How to Get Over Your First Love After 20 Years when You Met Them Again

Last updated on February 5, 2024 by Michelle Devani

Do you find it hard to get over your first love? Even after a long time ago? People says first love is the hardest to forget, even after years has passed you might still get stuck in your feeling. However, that does not mean you should keep hanging on your feelings. Your future would be better when you let go of those lingering feelings and focusing on someone new. But why is first love so hard to forget?

Based on a research paper titled “Changing Relationships”, it is explained that “the euphoria that is found in that first taste of love become a benchmark for any following relationships. As with the first time you do anything, the senses register your feelings much more strongly than they might if it were something that happens every day.”

With such strong emotions, it is easy to get it stuck in our mind and it becomes hard to forget even after a few years has passed. So the question now is, how to get over that feeling? Whether you want to forget your first love and lose all contact, or staying as friends in a platonic relationship, here are some ways on how to get over your first love after 20 years later. You may also find out about How to Get Over Your First Love When You See Him Everyday?


First, if you want to forget everything about your first love,

Stop telling yourself that things would never be better. Stop telling yourself that no one will ever love you as much as your first love does, stop telling yourself that you will not be able to love anymore. Stop telling yourself that your world is gonna end without your first love.

Furthermore, you should also work on repairing your self-esteem, and work on preparing yourself to become a better person. By working on this, you will be able to love better in your next relationship. And by having another person to love, who can love you the way you deserved to be loved, it would also be easier to get over your first love even after 20 years later. You may also find out about Why You Should Never Marry Your First Love

If you’re still having a hard time forgetting your first love, don’t hesitate to share to friends and family. Not every problem can be solved alone, and looking for support groups will help a lot. Go for a rant, or just asking for advice, and let your emotions out. Your friends and family will help your emotions to heal faster, and they can be there to back you up when you’re feeling down.

However, it might be possible that first love will never be able to be forgotten. If you have tried everything you can do, and still having difficulty getting over your first love, accept that your first love is there as a part of your journey. Accept that different people is in your life for a different reason, and for different phases in your life. Instead of focusing on getting over your first love, it can help to just accept and store the memories in your heart. Just be happy and keep moving forward with your life. You may also find out about How to Tell Your Boyfriend You Love Him for the First Time

Second, if you both still wants to become a part of each other’s life,

You can talk to your first love about your relationship heart-to-heart. Sometimes, the only way to forget is by getting a closure and understanding on why your relationship is not working. Ask one another, and reminisce on what has happened this past 20 years. Know that your relationship is not working for a reason. Don’t get too carried away when you remembered the good memories, and remember that after 20 years you and your first love is already a different person. If talking together and getting closure is not possible, accept that you won’t get a closure and move on.

You have to also keep in mind that It is harder to completely forget your first love when you’re constantly talking and having a close contact with him or her. It’s like quitting an addiction, the best way to forget is to avoid the thing you’re addicted to. Learn to control the urge of wanting to see your first love constantly, and you will find it faster to move on and forget. You may also find out about Ways to Tell Your Boyfriend You Love Him for the First Time

It is certain that it takes time, so whether you never had a chance with your first love, or whether the relationship between you two is not working, give yourself some time to grieve. Even after 20 years, it’s possible that you still have a hard time forgetting a special first love, so be patient. The love that is built up for your first love take a long time, and of course it will take time to deal with it. It is also possible that you are having a hard time forgetting because you’re hurt and your emotions has not healed yet. It would be best not to jump directly into another relationship, and take your healing time. You may also find out about How to Know He Loves You Even When He Doesn't Say It


Stop letting yourself stuck on what-ifs, or what could have been. You have to remind yourself that you have no control and even if you think the relationship between you and your first love might work out, with different circumstances and time what actually will be can be totally different. You don’t have to depend on another person, and you do have the power to create the life that you want. Take action to move on, and realize if it doesn’t work out in the past, then it is less likely to work out in the future, unless you both really are meant to be together.

Those are some ways on how to get over your first love after 20 years later. Take your time, seek help from friends and family, and be happy. Enjoy the process of getting over your first love, help yourself to move on and have a happier time. May you be able to get over your first love, and even if you can’t, hopefully you can just let it slide and become a memory in the past. Good luck and be happy on your new love!

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Michelle Devani
My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think.
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