23 Ways To Destroy Your Husband's Mistress

Last updated on July 11, 2024 by Michelle Devani

Are you looking for ways to destroy your husband's mistress?

Perhaps you don't want to hurt her, but you would like to make her life a lot harder.

While this isn't the most ethical advice in the world, I do understand where you're coming from. 

That's why I decided to put together this list of ideas to help ensure your husband's mistress gets her commupance. 

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23 Ways To Destroy Your Husband’s Mistress

Finding out your husband has been unfaithful to you is a slap on the face; it hurts so much that so many women are pushed to do dreadful things. According to the five steps of grief, anger usually sets in immediately after denial. So, don’t feel guilty if you feel like going full-on Beyonce in her ‘lemonade’ video; smashing the car windows of your cheating husband and all that.

At the stage of anger, thoughts of revenge against the object of hurt usually kicks in, and as a wife, it’s easy to start thinking of ways to make ‘soon-to-be ex-husband and his mistress pay! If this is you, I think it’s safe to say you’re not alone. 

As a wife and mother, I can fully relate to the desire for revenge; the good news is there are ways you can bring these vengeful fantasies to life without breaking the law. If you’re interested, sit tight and I’ll take you through 23 ways you can destroy your husband’s mistress.

1. Don’t get caught

don't get caught

Planning a revenge mission then ending up in prison for it would be a disaster; it would be completely counter-productive. Whatever you do, don’t go overboard and do something illegal, like kidnap her or worse- murder her. 

Stay on the lighter path, plan things that are legal yet satisfying to you, and hurtful to your husband s mistress. Remember, your motive is to hurt his mistress emotionally and not physically, so whatever you do, don’t get caught breaking the law.

2. Have a heart to heart with your husband

Even though your husband has shattered your heart into a thousand pieces, he’s still your husband (unless you’ve decided to make him your ex-husband). You both need to sit down and talk about everything; why he chose to disrespect you and cheat on you, what he thought he was missing that you couldn’t give to him and how to deal with things moving forward. 

If your husband is genuinely sorry about how he sabotaged the marriage and is willing to work through it with you, then you both can plan your healing process together.

3. Win back your husband

Whether it was a fling or a quarter-life crisis for your husband, he may have developed some type of emotional attachments to his mistress, even if those feelings may not be love. If your husband is repentant and ready to make things work between both of you, then do your best to win him back. 

If you're the kind of wife that won’t want to lose your husband to someone else, then inspire him to direct those feelings to you so you can both be as happy as you were before, or even closer.

4. Mend your marriage

Working through everything with your husband and making your marriage even more concrete would be a punch on the other woman’s’ face. That would be a way to make his mistress realize that she wasn’t really loved, but she was someone he was biding his time away with. 

Mending your marriage with your cheating husband would likely not be a piece of cake, but it would destroy his mistress.

5. Use what you have

Sometimes, you need to wear your ‘petty’ with your head up high and a smile on your face. If this mistress is not your husband’s baby mama, then you are quite lucky; you have what she doesn’t have. 

Use your kids to your advantage, post some photos and videos of your kids playing with your husband, then tag him so she can have a clear view of how happy and blessed your family is.

6. Show her that you’re still standing

Make his mistress realize that her efforts to replace you are entirely futile and that you’re not moved. Ensure your usual demeanor does not change, keep smiling, and find ways to keep yourself genuinely happy so that it shows in everything you do. 

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Could he be sending flirty texts to another woman? Or secretly swiping on Tinder? Or even have a hidden criminal past? Or, the worst fear - could he be cheating?

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If you’re usually very active on social media, don’t stop. Instead, post photos and write-ups that amplify your best moments with your husband. This way, she’d see that you’re way above the little fling she had with your husband. 

7. Post photos of you and your husband

post photos of you and your husband

As mentioned above, make sure your social media is filled with happy and positive posts about your marriage. Do not make posts on your social media based on your feelings; resist the urge to share everything you feel. 

Just post recent photos of you and your husband living your best life even after whatever happened with his mistress. Nothing would hurt her as much as realizing that she was just another woman he could toy with

8. Take it up a notch

If you had let yourself go for any reason, now’s the time to snap back up. Do a little shopping, spice up your wardrobe, get some designer accessories for a change, go to the spa, get a facial, manicure, or pedicure perhaps, just try something you haven’t tried before. 

Don’t forget to work on your mind, too. It’s important to be beautiful both inside and out. You could learn a new language, perhaps a sexy one like French. Or take some programming courses just to add some value to yourself and boost your self-esteem.

9. Tell someone she cares about

If there’s one thing most people value, it's their reputation. Find out if your husband’s mistress has a husband or is in some type of relationship, then rat her out to whoever he is. If his mistress isn’t in any other relationship, then look for a close family member’s contact and send them a message, with evidence, if possible. This will hit her where it hurts.

10. Destroy her social life

Social media has become one of the most powerful communication tools, but it can also build or break a person’s image. If you know her profile name on any social media platforms, calling his mistress out could destroy the picture people have of her and ruin the relationships she has built. 

You could create a fake handle so you don’t smear your name. Twitter would be better because there are many people on that app who love news like this and are ready to retweet and spread the word far and wide. Her friends, family, colleagues at work, and even her admirers would see this. Even if she tries to deny it, the damage would already have been done.

11. Let her kids know

If she’s an older woman and has kids of her own, find their contacts and reach out to them. Tell them everything, with evidence, if it’s available. Explain to them how their mom is a homewrecker and has no respect for the beauty of family. Even if they defend her in front of you, they will lose respect for her deep down. 

12. Confront her in person

You don’t have to make a complete scene, but confronting his mistress would be a big shock to her. Walk up to her and tell her that you know what she did; she’d probably never expect you to say it to her face. Make her understand that it wasn’t just a man she was sleeping with but also a family she was ruining. If she has an ounce of decency, she’d feel terrible.

13. Let her know, you know

let her know you know

This mistress is probably walking around feeling sneaky like she’s in a secure relationship with a married man without his wife knowing. Playing with her mind would make her confused, guilty, and uncertain about what you know. 

If she’s someone you know, casually drop one or two hints related to her affair with your husband, she’d wonder if you knew or if her mind is playing tricks on her. You could even speak as if you were talking about someone else and not her. Doing this continuously from time to time would put her in a terrible place mentally.

14. Be passive-aggressive

Being passive-aggressive is way worse than being outwardly aggressive. If the other woman is part of your social circle, you can mess with her mind and feelings by hurting her with your passive-aggressive words and actions. She may act like she doesn’t care for a while, but it would bother her.

15. Assemble your squad

Let your girlfriends know what’s been happening; they would be thrilled to help. Apart from the comfort and advice, your squad is willing to give; they also have your back. 

They are likely to do the confrontation for you; some crazy friends may even send her abusive messages or do something else to make her feel bad. Most importantly, they will be there to defend and protect you if the need arises.

16. Put out an Ad

You can put out an ad in the local newspaper, not everyone buys a newspaper these days, but most newspaper companies have an online feature. Ask for the ‘personal ads’ or the announcement columns. 

You don’t have to use her full name; people who know her may still know the woman you're referring to. Make an Ad telling everyone about the mistress seeing a man she knew was married and breaking up a happy family. Don’t forget to mention what relationship she had with your husband, for example, if she was his co-worker. 

17. Make a massive statement

If you’re feeling extra vengeful and you don’t mind the expenses, then you could rent a billboard. It would be even more satisfying if you used your husband's money or credit card. Just call up the company that owns the board and pay for as much time as you can afford. 

You can include her photo and write a caption like, “Warning: keep your man away from this woman; she loves to tear homes apart.” This would damage her image

18. Kill her with kindness

She would not see coming; any woman who’s sneaking around with a married man would expect the wife of her lover to approach her with rage. They often get prepared for the worst. 

Surprise her and be kind to her, confuse her. Both the mistress and your husband would wonder why you’re repaying cruelty with love; she may even start to think you’re plotting to kill her. Whatever the case may be, treat her with exceptional care so it would shine a light on her heartlessness. 

19. Make an ‘informative’ flier

If you have time on your hands, you could design a flyer that explains everything that happened between her and your husband. Share it with her neighbors and everyone in her neighborhood. You could even extend it to her place of work if you’re able to get in. 

This news would entertain many bored people; some would even be willing to pick on her because of it. Most importantly, anyone who may have looked up to her at work or had an ounce of respect for her would never look at her the same way.

20. Write her an open letter on Facebook

write her an open letter on facebook

There are tales of hurt women who went on Facebook and posted an open letter to their husband s mistress. Most of these letters are in-depth, sarcastic, and detailed and will expose what transpired between their husband and the woman in question. 

It’s one method of getting closure for yourself; you could express all your angry feelings in the letter to his mistress. This would make her understand the gravity of what she has done. Don’t forget to tag her and all her mutual friends.

21. If she was your friend, she’s dead to you

If this mistress happens to be a friend, no matter how close or distant, you should cut her off! Any friend of yours who would sleep with your husband has no regard for you or your feelings and has the heart to hurt you any other way. 

22. Frame her

This may seem quite extreme, but if you really want to kick her where it hurts, then this is one nasty tool to use. Planting something in her house like drugs or accusing her of other outrageous things could land her in prison. However, you have to ensure no one knows about your plans, especially your husband.

23. Let her have him

No one deserves to have a lying, cheating husband...except a heartless woman who would sleep with another woman’s husband. If you are way too hurt to consider working things out with your husband, then let her have him; they clearly both deserve each other. 


How can I get revenge on my husband's mistress?

The best way to get revenge on your husband’s mistress is to reject the negativity she brings into your space. Confronting her may not give you as much joy or satisfaction as you think and sometimes things can get out of hand during a confrontation. Focus on mending or ending stuff with your husband while maintaining your grace and dignity. 

Can a married man truly love his mistress?

There’s no direct answer for this, every case is unique. However, if a husband truly loves his mistress, he wouldn’t be seeing her in the shadows. He’d end things with his wife (if they aren’t happy together) and continue an honest relationship with her. Any husband who keeps a woman on the side most likely does not love her.

How do I get rid of the other woman in my husband's life?

Ironically, attacking the mistress is not the wisest way to get rid of her; you’d need to focus on your husband. First find out why your husband felt the need to be with someone else, if it was just a fling or if there was more to it. Try to sort out those issues with your husband; it’s one of the best ways to get rid of her. 

How do I get rid of an unwanted husband?

Ending an unhappy marriage is not hard, especially in this age and time; getting a divorce is not as far fetched as it used to be in past years. Just have an honest and open discussion with your soon-to-be ex-husband, explaining to him why you’ve decided to end things with him. Get yourself a lawyer and begin the divorce process.

How can I get revenge on my cheating partner?

Being cheated on is one of the most painful things to experience, but you can still get through it alive. Give yourself some space and time to heal, then start investing in yourself. Stay away from negativity, revisit some old hobbies you may have put aside because of your marriage, and, most of all, have fun!

In A Nutshell

I hope you found this article on how to destroy your husband’s mistress helpful. Remember, living healthy and happy is the best way to pay back people who hurt you. It’s okay to be petty sometimes but don’t stay petty forever. Please drop a comment below and let me know what you think about this topic, and don’t forget to share it.

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Michelle Devani
My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think.

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