress his brain thinking of what the problem is. Besides, you've gone through some emotional down feeling waiting for him to realize what he did wrong and confront it.

But while he is trying to figure out his reasons for acting that way, you can give him a few hints. Because everybody is wired differently, it might take him a very long time to realize his flaws. And if you are not a patient person, your anger might just get worse.

7. Be a bit open

I say you should be slightly open so he could have an idea of what the possible problem could be. So, after some breaks, chill out and loosen up a bit and let him know why you are upset. You may not come out so prompt and plain. So just drop small hints here and there in the conversation that he can link together and understand you better.

But if he still doesn't get why you are mad at him, I think it is better to talk to him rather than keeping him in the dark, and you keep hurting yourself.

8. Please make sure you tell him your mind

Free yourself from the weight of anger and speak your mind. How you feel is important, and you can't keep carrying those worries in your mind. We often carry anger in our hearts for too long because we are not willing to say exactly how we feel. We just dance around the bush. Communication releases a lot of tension, and it frees you from unnecessary thinking.

I know you are upset at the moment, but a way to get things sorted out is to speak your mind. You just need to be honest so the issue can be fixed and forgotten. Be calm and speak so he could understand. Make sure you are in control of your temper, so you don't explode and blow things out of proportion.

9. Don't initiate the conversation

As much as it is important that you both talk about the issue. Because communication is vital in every relationship, don't be the one to initiate the discussion. If he really loves you, he must see the signs that you are mad at him and his first instinct is to know what he did wrong and try to trash things out. But if he sees you are angry and doesn't want to do anything about it, I think there is a problem then.

Your partner should be sensitive to your needs, so when you're mad at him, he should be able to reach out to you. If you start the conversation with the way you are upset, things can really get terrible because. At that point, anything can trigger the anger you feel.

10. Please don't call him the name he is used to

Men are sensitive; they notice things that we think they would never notice. If you call your man babe, cuddle buddy, my love, or even his first name, and you suddenly change to something unromantic, it's an indication that something is wrong.

So when he talks to you, please don't call him by that normal name he is used to hearing from you. Let him feel the difference. And once you do this more than once, he must want to know what is wrong.

11. Collect your thoughts

collect your thoughts

This is very important before you start acting up or speaking out. Think things through before you act. Seat down, take deep breaths and reflect on the things making you upset if it's worth the stress or the storm you are feeling.

When you have thought things through, you can now act because by then, you've put your facts together, and your reactions can be mild since you don't want to overreact and lose your boyfriend in the process. You want him to notice that you are upset because you still love him, and you want your relationship to work. So don't push him away till the extent of break up.

12. Be specific

When you finally decide to speak up and sort things out with your partner, be specific. Hit the nail on the head. Don't go around in circles, and start talking about everything that matters and those that don't. There is no need to go to past events that have already been trashed out; just discuss the current issue.

If you do that, the conversation may yield nothing as he may not remember all the epistles you gave. That's why I said you should be specific and direct and don't forget to be honest.

13. Use a little bit of calmness

I know you are angry, and at that point, you can do anything. But at the same time, you never want your anger ever to get the best part of you. Men love it when they are respected, so treat the issue calmly. Don't go doing anything that can make you lose your man at the end of the day. Talk to him with love and still respect. Your calmness can melt his heart and make him feel very guilty.

FAQs

How do you make your boyfriend happy when he's upset with you?

First, you must apologize and show him you mean it. Make his favorite meal, constantly affirm him. Assure him you are never leaving his sight and be willing to make corrections and change.

What to say to your boyfriend when he's upset with you?

I love you, baby. I'm willing to make our relationship work no matter what we go through. Even in times of conflict, I promise to love you at all times. You mean so much to me. You are my man forever, and I promise to make you a priority.

How do you let a guy know you're mad at him through text?

Give him cold replies, never reply to him quickly, give him time to suspect you might be upset, send him frowning emojis, formally reply to him and give him the one-word reply.

How can I impress my boyfriend while chatting?

Don't act desperate when chatting. A man would be more interested in you when he has to chase you. So, keep your messages short, flirt with him while chatting, send him beautiful pictures of you, use some nice emojis but not too much, and be the first to end the conversation.

How do I comfort my crying boyfriend?

If he needs space, then give him space but never go too far, offer to support and help him out. Also, pay attention to him when he talks. Tell him how strong he is, his strengths, and meet his needs if you can.

In Conclusion

I hope you found this article helpful. As a woman, you must know you have a lot of power over your man. Once your man accepts to be wrong, be willing always to forgive. Let me know what you think, and please don't forget to share this article with others.

Michelle Devani
My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think.

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