Logical Reasons Why Your Boyfriend Doesn't Want To Sleep With You

Last updated on May 2, 2024 by Michelle Devani

You have been dating your boyfriend for about a couple of months now and you sure want to take this relationship to a higher level, but he is not making a move at all or even rejected you when you are trying to seduce him to make him into the mood for having sex with you.

By experiencing this multiple possibilities are running through your mind; is there another woman that he is seeing? does he lose his interest in me? am I not good enough for him to touch? and the list goes on and on.

Despite all the possibilities that I mention above, you must stay out of all the negative thoughts that you are currently having in your mind because that only puts you in an anxious and depressing situation. try to have a positive state of mind while reading through these logical reasons why your boyfriend doesn't want to sleep with you.


1. Low Sex Drive

The reasons why your boyfriend doesn't want to sleep with you is maybe not because of you or relationship related problems but caused by his health condition. Low libido or low sex drive ranging from low testosterone level or to a more serious problem like a cardiovascular problem. Tell him to seek a professional's help by visiting a doctor to check on your medical condition or a physician to open up to if your boyfriend is experiencing sexual appetite problems.

2. Erectile Dysfunction

erectile dysfunction

Erectile dysfunction is a condition where he can't get his genitalia firm enough to be involved in sexual intercourse. Erectile dysfunction is caused by things such as obesity, smoking, depression, drug use, consuming alcohol, and sleep disorders.

Tell your boyfriend that it's okay for him to open up to you because most guys are surely shy to admit that he has erectile dysfunction, tell him that you are all right with his condition, and also offering him help and support to find a solution to his condition.

3. Porn Addiction

When your boyfriend is addicted to porn it is creating a mindset in his mind that relying on porn to get him stimulated is a better thing to do than to get stimulated with you. This is can be a huge problem in your relationship because porn will create unrealistic expectations on how is sex suppose to be done, this will make him less interested or maybe less satisfied with you resulting in low sex drive towards you.

4. Alcohol Addiction 

According to studies, alcohol can have a bad effect on his genital function and sex drive. Alcohol addiction is a well-known cause of a man's erectile dysfunction or ejaculation problems, if your boyfriend is an alcoholic I think this is the right time to stop his addiction.

5. Lack Of Affection 

How often are you giving cute hugs to your boyfriend? How often are you giving him a passionate kiss? If you rarely give those to him and only wanted straight-up sex, I think we are having a problem here.

According to Raphael Darvish, MD, MBA, a physician with Concierge Medicine in Los Angeles: "His disinterest in sex could be because you're not showing him enough everyday affection. Loss of libido in men often has little to do with medical causes and a lot to do with the women in their lives," says Dr. Darvish. "Not feeling wanted and no or limited physical contact can really hurt a relationship." 

6. Depression Or Anxiety Or Both

Mood-related problems are one of the obvious reasons why he doesn't want to sleep with you, were talking about your boyfriend experiencing depression, anxiety, or even both of them.

Any kind of mental illness will surely make you lose interest in almost everything, even the things that you like and in this case in having sex with someone that you love.

Also read: Things to Say to Help Someone Who Is Stressed Out 

7. He Is Not Feeling Well

he is not feeling well

Of course, it is obvious that when you are not feeling well you won't have the mood or energy to be engaged in sexual intercourse.

When you find that he is not in a good health all you can do is nurse him back to health while giving all the care and love that he needs, when he is back to health he surely will give back all the care and love that you gave him while he is sick by having passionate sexual intercourse with you. 

8. He Is No Longer Interested In You

When this happens, this is not the end of the world, I repeat this is not the end of the world. When your boyfriend is losing interest in you there are a lot of possibilities why this issue is happening, maybe you are losing your adventurous vibes that he loves so much, maybe you are not taking care of yourself like you used to, maybe there is something unpleasant that you did to make him lose interest in you and the list goes on and on.

What you need to do in this kind of situation is find a way to win him back, try to find a new look, arrange a date doing whatever that he like, or maybe surprise him with a romantic dinner that leads up to sex.

Read more: Ways to Make Your Man Love You Even More

9. He Is Cheating

Okay, I save this up for last because this is one of the most common and obvious reasons why he doesn't want to sleep with you. When your boyfriend is seeing someone else, of course, it will shift his heart and mind to his new interest thus turning off all the sexy thoughts that he is having of you.

If you find any indication that he is currently cheating, don't jump to a conclusion just yet, read Clear Signs Your Boyfriend is Cheating on You in Relationship to find does your boyfriend cheats on you or not.

Utilize this instrument for a comprehensive background check
Whether your relationship is in its budding phase or you're in the blissful realm of marriage, escalating infidelity rates (over 40% in the past two decades) warrant your caution.

You may want to ascertain whether he is engaging in secretive text conversations with other women, maintaining active profiles on dating platforms like Tinder, or concealing a criminal history. Or you might be fearing the worst - infidelity.

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Michelle Devani
My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think.
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