How To Tell Him You Miss Him Without Sounding Desperate (31 Ways To Tell A Guy You Miss Him Without Sounding Needy) 

Last updated on February 14, 2024 by Michelle Devani

Are you hoping to win back your ex?

Maybe you’re thinking about telling him you miss him, but you’re worried about sounding desperate? 

Perhaps you’re wondering if there’s a smoother way to let him know how you feel? 

If so, this guide is here to help you out. It is packed with some useful tips for telling someone you miss them without sounding too desperate. 

However, before I begin explaining these tips, it’s really important for you to understand the following fact.

If your ex is also keen to get back together, it’s almost impossible that he’ll consider you as too desperate. 

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It’ll put you in the best position to reveal your feelings towards him, for sure. Read on for my tips on doing this in the smoothest way possible.


31 Ways To Tell Him You Miss Him Without Sounding Desperate

Those first few days, weeks, or months into a new relationship can be a little bit frustrating. Not because you aren’t having fun or loving every moment. However, how do you tell him you miss him without overdoing things? You want to keep that air of mystery, and probably maintain the upper hand. 

So if you just talked to this guy last night and miss him immediately after you wake up, it may seem desperate texting him right away. Or maybe you and this person just had a fight and you miss him already. Of course, you don’t want to be the first to break the ice. Plus, you probably want to know if he misses you too.

What do you miss about him? If it’s an ex, what was so special about the relationship that makes it worth missing? Yes, communication has gotten quite easy with the constant addition of new features like GIFs and emojis. However, there are always more creative and romantic ways to tell a guy you miss him without sounding desperate. 

So, if you’re interested in mastering the art of effective communication via text, voice, and video calls, here are some tips and tricks on how to tell him you miss him without sounding desperate. 

1. Be subtle

Is this relationship new? Does this guy get extra cocky whenever you admit to loving or missing him more than usual? Then it's best to stick to the subtlety lane. There's no point in being too obvious when trying to pass your message across. That also means you shouldn’t overstate your feelings or be too dramatic about it. 

For example, rather than saying, “I miss you so much, I don't know how I get through every night, you're just the only one that can calm me down or make me feel like life’s worth living.” Some people would love to hear this, while that may seem a little extra to others.

So, rather say something like, “Wow, I didn’t know it would feel so strange waking up alone”. You’ve passed your message across without seeming too needy. 

2. Be direct

A person can suddenly lose interest in a discussion when everything is all over the place. You’re fidgety, using too many adjectives, and then get flustered easily. However, if you just simply say I miss you directly, that takes the stress off and also gets your message across faster. 

If he misses you too, he’ll say so and both of you can either move on to another topic or enjoy a natural back-and-forth on what you miss most about each other. 

3. Don’t overdo things

It’s easy to overthink the situation and start doing too much. Remember, if you keep it simple you won’t look desperate. Stay true to yourself and be direct. Don’t try to copy a long, cliche text from the internet. Also, this is not the time to get overly emotional as well. 

Don’t make it look like you couldn’t eat, drink or breathe when he wasn’t around. That’s why it’s best to try airing out your emotions before you text, call, or meet up with this guy. 

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4. Be genuine

Too many relationships are riding off other celebrities' lives or what is seen on social media. You don’t have to copy or try to relive what you see in the newspapers or online. A lot of that is for clout, which is why you should be genuine when sharing your feelings. Ask yourself, what would *insert name* do?

5. Don’t be cheesy

A lot of people are ‘allergic’ to cheesy sentences. You know, those funny-looking texts that have been passed down for generations. If you can just forget about those cheesy-sounding words and be straightforward, it will take a lot of tension off. If you notice that whatever you’re saying is making him uncomfortable, pause, and maybe listen more for a while before speaking again. 

6. Sprinkle a little sarcasm on top

Sarcasm is that dialogue booster that can make all the difference. It’s light-hearted, funny, and still twisted in a way. Just be careful though, there’s light and dark sarcasm. Sometimes, if you take things too far, the other party could end up offended. You should only use sarcasm if this guy understands you and is equally a master of the art. 

For example, if he texts you out of the blue you could reply, “Wait, *insert name here* you’re still alive?” that will certainly let him know that you’ve noticed how seldom he tries to reach out. 

7. Use hints

use hints

When you use hints to convey a message, you don’t directly say the words out loud. For example, rather than saying ‘I miss you,’ you can say “I really enjoyed the long walk we had yesterday. It was almost therapeutic. We should do that again soon, yes?

You’ve said so many things without sounding desperate. You enjoy his company, you miss him, and would love to hang out again. 

8. Ask to meet up with him

Talking in person may be better than talking over the phone. So, if you don’t really know what to say at the time, simply ask him if you can both link up later. That gives you time to think of what to say or what to do. In fact, sometimes, all you need to do is show up and enjoy each other’s company. 

9. Use GIFs and emojis

These modern-day assistants make it so easy to translate emotions without saying much. Simply sending a hug, kiss, or heart emoji will clearly translate your feelings. The question is now how often or how many gifs or emojis you should send. Don’t be overly generous when using these tools. Just one hug emoji is enough to convey your message. 

10. Timing is everything

Understand that this person has a life outside the relationship he has with you. He can’t be available to talk or respond to your messages at all times. In fact, when he’s busy and under pressure, that may not be the best time to send an ‘I miss you’ text. Probably do so early in the morning or in the evening when he’s already settled. 

11. Say it in the middle of a conversation

Are you thinking about the right time to utter those three magic words? The truth is, there’s no formula to this. You’ll simply have to relax and enjoy the actual conversation while waiting for the perfect moment to chip in the fact that you miss him. 

However, it’s best to start or continue the conversation naturally, and then at the pique where both of you pause to catch your breath, just say it. 

12. Say it casually

Don’t make a big deal out of this. It’s actually cute when couples say they miss each other. So don’t overthink things because you may just get worked up for nothing. Some of the people who live the most chilled lives put less thought into trivial things. 

So, don’t think of the most sophisticated words to use. In fact, those three simple words are just enough. If you say it like you mean it, he’ll get your message. However, if you try to complicate the message, that’s when you’ll appear a bit desperate

13. Remind him of something funny

Did something hilarious happen to one or both of you recently? Or is there a funny story you haven’t shared with him in a while? That is the best time to ring in those “babe, remember when we got stuck in a club with underage students and the cops showed up?” you know those kinds of stories that are filled with so many hilarious memories? 

If you bring this up out of the blue, he’ll certainly laugh about it. However, if he’s smart, he'll know you remembered because you miss him. 

14. Send a funny text

send a funny text

It’s called comic relief for a reason, funny words, texts, videos, and pictures always have a way of setting the mood. Think of a funny movie, video, or picture that will light up his day. 

Simply sending him a text with a hilarious picture attached should tell him how much you miss and adore him. You don’t have to say it, but if you put in so much effort into keeping every conversation fun and light, that should show how much you appreciate and love him. 

15. Don’t expect much in return

Being needy means that you’re very much dependent on the other person. It also means that you do or say emotionally exhausting things. It may not even be intentional, but certain words or actions will come off to the other party as being desperate. One way to tone things down is to cut off any extra expectations. 

Sometimes, people can hear the anxiousness in your voice when you say certain things. It's things like that that make you look desperate. So no matter how much you love and cherish this person, try not to expect them to always match your energy. That should happen naturally, it shouldn't be forced. 

16. Don’t sound needy

I know things aren’t always this straightforward, but here’s a simple tip; if you don’t want to appear needy then don’t sound desperate. Try to listen to yourself speak before even uttering the words. Is it too much? Are you overreaching? Then tone things down a little. 

If you can hear yourself before speaking or texting, it will help you control your tone and type the right words without sounding too extra. 

17. Think about the kind of person he is

Is this guy a romantic person? Does he love words of affirmation? Is he the kind of person that doesn’t really like hearing cheesy things? This should guide your steps when trying to figure out how to say “I miss you”. Once you know how a person will react if you say a certain thing, it becomes easier to choose your words and actions better. 

18. Let the conversation flow naturally

When people have that urge to tell a guy they miss them, they get in their heads too much and end up saying something awkward. There’s no need to get flustered, just continue chatting or talking with this person as well. Let the discussion naturally gravitate, and when an opportunity provides itself, let him know how you feel. 

This also means waiting for the right time in the conversation to chip in how much you miss him. You’ll certainly know when what you have to say relates to what is being discussed at the moment. So, don’t rush in or try to dominate the conversation. Wait patiently for the discussion to naturally present the perfect opportunity to mention that you miss him. 

19. Show him

It’s one thing to say you miss someone, and another to actually prove it. Action, they say, speaks better than words. So, rather than always admitting how much you miss your partner, try to show them instead. Do something you haven’t done in a while. Take out the trash, clean out a part of the house, plan a nice night out, and the like. 

When you do certain things for your spouse or partner, he’ll already see how much you miss him without you muttering any of those words. So, think about the things he really appreciates and try to surprise him by doing one of those things or more. 

20. Create healthy boundaries

People don’t understand how important it is to set healthy boundaries in relationships from the get-go. Don’t wait and assume that your partner will like or won’t like some things. Take some time and talk about what’s acceptable, comfortable, and not permitted. For example, it would be cool to discuss hiding each other's feelings or feeling shy or needy. 

When you talk about letting go, being open, what is allowed, and what both parties are comfortable with, you’re least likely to get on each other's nerves. So, if the relationship is progressing fast, take some time to do the needful. 

21. Come up with a safe word

come up with a safe word

Okay, this is not what you think. In fact, it’s similar to setting healthy boundaries before kicking off a new relationship. If you both don\t know how to feel or don’t want to push things too early, creating a safe word is a great idea. You and your partner can come up with easy code words that represent various things. 

For instance, if you say pandas are quite nice, it could mean that you miss the other party. So whenever you’re talking and say those few words, the other party will know what you're really trying to say. 

22. Call him

A lot of times, people focus on just texting their partners whenever they feel bored or actually miss them. However, if you want to make a bolder statement, go the extra mile. Calling someone is totally different from texting them. A call requires more effort because you have to respond in real time. 

Plus, you would only spare your time to call someone because you want to hear their voice. So while it may not seem so, whenever you call rather than text, your boyfriend surely appreciates the extra effort.

23. Show concern

Did your partner’s voice sound different when talking? Did he sound a bit stressed or tired? Then express concern. Sometimes we have the urge to ask others how their day went and other things they are doing. 

Showing concern could help the other party see how caring you are. Maybe your boyfriend sounded less cheerful than usual, don’t suppress the urge to talk to him about it. When you randomly bring back things that are important or notice vague things the other party was trying to conceal, it shows how much you miss them. 

24. Send them a gift

Sending gifts is a perfect way to tell a spouse or family member that you miss them. If someone you miss has been out of town for some time, it would be nice to send them a meaningful gift. When you buy things for people, it lets them know they are on your mind. You both may not do a lot of talking, but he’ll certainly appreciate it when you pick something up for him. 

It’s important to put thought into buying the right gifts. Plus, buying them something they like or have long-desired shows the other party how thoughtful, cool and romantic you are. 

25. Remind them about something important

If you don’t want to sound desperate or clingy, there is always a way out. You don’t even have to mention that you miss the person. Just think about something they are really interested in and bring it up. For example, if he’s a soccer fan and a major match is coming up you can remind me of that. 

A simple, “Lol, guess what’s showing this evening by 8 pm?” would let him know that you’re thinking about him. He’ll automatically know that you miss him when you start showing a bit more interest in the things that he loves. That’s why this is the best way to tell and show the other party how much you miss them.

26. Use the good old, “I wish you were here’ line.

Things happen every day, a grumpy boss, bad traffic, a bad hair day, a failed sale/project, family issues, and the like. Does your partner usually help you out with life’s challenges as a whole? Then this could be the perfect way to slide in the fact that you miss him without actually saying it. 

For example, you could say something sweet like, “I’m on my way home and I just got some popcorn and ice cream. I wish you were here so we could sit down, watch a movie and enjoy these guilty pleasures together.” There’s no heart that wouldn’t warm up immediately and realize that they are missed and treasured. 

27. Schedule a video call

Are you in a long-distance relationship? Are you tired of sending cheesy or romantic texts expressing your feelings every time? Then it’s time to talk to him face to face. Yes, I know you’re not physically in the same place. However, that doesn’t stop you from having long conversations on the phone. 

You have the chance to look him in the face and simply smile. He’ll certainly know how much you miss him from the excited and cheerful way you speak to him. In fact, the mere fact that you want to see his face every now and then suggests that you miss him. 

28. Give him a reason why

give him a reason why

Anybody can wake up in the morning and send an “I miss you message”. Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with being straightforward. However, these vague words can hardly explain how you are truly feeling. Okay, so you miss this person, what exactly do you miss about them? 

Is it their smile, warm presence, reassuring words, or simply the magical way they light up your life? You should be able to tell someone you miss how amazing or cute they are. If this person is helpful, loving, funny, sensual, inspiring, protective, and more, let him know. 

So, when next you are telling someone you miss them, don’t forget to tell them exactly why their presence is missed. 

29. Use reverse psychology

“It’s cute how much you pretend not to care, but you know that I know you miss me so bad 😜” statements like this take the spotlight off you and put them on the other party. If he truly misses you, he won’t be able to deny it. Plus, if he jokes around and insists it’s you that missed him more, you can maturely accept it. 

This is also a great strategy to use when you want to find out if someone you miss feels the same way too. You’re gently forcing his hand in this case. He either has to admit that he misses you a lot, or explain why he doesn’t. But either way, if he does throw the question back at you, then there’s your chance to plainly admit how much you missed him.

30. Don’t go on the offensive

It’s so important for couples to develop healthy ways whenever they communicate with each other. So many people forget that there are so many ways to say one thing. Your tone, body language, and choice of words matter. For example, you shouldn’t start out by accusing this guy of not missing you

Even if it’s the truth, don’t attack him just because you are feeling unloved. Going on the offensive isn’t the smartest way to communicate. The reason is simple, the other party will also go on the defensive. The best way to tell someone you miss them is by being as respectful, playful, and genuine as possible. 

31. Plan a romantic gesture

Grand gestures may seem cheesy to some. However, if you are in a serious relationship this is a great way to show your partner how much you miss him. Think about something meaningful and romantic that will make him feel loved and treasured. Has he been away for a while? Or did you just see him right before he left for work? 

It doesn’t matter, if you’re feeling industrious and have the time to plan the perfect surprise then go ahead. It could be as basic as placing rose petals on the ground, buying a bottle of his best wine, or planning the perfect movie night. However, if you plan on going big, invite them to a helicopter trip around the city or get tickets for a weekend getaway. 


How do you tell a guy you miss him without sounding desperate?

There are smart ways to tell a guy you miss him without actually saying the words I miss you. You won’t sound too cheesy or desperate either if you text a direct message that’s not too cheesy or overly romantic. Additionally, timing is everything when texting a guy you miss. 

Sending a cheesy text out early in the morning or late at night will certainly make you look desperate. So, it’s better to wait until lunchtime, or in the evening about an hour after you’re back from work. Send a straightforward message and avoid overdoing things with too many emojis, questions, or adjectives. 

How do you tell a guy you miss him without being clingy?

One of the best ways to admit you miss a guy without being clingy is by actually giving him space. Understand that this person is busy and has other things to do. Also, choose the right timing; don’t just message him whenever you feel like it. 

Additionally, don’t message him too many times in one day. Give him some space to do other things and maybe wait until he’s free before telling him how you feel. Plus, if you feel a bit conflicted on what to text, just ask him to meet you for a quick drink or meal instead. 

Is it OK to tell a guy you miss him?

It is very okay to let a guy know you miss him. Especially if you are in a long-distance relationship, committed or long-term relationship. The real question is, do you feel comfortable telling this guy you miss him? Does he strike you as the kind of person who won’t feel awkward or even cocky when you say you miss him? Then go ahead and tell him you miss him

Or maybe you don’t know how to tell him you miss him without sounding desperate. Just focus on doing so in a cute way, or find other smart or even sarcastic ways to let him know that he’s missed.

Does saying I miss you sound needy?

A lot of things may appear as ‘needy’ to different people, depending on how you pass the message across. Telling your boyfriend or husband that you miss them should certainly be normal. However, if it’s a casual or relatively new relationship, you may have to tone things down when saying things like this. 

These three words should be endearing and should bring warmth to the heart of the receiving party. Let’s say a family member, colleague, spouse, or partner travels or has been away for a while. It’s certainly okay to say ‘I miss you.’ However, it should be direct, necessary, and professional if need be. 

What to text a guy to tell him you miss him?

There are different things to text a guy whenever you’re missing him. If it’s not a boyfriend, spouse, or lover, then avoid overdoing things. However, if you are in a relationship with this person, it’s best to personalize the message and only use these examples as a template. “I just want to wrap my arms around you and cuddle”. “Missing you is slowly driving me crazy”. “I just love how you’re over there doing your own thing and I’m over here missing you 🙄 “ Remember to spice things up and personalize every message so it doesn't sound out of place or unusual. 

To Conclude

Relationships are not always easy. Especially when things are still new and you don’t want to push boundaries. Telling a new boyfriend that you miss may sound too needy or a bit desperate. However, you cannot hide your feelings either. So the best way to express yourself is by sending a cute, creative, or even direct message letting him know how much his presence is missed. If you get to talk to them in person or over the phone, it’s still important to add a little tact and spontaneity to your discussion. 

The tips I have provided above should help you when next you’re reaching out to someone you miss. If you have any thoughts on the topic, please leave your comments below and share this article with others who need it. 

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Michelle Devani
My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think.

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