What to Say to Your Boyfriend When You've Had an Argument with Him

by Michelle Devani

Arguments are inevitable—and perfectly normal—for dating couples. In fact, you grow love out of arguments and you come to know each other better through it. Two heads with two different thoughts and ideas, it’s impossible not to have different opinion.

You may have read several common “tips” on having arguments with your boyfriend. For example, using the word “I” instead “you” to avoid sounds accusing or not to call his name during the fight. But what’s more important is what you say/do after you’ve had it. Also read Things to Do When You and Your Boyfriend Are Fighting

It’s the critical moment that define you will either makeup or breakup. You need to know about what to say to your boyfriend when you’ve had an argument as well as things you should never do. So here are everything you need to know about coping with your boyfriend post-argument:

  1. Say Nothing to Give Space

First thing first, you have to cool down both of your head after a heated argument. Nobody can think clearly about what they want and what they say when they’re still emotional.

After you’ve done saying everything you want to say and so has he, walk away to give space to each other. But don’t take too long time either of it will be too late to makeup.

  1. “I know I was wrong, I’m sorry.”

Either of you must have started the arguments, but the one who started it doesn’t always the one who’s guilty. So if you were, be the first one to apologize. Admit that you were wrong, thus you’re sorry.

In certain situations, apology doesn’t resolve the problem. But it did calm down the situation. Also read How to Make Your Boyfriend Not Take You for Granted

  1. “Hey, have you eat?”

The biggest mistake someone make after having an argument is to put a wall between them and their partner. You think that by ignoring them, they’ll approach you first and how you makeup. It’s wrong.

Don’t give him cold shoulder, especially when you have had space to calm down. Offer warmth to him first, by asking out for a meal or just saying that you miss him.

  1. “What happened in here stays here.”

When we’re having an argument, we can be out of control and saying things that hurt our loved ones. But if you want to makeup and move on, whatever he said during the argument stays there. Don’t store it inside the gun to be shot to him when you have the chance. Also read What to Do When Your Boyfriend Is Ignoring You After An Argument

If his words are too much to tolerate, take a deep breath and give yourself space instead of confronting to him right away. Bringing up past statement you made when you fought only trap you in an endless circle without the real resolution.

  1. “I’m sorry. I’ll fix it in the future.”

As said before, sorry doesn’t resolve the arguments sometimes. It’s why you need to know what to say to your boyfriend when you’ve had an argument beside apologize. That is called double apologize. An argument is over when you have found the resolution.

So if you’re the one on the wrong side, say “I’m sorry” as the opening statement, followed by “I’ll fix it in the future” with probably a picture on how you’ll fix whatever you need to fix.

  1. “As I thought about it, I realize what I said must’ve hurt you.”

We said that you shouldn’t give them cold shoulder after the argument. But you shouldn’t act like nothing’s happened as well. You can say in a calm manner that you realize you’ve hurt him with whatever you say during the fight.

It shows that you have reflected on yourself, admitting that you’re wrong, and aware what you’ve done hurt him. Also read How To Apologize For Being A Bad Girlfriend

Things You Shouldn’t Say/Do After an Argument

Don’t make mistake people usually do after having argument with their partner. If you ever do any of these things below, reconciliation seems to far, far away.

  • Making Excuses

You can simply blame anything that cause your arguments: pulled off an all-nighter, bad day, or your body not feeling well. None of them will cause argument when you handle things right. Warn your boyfriend after you had a bad day, or be understanding when he becomes too sensitive after staying up late.

  • Walking Away When He Talks About the Argument Again

Discussing the issue why you fought and what cause you fought is impossible when you’re still occupied by anger and emotion. But after a few minutes or days when you have made up, he might want to revisit the situation.

If this happen, don’t turn your back on him. Hear them out and reflect on things he said—he could be right. In return, you can tell him whatever you want to tell him related to the argument. Also read Tips to Keep Your Man Happy in A Relationship

  • Insulting Him in Any Way Possible

Some people hard to let go and they still cranky days after having arguments. But you better not muttering things or keep insulting him referring to the fight. Even worse when you call his name out. It’s the hardest thing to recover from.

  • Having Makeup Sex When You Haven’t Fully Over It

People say makeup sex is the best sex someone could ever have. Well, that’s not always the case. Imagine when you just had an argument with your bf and suddenly he lays you on the bed, like, really? Makeup sex only works when both parties are on the same page.

  • Focusing on What Cause the Fight

Another common mistake that made an argument endless and never reach a resolution: you hold grudges and focusing on the cause instead of the solution. For example when your bf forget to bring cash, it resolved when he goes to the ATM.

But instead of letting it go, you make a fuss by saying “Why you never bring cash lately?” See the different?

Those are our useful tips about what to say to your boyfriend when you’ve had an argument. Deal with problems in your relationship wisely. Let bygone be bygone, move on and live in the future.

Michelle Devani
My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think.