How to Tell Your Stepchildren You are Pregnant

Last updated on May 7, 2024 by Michelle Devani

When you are married or remarried with a guy who has children from their previous partner, they are your biggest challenge. The most important thing is not to win his heart but to win theirs. As you are marrying the father, and the children are still underage, they would likely to live with their mothers, which makes you hard to bond with them.

But their existence cannot be neglected. They are the most important part of your husband’s life. So, amidst the joy of having a new baby, here is another important thing you have to think about: how to tell your stepchildren you are pregnant?

Regardless of your relationship with them, your stepchildren must going through an insecurity and jealousy of the yet to be born stepsibling. They are worried that their Dad might have share his love and probably love them less.

While it’s impossible not to tell them about it, breaking the news to them is another thing to be carefully considered.

  1. Discuss with Your Husband

So you’re going to tell your stepchildren that you are pregnant, who are your husband’s children. Discuss this matter before hand with your husband. He might come out with the best solutions since he knows them better than you are. Share all of your feeling to him. Tell him that you feel worried and insecure about how would they react on your pregnancy. Also read Why You Should Never Date a Divorced Man

  1. Their Mother Should Know First

You can’t underestimate the power of a mother on your stepchildren. If your stepchildren live with their mom, she has to know first. Lucky you if you are in a good term with them, so you can ask for their help. But if you are not, let your husband deal with his ex.

  1. Don’t Tell Them Yourself

This is the most important. Don’t think that telling them yourself make things better. You shouldn’t do this. If things are not good enough, you should leave it to your biological parents. They perfectly know which button to press and which to be avoided. In case you are present when your husband tell about your pregnancy, you better stay silent. Also read How to Tell Your Ex Wife Your New Wife is Pregnant

  1. Don’t Assure Them Nothing is Going to Change

Everyone knows it’s a big lie. With arrival of a new baby, things change. You have to take care about your baby, your husband will put more his attention to the baby as well, and this may cause a stir in your stepchildren’s heart. Assuring them about this only turn you into a liar once your child is born.

  1. Their Dad Has to Assure His Love Isn’t Gonna Change

What they have to be assured of is that their dad’s love isn’t going to change. The dad should convince their children that nobody can change how he feels about them. He will still love them the same and nothing in the world can take their place. Dad’s heart is big enough they can love all of you equally. Also read How to Deal with Rude Stepchildren

  1. Do Tell Them They are Special to You

For a stepmom who lives with their stepchildren, you would feel the change yourself. There will be less time to spend with them and you have to take care of yourself more. If you have a strong bond with your stepchildren, assure them that they are special for you. Even when you have less time to play with them, you still love them.

  1. Deal with the Possibility of Jealousy

Aside of how to tell your stepchildren you are pregnant, you have to think of yourself as well. Don’t think that you will be okay with this. As a first expectant, everything is a first for you. Unfortunately, your husband had been there. Things are not as surprising as for you to him, and it could derive your jealousy. You wish that this is his first time as well. Also read How to Tell Your Ex Partner That You're Pregnant

  1. Focus on Your Pregnancy

Enough worrying about your stepchildren. It’s okay to put them into your thought but it shouldn’t make you care less about your pregnancy. Always make yourself feel at home and cherish every moment you spend with your baby. Your health must be your first priority.

  1. Find Your Own Support System

Everything can get hard for you as you are living with a stepfamily. But don’t forget that you are loved. Share your joy and happiness with your loved ones. Tell your family and seek support from them. So you know that you’re not alone and there’s someone who know your feeling. Also read How to Tell Your Mother in Law That You are Pregnant

  1. Keep Up with the Change in Their Behavior

You will never know how your stepchildren will react. There might be anger, jealousy, denial, disappointment, etc. As an adult, you have to keep up with their behavior changes. Approach them slowly and smoothly. In the meantime, they will either accept the baby or completely deny it.

  1. Give Them Time to Make Up Their Feeling

When they are still unstable, leave them alone. Let them make up with their feeling and find out what they want. It’s important so that they won’t feel forced to accept the baby, which can make them assumed you are prioritizing it over them.

Becoming a stepmother who is expecting her first baby is not easy. Beside thinking about how to tell your stepchildren you are pregnant, you have to deal with unexpected things that comes out of you. While pregnancy hormones is unsettled and cause you mood swings, you stepchildren is another challenge.

In the middle of winning their heart, you have to take care of your health and your baby. Cherish each day of your pregnancy, experience things that you have never know before. Whenever you feel worried or insecure, share it with the one you love.

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Michelle Devani
My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think.
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