My Ex-Boyfriend Contacted Me During No Contact, What Should I Do?

Last updated on May 9, 2024 by Michelle Devani

Is texting your ex-boyfriend during no contact permissible? Experts say no and there is a reason behind it. But, what if it is the other way around? Before we go any deeper into the discussion, we need to understand what no contact means.

Usually, when a couple has just experienced a breakup, moving on is not an easy task for one or both parties because their mind seems like it is temporarily insane when they are going through heartbreak. Even though they logically understand that their relationship is over with, alas, their heart finds it difficult to just move on. This is why people need no contact period.

If you have been experiencing the same thing and decided that you would have that no contact period for about a month or two before you reached out to your ex-boyfriend again, congratulations! It is actually a wise move.

No contact period would give you time to recover from the heartbreak without making an awful mistake that would push him away. However, suddenly, a problem had arisen. Your ex-boyfriend contacted you during no contact. Now, will you break the no contact rule by responding to him? What should you do?


Know The Reason

know the reason

If your ex-boyfriend contacts you during no contact to get back together, then you need to respond to him. He either wants to see how you are doing or to work on getting back together with you.

If you refuse to text him back and discuss it, you may end up pushing him away for good because he will probably think that the relationship is over for real and therefore, decide to move on.

Given the scenario above, not contacting back can cause more trouble than it should. Remember that you cannot tell what his intention is by just his initial texts. Even if he indeed wants to get back together, his initial texts may just be asking about your well-being. That is why I suggest you text back and see where the conversation will lead you from there.

What To Do

What should you do when your ex-boyfriend contacted you during no contact? Take a look at these suggestions below.

1. Wait And Do Not Rush

No, you would not want to look needy or desperate. No, you would not want to respond immediately to your ex-boyfriend's text.

In this case, all you need to do is give it at least several hours before you respond to his text. Do not give him the impression that you are just sitting alone on your sofa and waiting for his text.

2. Keep It Short

When it is time for you to respond, keep your text short and hostile. Do not text your ex-boyfriend how much you miss him or send him a lengthy message about everything that is happening in your life while he is not around. A short message will encourage him to keep texting you back and keep the conversation going.

You may also want to read How to Tell Him You Miss Him Without Sounding Desperate and Clingy.

3. Positive Message

Make sure you radiate some kind of positive energy in your messages. Why is that? It is an easy question. Nobody likes to be around a downer. Depressing messages will only push your ex-boyfriend any further.

Additionally, you would not want to seem overly clingy or desperate. Be someone fine being on their own. Do not make him feel like you are trying to tangle him in a relationship.

4. Do Not Get Carried Away

do not get carried away

When you start to talk again with your ex-boyfriend, there is a tendency to carry out the conversation for too long. If you keep responding to his text, again and again, it will only make you seem needy or make him bored.

That is why you need to evaluate the conversation after a while. If it is not anything serious, then perhaps it is about time you end the conversation.

When you decide to end the conversation, make sure to be polite and let him know that you should put the conversation to an end. It will likely put him in the mindset where he wants to keep texting you and feels like he needs to contact you again some other time.

5. Be Wary

Always be wary and careful. Even if it does not always happen but in some cases, an ex-boyfriend reaches out because he is lonely, craves sex, or just misses the comfort of being together with you. Whatever it is, there are a lot of reasons why he contacts you and that is not because he still loves you.

Those are the things you may want to do when your ex-boyfriend contacted you during no contact. Bottom line, be careful about how you respond and calculate every move because he might not actually want to get back together.

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Michelle Devani
My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think.
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