Should I Tell My Boyfriend I Still Have Feelings For My Ex?

Last updated on July 7, 2024 by Michelle Devani

Right now your relationship is going great. You love your boyfriend and he loves you back. Still, you can't help but wonder if you should tell him that you still have feelings for your ex.


Reasons You Should Tell

Is your heart telling you to just be honest with your boyfriend? Well here are more reasons so you can be sure of it:

1. He Doesn’t Get Jealous Easily

Should I tell my boyfriend I still have feelings for my ex? It’s easy to say yes when you know your boyfriend doesn’t get jealous easily. This means that it’s safe to be honest with your feelings. It’s different when you’re dating a jealous guy. He might take it the wrong way.

2. You Are Open With Each Other

you are open with each other

Are you and your boyfriend open with each other? If the two of you are comfortable to talk about anything then you can also admit your feelings for your ex. In case the two of you made a promise to be open then you need to tell him. Choosing to admit your feeling to your boyfriend can be so freeing.

3. He’s A Chill Person

Another thing to consider when you’re asking yourself should I tell my boyfriend I still have feelings for my ex? A chill boyfriend would just shrug it off. He won’t really mind it because you’re with him anyway.

You no longer have business with your ex so your boyfriend won’t really think about it too much. A chill boyfriend is usually more easy going about this kind of stuff. So you’re lucky if you’re dating one!

4. He Hates When You Keep Secrets

The last thing you want to do to your boyfriend is to make him feel betrayed. If he hates it when you keep secrets for him, start spilling already. Tell him about the feelings that you still have for your ex.

A dating coach advises that couples have a lower risk of breaking up by being honest. When your boyfriend doesn’t receive this news too well, say these Things to Say to Reassure Your Boyfriend You Love Him.

5. Your Relationship Is Solid

Yes, you can tell your boyfriend if your relationship is solid. It’s so strong that you know nothing and nobody can tear the two of you apart. You have nothing to worry about. Your boyfriend will understand and even offer a solution to it.

Having feelings for your ex won’t cause any trouble to the relationship at all. But if your relationship is quite shaky then you need to think twice.

6. It’s Something Serious

How long have you had these feelings for your ex? If it’s something serious then you must speak to your boyfriend about it. It’s not fair to be in a relationship with him but you still have feelings for your ex.

The relationship is meaningless. Your boyfriend deserves to know the truth. For some people, this can actually be considered emotional cheating. But here's What to Do When Your Boyfriend Has Feelings for Someone Else.

Reasons You Shouldn’t Tell

reasons you shouldn't tell

Somehow, you don’t think that admitting your feelings is a good idea. You might be right and here are some reasons why you shouldn’t tell your boyfriend:

1. He Has A Temper

When you wonder should I tell my boyfriend I still have feelings for my ex, remind yourself about your boyfriend’s temper. Is he usually a cool-headed person or does he have a temper? Make sure you know How to Deal with a Douchebag Boyfriend.

It won’t be a good idea to be honest if your boyfriend has a temper. You don’t want to hurt the relationship. Most importantly, you don’t want to hurt yourself. It’s better to keep those feelings for your ex to yourself.

2. He Hates Your Ex

Dating experts recommend minimizing conversations about an ex when you’re in a serious relationship. It can potentially hurt the relationship in the long run. So if you know that your boyfriend hates your ex, don’t bring it up. At all.

There’s no point of being honest to your boyfriend about it. It’s an even worse mix if your boyfriend has a temper. We have these Sweet and Cute Things to Say to Your Boyfriend When He Got Mad at You that you can always use.

3. You Are Currently In An Argument With Him

Don’t tell your boyfriend about your feelings if you’re currently in an argument with him. It’s only going to make things worse. Nobody wants to hear about an ex when they’re arguing with someone they love. If your boyfriend finds out, he will start to hate you. He might even want to break up with you!

4. It Will Ruin The Relationship

Do you treasure your relationship? Are you trying to save it? Then don’t tell your boyfriend about your feelings for your ex. It will ruin the relationship. Not every guy is willing to hear the truth.

The truth hurts and he might start to wonder if you’re the right person to have in his life. He’ll start to push you away. Before you know it, the relationship has ended and you are left with nothing but your feelings for your ex.

5. He Gets Suspicious Easily

he gets suspicious easily

This one is a bit similar to a jealous boyfriend. But a boyfriend who gets suspicious easily tends to be more annoying. So think about this if you’re asking yourself should I tell my boyfriend I still have feelings for my ex? A suspicious boyfriend may not know the truth. Here are other Types of Boyfriends You’ll Have in Your 20s .

However, he can sense that something isn’t right. He will start to watch your every move and every word you say. Reading too much into your actions. If you ever decide to be honest with him, be prepared with his overly protective behaviors.

6. The Feeling Is Temporary

Sure you still care about your ex. But it’s nothing serious. You know the feeling is temporary. It’s just something that pops out every now and then. You’re not sure what it means but you don’t really care about it. The right thing to do is to not tell your boyfriend about it. The temporary feeling will go away eventually. Don’t risk your relationship for something so trivial.

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Michelle Devani
My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think.
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