The matter of respecting parents in Islam is a big deal. It is so big a deal that there are various inscriptions in the noble Quran about it.
It is recorded by Abu Hurairah that a man asked the prophet whom amongst all human beings should interact with more properly. The prophets replied with his mother twice. He further probed, "then who else?".
The answer that came was "his father". This goes a long way to highlight the importance of parents in Islam. Mothers are tasked with caring for the family. They are responsible for loving and protecting the children. The mother carried in her body and gave birth to the child. While the father earns a living to provide and meet the needs of all members of the family.
So the best children can do is to respect his/her parents. This will make the parents happy. It is a non-verbal way of telling your parents that you are grateful for their sacrifice. The Quran mentions parents at least fifteen times.
Here are some Quran verses about respecting parents.
This is found in the Surah al Isra. It says in this noble book that Allah has decreed that you worship Him. And that one must be dutiful to his/her parents. If any or both parents have attained old age, you should never utter a word of disrespect. You should also never shout at them but address them with honor. There is then the prayer that there should be lowered unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy.
Also, the Surah al Isra advises believers to pray unto the Lord to bestow upon them His mercy as the parents raise them when they are young. The verse proves that respect for one's parents comes second. The first is to worship Allah. It expresses that one ought to subject his or her parents to good treatment.
Another verse that enjoins all to obey thy parents is Quran 29:8. It says that man has been admonished to be dutiful and good to his parents. There is however an exception. One should not obey his/her parents if it goes against the will of the Almighty. This is a divine decree which must be adhered to.
And even where our parents try to make us commit the greatest sin against the Almighty, we should treat them with justice and consideration.
Quran 31:15 expresses Allah has instructed men concerning their parents. It makes particular mention of the mother. It says that your mother bore you through frailty, and catered for your needs. Thus, gratitude to Allah and your parents is of utmost necessity. He further went on to say that to him all things return.
He asked believers to be good parents. It is only right that children reciprocate this good treatment to their old parents when they are of age.
Per Quran 46:15 enjoins all men to be kind to their parents. It highlights the role of the mother in his life from childhood till he reaches maturity. And when that person reaches forty years, one of the most important prayers he ought to do must include his parents. This is to show gratitude to the Almighty for blessing him/her with his/her parents.
This has enabled him/her to work righteousness. Amongst the parents, his mother is usually mentioned. It does not mean that the father is not important. On the contrary, he is. However, the mother had the child in her womb. This insinuates that Allah understands the moment of suffering she had to go through, to give birth to her child.
It is a saying in Islam that Paradise lies under the feet of the mother. This puts mothers in high regard. This means that if you disrespect your mother, you cannot enter Paradise.
Quran 2:233 is another verse that talks about respecting parents. It talks about the role of mothers and fathers. According to this, per their honor code, mothers ought to breastfeed their children for two full years. And the father shall cater to the needs of the family. One of which includes clothing.
It gives a certain standard for how parents ought to care for their children. By highlighting their significance, it inadvertently cautions all Muslims against treating their parents with dishonor.
This Hadith by Abu Dawud asks if there is a way of being devoted to one’s parents after they die. The reply he was given was that he should pray for his parents. He should also ask for forgiveness for them, do their will, and glorify their friends. This means that one can also make efforts to honor his parents even after they are dead.
Respect comes in many forms. Some of these forms are those listed above
In this hadith by Snad Jayyid, one seeks knowledge on how to perform the jihad. Jihad is an Arabic word that means striving towards an honorable purpose. He, however, does not know how to go about it. He was then asked if his parents were still alive. He retorted that his mother is. He was then advised to serve Allah by being devoted to his parents.
According to this narrative, when that is done, it could be likened to have performed hajj, umrah, and jihad. All of which are important rituals in Islam.
In Surah al-baqarah, the prophet Muhammad is asked what should Muslims spend. He replied that one ought to spend on parents, relatives, orphans, the needy, and the traveler. This is a sure way of attracting Allah's blessings. The fact that the prophet mentions parents as his first answer tells us that one way of respecting your parents is by also spending on them.
Thus, before you extend kindness to any stranger, give your parents the appropriate kindness they deserve.
In Surah an Nisa, all Muslims are encouraged to worship Allah and not commit adultery. They are also advised to do good to parents, relatives, orphans, the needy, the remote neighbor, the farther neighbor, the friend beside you, the traveler, and those whom your hands possess. Again, parents are the first group to be mentioned in this list of people one ought to give good treatment to.
Surah Luqman establishes that it has been ordained by divine decree that every Muslim must care for his or her parents. Per this surah, the mother nursed the child so he or she should be grateful to the Almighty and his parents. This is because, in the end, all men return to Him. This somehow insinuates judgment against ungrateful and disrespectful sons and daughters.
This surah further goes on to tell all believers that even if the parents make the child sin against the Almighty. They should still treat them with appropriate kindness and lead them back to Him in repentance.
This surah cautions against offensive words to parents. Uff is a word of disdain. According to this surah, one must never use ‘uff’ on his parents. This is a sign of great disrespect against parents. And there will be consequences associated with this act.
The Quran says that you ought to be dutiful to your parents. It goes on to further say that if one or both of your parents are in their old age, never shout at them. Neither should you speak to them disrespectfully. Rather, treat them with honor.
According to the Holy Quran, children must honor their parents. This duty comes right after one's duties to Allah.
The Quran advises that every believer ought to obey Allah, his parents, the environment, and all other persons with honor.
Dua means invocation. The word is traced to an Arabic word, which means "to summon". Dua for parents is a kind of prayer made for parents. In the Surah Al-Isra, it expressly stated " And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say, My Lord, have mercy on them, as they raised me when I was a child".
You honor your parents by treating them with kindness. You have to be grateful to your parents. Pay heed to their words.
To end with, good treatment to your parents is one of the fundamental obligations in Islam, which all Muslims must have knowledge of. Parents sacrifice a lot in raising children. It is only fair that you show your gratitude to them by showing them kindness, remembering them in your prayers, and obeying their words. When you adhere to this noble word, you will be immensely rewarded by the Almighty. This is because you are doing righteous deeds.
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