Reasons Why Lovers Can't Be Friends #1 It's True

Last updated on June 12, 2022 by Michelle Devani

You hear people say all the time that you can never be friends with your ex-lover, but is it true? The answer is yes, generally, though there are certainly some exceptions. But what you can be sure is that you and your ex-lover won’t be able to stay “just friends”, or if you have feelings for a friend, then you too can’t stay just friends without one of you getting hurt. Especially if there are no Signs Your Ex Boyfriend Wants to Get Back Together, then these reasons are all the more true.

Top Twelve Reasons Why Lovers Can't Be Friends

Let's check out the reasons why lovers can't be friends:

1. It’s Awkward

You may try to ease the tension, make small talks and put on a play that nothing more had happened between the two of you. But you can never completely shut off the uneasiness that settles in between, or the reminder that the arms you once wrapped yourself with are now reserved for just brief, friendly, hugs. For a reversed situation, you must know the Reasons Why You Should Break Up with Your Boyfriend.

2. It’s Hard To Resist Old Feelings

it's hard to resist old feelings

Similarly, you can’t help but remember about the old times. When you used to kiss and walk down the park hand in hand, the adrenaline rush when you first stripped down in front of each other, the longing when you didn’t meet for a week… Those won’t ever be completely erased and you’ll be reminded of the good times whenever you are together.

3. It Will Never Be Just Platonic Love

Remember when you made the promise to keep in touch and stay friends following the breakup? Yeah, that’s not going to happen. The physical desire you once had won’t disappear overnight, and over the years the relationship will never truly be just a platonic one. At least, not without one feeling tortured and pained.

4. It Hurts

You’re genuinely supportive of him or her, but in the end of the day you realize that you’re only hurting yourself. No matter how much you deny it, you know deep down that you still love them. So what good is there in sticking around and being “friends” when you’re the only one getting hurt? That's the reasons why lovers can't be friends.

5. Moving On Gets Harder

As a result, it becomes harder for you to move on. What you should be doing is putting distance between the two of you and focus on other things and the good people in your life. If you persist on being friends with your ex, you won’t be able to fully move on.

6. Loneliness Instead Of Happiness

The friendly terms you claim to have won’t do the trick. Deep down, you’ll still feel estranged from this man or woman you once called your one and only. You first agreed to stay friends hoping that you’d find happiness in it, instead you’ll only feel lonely knowing that you can never hold them in your arms again.

7. Developed Trust Issues

developed trust issues

One of the major reasons why a relationship ends is due to dishonesty between the couple. So if this is the case with you, then there will certainly be pre-established trust issues that as “friends”, you might have difficulties to overcome. The foundation of a good friendship is complete trust, so if you don’t have that, how could this friendship last?

8. They Will Play The Blame Game

It’s common among ex-lovers, though I am not claiming it’s ever-present. However, it’s often the case that partners, upon a breakup, will always try to lie the blame on each other. Sometimes the blame game won’t be obvious, but there will always be implications that one is trying to set the blame on the other.

9. The “You Should Get Back Together” Remarks

Perhaps some of your friends are impressed that the two of you can remain friends even after the conflicts and the inevitable breakup. As a result, they think that you’re actually made for each other and that you should get back together, because you make the cutest couple. The fact, however, is that you’re set that you don’t want to. Now, these talks get undesirable.

10. Issues With The New Lovers

Once you’ve successfully moved on from the breakup, you finally have yourself a new lover (or if your ex-lover does first). There’s no one to say that he or she won’t feel envious of this strange relationship you maintain with your ex.

11. Unanswered Questions Lead To What Ifs

It’s crucial to not leave any questions unanswered before officially ending your relationship, as this will often lead to wishful thinking. Tons of what-ifs will enter your mind and it will torture you day and night. What if you had seen it coming? What if you hadn’t gone out that night? What if he was just toying with you? What if you can be more than just friends right now?

12. Regrets Will Drive You Crazy

Finally, the most important one, staying friends with your ex will drive you crazy by first filling your mind with regrets. You’ll regret all the things you didn’t do and all the wrong decisions you made, while staying in touch is only reminding you of these things again.

More Reasons Why Lovers Can't Be Friends

more reasons why lovers can't be friends
  1. You’ll Need Your Space
  2. It’s A Good Idea to Move On
  3. You Can’t Talk About Personal Life
  4. You Don’t Honestly Want Them With Someone New
  5. It Won’t Ease the Pain
  6. You Have Other Friends
  7. It’s Impossible to Undo the Past
  8. You’re Just Getting Your Hopes Up
  9. It Can Be Unhealthy

It’s easy to just read these reasons why lovers can't be friends, but when you’ve just had an awful breakup and all you want to do is hope, you’ll cling on to whatever you can. Sometimes, though, it’s painful to fill yourself with false hope when you know that the best thing is to get on with your life. So you better ease up with these Ways to Make Yourself Happy After a Break Up and Ways to Move On After a Bad Relationship. Remember, there are other fishes in the sea.

Does it feel like pulling teeth getting him to say how he feels about you?
Some men can be very gaurded and closed when it comes to expressing how they feel - it can almost feel like they are pulling away from you. Many women make the mistake of pushing their man to say how they feel, but this is actually one of the worst things you can do as it can push him away further.

To get him to really show you how he feels and communicate how much he appreciates you, there's one simple thing, although often overlooked, thing you can say to him today that taps into how men are wired and can often lead to them suddenly pouring their heart out. My friend recorded a quick free video (click to watch) that shows exactly how to do that.

Michelle Devani
My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think.
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