Is It Normal To Still Miss Your Ex Even Though You Have A New Boyfriend And You Love Him?

Last updated on June 7, 2022 by Michelle Devani

You've just moved on from a previous relationship and found yourself in love with someone new. Everything's going great until you suddenly find yourself missing your ex.

You're happy with your new boyfriend and you love him, but for some reason you can't keep your ex out of your head. So, is it normal to still miss your ex even though you have a new boyfriend and you love him?

Sometimes it may be because you're not really over him. You say you are, but deep down you know that you're just forcing yourself to get over him without really wanting to (there are also other hidden signs you haven't moved on from your ex.)

But other times thoughts about your ex may come the minute you're already in a new relationship and you're happy with them. The universe works in weird ways: thoughts of your ex don't come up when you're back to being single, but the minute you're ready for a new relationship and settled with someone new, he suddenly comes back into your life.

First and foremost, we need to understand why you suddenly miss your ex even though you have a new boyfriend and you love him.

Reasons You're Still Thinking About Him

1. They're Irreplaceable

For relationships that have lasted for at least two years or more, it's not easy to just move on to someone else. Moving on is one thing, but to move on completely and be with someone else can be difficult.

2. Not Enough Time To Heal

not enough time to heal

People can be emotionally vulnerable without them actually realizing it. You may be holding onto your ex because you have an emotional attachment to them, and this may be something you're suppressing deep down inside.

3. They Mean a Lot to You

Your ex may be someone who means a lot to you, whether it be someone you've known from high school or it could be your best friend. Cutting ties may not be an option for someone who holds dear to you, which explains why it's tough to stop thinking about them. It's especially hard if they moved on faster than you and started dating a month after you broke up.

So, what do you do when you miss your ex even though you have a new boyfriend and you love him?

There are three key words: reflect, communicate, decide.

1. Reflect

Think about those things you're feeling for your ex. Are you thinking about the times you spent together? Are you thinking about why you broke things off? Do you wish you never broke up and still stayed together? It could be a wave of different feelings, but think about why you're really thinking about them and why you really miss your ex. Figure out what those feelings really are before you make any rash decisions that you might regret.

2. Communicate

Once you've understood what you're feeling and why you're feelings those things, it's important that you talk things out with your new partner. Approach them in a subtle and gentle manner in a way that he will understand what you're going through. Don't immediately bring up the topic in a manner that he will walk out of the room. You may also want to talk to him about your past relationship and why it's bothering you so that he may be able to help. Either way, make a compromise.

3. Decide

decide

If you still have thoughts about your ex after days or even weeks or months have passed, then it's time to decide if you're really suited to stay in the relationship or if you need some time for yourself first. Don't rush things, and most of all don't force yourself to be in the relationship if you know that you're just going to feel uneasy. There's a fine line between moving on and being ready for a new relationship, and it's incredibly important for you to understand that difference.

To summarise, yes it is normal to think about your ex even though you're now happily in a new relationship, but you really have to think about why you think about them especially if you start missing them.

The most important thing to do is to not panic. If feelings for your ex suddenly resurface, think about whether or not you should tell your boyfriend that you still have feelings for your ex. Being honest is key, but also understand the consequences of your words and actions.

Does it feel like pulling teeth getting him to say how he feels about you?
Some men can be very gaurded and closed when it comes to expressing how they feel - it can almost feel like they are pulling away from you. Many women make the mistake of pushing their man to say how they feel, but this is actually one of the worst things you can do as it can push him away further.

To get him to really show you how he feels and communicate how much he appreciates you, there's one simple thing, although often overlooked, thing you can say to him today that taps into how men are wired and can often lead to them suddenly pouring their heart out. My friend recorded a quick free video (click to watch) that shows exactly how to do that.

Michelle Devani
My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think.
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