How Do I Tell My Boyfriend I Don't Wanna be with Him Anymore

by Michelle Devani

When you just start a relationship, everything seems sweet and promising. But you never know what’s the future has in store for you. You unexpectedly feel like you don’t match with him. Something like that happen often in a relationship. You have two choice: either to give it a try and put more effort or just end it for good.

The next thing come in your mind would be “how do I tell my boyfriend I don’t wanna be with him?” Of course you want a good breakup but it’s somehow harder than the bad one. But you have to make it so. Here are the things you can do.

  1. Be Mentally Prepared

It’s never easy to tell someone who loves you that your feeling has changed for them. It’s going to be painful for the both of you. So before you put into action, you must prepare yourself mentally first. Make sure that this is what you want and that you won’t be hesitating in telling him. Also read Things You Should Always Do When You Breakup with Someone

Pick you words first so that you can tell him everything you want him to know. Practice makes perfect so do it a lot before you meet him.

  1. Convince Him Breakup is Better

This could be too suddenly or out of the blue to hear you asking for separation, especially if he still has feelings for you, he would reject a breakup. It’s on you to explain to him why breakup is better than keep it going. If you are really sure about what you’re doing, you have to be emotionally strong and not to be shaken by him.

Even if you accept his will to try, it’s not fair for both of you. You’re not the same anymore. It’s only hurt both of you even more. It’s very important to you to make sure to yourself that you don’t have feeling anymore for him so you can find ways to convince him about the breakup. Also read Reasons Not to Text Your Ex Right After a Breakup

  1. Do It in Person

Don’t be a coward for this one. You have to be brave to see him and tell him in person about want you want. It’s a sign that you take the relationship seriously. Never breakup through text or calls since it’s never make the situation clear. It leaves confusion especially on him and you don’t know how they react if you don’t tell him directly.

  1. Don’t Delay the Breakup

As soon as you realize that your feeling has changed, you have to think about “How do I tell my boyfriend I don’t wanna be with him” right away. Don’t delay it for any reason since you will never get to breakup this way and your relationship would be toxic. Also read How Do Guys Move On So Quickly After A Bad Breakup?

  1. Be Honest About Your Feeling

The only way you can convince your boyfriend to breakup is by telling him what you feel. You have to be honest in this and make it all clear. If you don’t tell him the truth, it will only hurt both of you. But also remember that putting too much of an honesty isn’t good either. You must know what you should and shouldn’t tell him.

  1. Say Your Reasons Clearly

You must have a good reason why you don’t want to be with him anymore. Before going to him, you have to be clear and certain about it. Don’t let anything hanging. Tell him fair and square about why do you want the breakup. If it’s necessary, tell him that it’s all about you, not him. It’s how you show your respect and will to breakup for good.

  1. Listen to His Opinion

Breaking up is not a narration or monologue. After you have done with your speech, give him his turn to say about his opinion. Let him finish his talk, don’t cut in or defend yourself. You must hear him out. He must be having bunch of questions and you have to is answer them as honestly as you want. Also read How to Cheer Yourself Up After a Bad Breakup with Your Lover

  1. Keep the Matter Private

Avoid breaking up in public spaces. You will never know what’s going to happen when you’re at it. There might be some scream, high toned voice, and many unexpected things that could happen. Choose a private location where it’s safe for an exploding reaction.

But keep it neutral. Don’t ask him to see you at your house, your office, or anywhere that affiliates with either of you. Breakup is easier when nobody see you and you are safe to express yourself.

  1. Don’t Give Friendship Offer

Okay, this is bullshit. Both of you need to move on after the breakup so what’s this friendship offer? It only causes confusion, especially on him, and you’ll find it harder to breakup. It’s okay if you have to cut off each other completely after this, since what you want is not to be with him anymore. If you want him to look back at your relationship as a precious memory, don’t ever do this. Also read How to Tell Your Ex That You Don't Want to Be Friends

  1. Don’t Use Something/one As Excuse

You are the one who want the breakup. You are the one who feel that your feeling has changed. Use the “I” word a lot when you talk to him. Don’t blame on something or use someone as the reason of the breakup. You have to be responsible for your own action.

  1. Be Sure That You Have Made a Right Decision

Many people hesitate when they’re about to breakup. They often wondering whether this is the right decision? What if I miss something good? Well, when you breakup with someone, of course you’re going to lose something, either good or bad. But if you are ready to take the risk, why don’t you do it?

Don’t take too long time over “how do I tell my boyfriend I don’t wanna be with him anymore?” Why do you have to hang on in a relationship if your heart has left anyway?

Michelle Devani
My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think.