Does your mother in law express her disapproval of your parenting style often? Do you feel that your mother in law annoys you so much it starts affecting your mental health? Does your mother in law constantly criticize anything you do? Do you find your mother in law overly intrusive and controlling?
These might happen because some mother in laws are clingy and can’t let their child go, or because they feel that they have more experience and therefore knows better than you on how to guide a family. Past study revealed that only one in four women like her mother-in-law. If your mother in law annoys you, here are some ways on how to make your mother in law leave you alone.
1. Talk to your spouse
A common way to build foundation of success before confronting your enemy, is to discuss with your partner about it. Talk to your spouse first and foremost, about how you feel regarding your mother in law. Ensure your spouse that you can’t do it alone, and you need your spouse to support you.
Make sure you both agree on a course of action to face the problem, and have a common agreement to make sure everything goes well for all family members. Your spouse should also take a big part in helping your mother in law to adjust to the new rules and family hierarchy. At least, even if your spouse can’t stop your mother in law’s attitude, your spouse might be able to help her reduce her bad habits. Also, find more about Signs That Your Mother In Law Doesn’t Like You
2. Set your boundaries
There’s a chance that your mother in law doesn’t know where the boundaries are on how much she should interfere with you and your family. Another step on how to make your mother in law leave you alone, is to first determine the boundaries that you and your family have. Figure out what you can tolerate, and what are her attitude that you can’t accept.
Let your mother in law knows, what bothers you and what you would like her to do instead as an alternative. Limit your mother in law’s involvement and maintain strong boundaries to protect yourself and your family’s well being. Determine how you will allow yourself and your family to be treated. Basically, decide where you draw the line and don’t back down from it. Also, find more about Ways to Make Your Mother-in-Law Likes You
3. Tell her directly
In getting your point across, playing nice does not always works. Sometimes, it’s better to be upfront and show that your mother in law should have less to no control over your own family. Tell your mother in law she needs to let you and your spouse be the parents and learn things on your own.
Show that you also have the power to lead your family, and be confident enough to stand up for yourself. There’s a chance that things are not going to change for the better unless you tell her directly. Also, find more about Reasons Why Mother is More Important Than Father
4. Tell her politely
As much as you wanted your mother in law to stop messing with your personal choice and family matters, it is better to tell her politely to avoid any bad blood. She might not take it well at first, but this step would help to let her know to back off a little bit. It will take some time, and she might get offended, however telling her politely would show that you have a bigger heart and not getting too emotional. Also, find more about How to Talk to Your Girlfriend’s Mother for The First Time
Stand your ground and appreciate the way your mother in law thinks and feels. Let her know how you feel differently, or how you would prefer to do things. Don’t take her bait into an emotional reaction, this will add fuel to the fire. After all, you both are still family and the relationship needs to still be well-maintained.
5. Don’t get caught in emotions
Strong emotions and bad feelings can make situation worse. Though your mother in law’s attitude might be hurtful, remember to stay neutral about your feelings and remember that her bad attitude has little to do with you. Remember that no matter how horrible your mother in law is, she will not impact your home and your ability to be a good spouse and parent. Don’t be rude, don’t pick fights, and don’t react defensively.
Even if it might be tempting to fight fire with fire, and being equally harsh to your mother in law, don’t go there. When you’re discussing with your mother in law, stick to facts and logical reasoning. Listen to her point of view, and be objective if she’s giving you a good lesson or advice.
6. Limit your meet-ups
Sure, your spouse and children would need to establish and foster relationship with your mother in law. However, if you feel like your mother in law and you is impossible to get along, give some physical distance between you two. You don’t have to attend or be involved in every family event, but you can let your family meet your mother in law without you.
Be selective about your family meet-ups, and only attend events that are important for you to attend. Although, you need to keep in mind that if your mother in law is starting to be toxic for your spouse and children as well, you have the right to limit their time with one another.
7. Show your wisdom
Be emphatic, and try to understand your mother in law’s point of view. Despite how much you want to get away from your mother in law, give her a chance to redeem herself. Limiting your children and family from spending too much time with her would be helpful, but if your mother in law shows sincere effort to change her behavior, it would result in a better family relationship.
Showing your wisdom on handling this matter will let her know that you are capable to lead and take care of your own family without her interruption.
Those are some ways on how to make your mother in law leave you alone. Be patient cause everything takes time. Try to do these steps one by one, for a healthier and happier family relationship.