Signs You Need to Let a Friend Go (Toxic Friends Go Away)

Last updated on April 7, 2024 by Michelle Devani

Sometimes a friendship just doesn't work anymore. Letting go feels like a bad break up. Make sure you know the signs to leave a friend for sure so you don't regret your decision later.

1. They are Toxic to You

This is one of the biggest signs you need to let a friend go. You might have your own definition of a toxic friend. Overall, it’s someone who doesn’t add anything valuable to your life. Instead, they make your life really hard. Handling this kind of friendship is not as easy as how to deal with school drama in elementary school. But it could be similar.

Take this as an example, you prefer to have a problem free life. Somehow your friend always manages to create drama. You are always involved and it’s tiring. You become so exhausted to the point where you turn into an unhappy person.

2. You Don’t Find Them Trustworthy

What’s the point of having a friend when you don’t find them trustworthy? Being able to trust your friend is one of the joy of a friendship. Somehow you just can’t trust this one friend that you have. You are filled with dread that they are going to spill your secrets.

What’s even worse is that they’ve done it once or multiple times already. It almost seems like your friend can’t break this bad habit. But maybe they just don’t care about you.

3. They Talk behind Your Back

You see, psychologists think that real friendship can only grow when people truly respect each other. If you know that your friend talks behind your back, ditch them. That’s definitely not a sign of respect! A caring friend would never do that to you.

As soon as you see this sign from your friend, be on your guard. Become very selective with any kinds of information you share with them. After all, they can’t keep their mouth shut for you.

4. You Often Feel Manipulated

Are there any ‘insidious’ signs you need to let a friend go? Yes, it’s when they manipulate you and you are compelled to do something you don’t want to. The signs are called insidious because you only realize it later on.

Your friend is just so good at manipulating you that you don’t even know what’s happening. You will feel so used and become upset at yourself. To add salt to the wound, your friend could deflect the blame and point their finger at you instead. It can be a very confusing situation. But that’s what manipulation does to you.

5. There are Many Bitter Arguments

Arguing with your friend is normal but too many arguments is definitely not a good sign. The arguments are bitter, nasty and leave a bad taste in your mouth. Your energy is drained. Another day means another argument. The friendship becomes completely unhealthy. Take this as a signal to walk away from your friend for good.

6. They Can’t Stand to See You Happy

So you got a promotion at work. The first person you tell is your friend. You expect them to be excited as you are but they’re not. What’s up with that? Your friend may congratulate you but they don’t look too happy about it.

They’ll even throw an unnecessary comment to make you feel bad like “Well everyone gets a promotion these days”. Your friend just can’t stand to see you happy and doesn’t want to support your achievements at all. There’s no reason to keep this kind of friend around. Here are some clever ways to defeat your frenemy for sweet revenge.

7. You Don’t Feel Comfortable

Other signs you need to let a friend go involve your feelings. You don’t feel comfortable and there’s a certain dread when they’re around. The fear of saying the wrong things in front of your friend becomes really strong. When you can’t handle the feeling of discomfort with your friend then you shouldn’t hold on to the friendship anymore.

8. You are the One Making Efforts

If you notice yourself making the first call, sending the first text or making plans for your friend then you need to stop. Take a step back and see if you are the only one making efforts. The fact is that you know your friend is capable of reaching out to you.

They can do things that you can for the friendship to last. But they don’t. They’re not putting in the extra work for you. It’s not a good show of a true friend because it means that the friendship is one-sided. Unfortunately, it's also one of the telling signs a friendship is coming to an end.

9. They Always Have an Ulterior Motive

For other signs you need to let a friend go, see a pattern in your friend’s behaviour. Sure, they’re a friend so that means they’re allowed to ask you favours. But see beyond that. You need to leave your friend when they always have an ulterior motive.

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Their intention is never genuine. Once they get what they want from you, they ignore you again. It’s a part of being a toxic friend. They start to see you as a tool, not a human nor a friend who has feelings too.

10. They Never Take Your Side

A true friend will always have your back. They are ready to defend you in any situation. However, a bad friend will never take your side. Even if you’re not in the wrong. They always side with someone else and make you feel so worthless.

You’re supposed to have someone to count on. Not someone who pretends that they do but never shows it. Get all your anger out and feel better by knowing how to tell your ex best friends you hate them.

11. You Barely Talk to Them

Technology makes it so easy to keep in touch with the people you care about. A friend is always a call away. But does this apply to your friend? Of course, life can get very busy and distance is a factor to consider. But a good friend will reach out to you no matter what. A bad friend just brushes you off. You barely talk to them and they don’t show any interest. The friendship start to feel meaningless.

12. You Feel Better without Them

Look out for other signs you need to let a friend go by your happiness level. Psychologists say that friendship should give you pleasure. It’s what drives you to become friends in the first place. When that pleasure is gone, your so-called friend should too. Find new ones and make sure to do these funny ways to tell your friends you love them.

Don't force yourself to sustain a friendship. Some things in life are not meant to be forever.

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Michelle Devani
My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think.
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