If your boyfriend has a baby mama, things are bound to get awkward at one point in time or the other. It’ll be hard focusing on your relationship with him when he has another one to deal with. To avoid stirring up baby mama drama, you should know how to handle certain situations wisely.
Is he calling his kid’s mum every day that it makes you uncomfortable? If yes, then as his girlfriend, you should do something about it. Matters involving children are quite delicate so you need to be prudent with your methods. Here are eleven insightful ways to handle the situation with his baby’s mum.
The best way to handle a situation involving a child's life and the mum's is to talk to your man about it. Bottling up your concerns would only make you act irrationally and seem insensitive to your partner. Remember that communication is essential to maintain the stability of any relationship. Therefore, if you're concerned about your partner's actions, talking to him is the first step towards handling it.
You can start by asking whether he needs to speak with his baby mama so often. Getting to the root of the situation will help you see things from his point of view. It will also help you understand if there's something to worry about. If he's being unnecessarily defensive, you should look into it. Nevertheless, try to ensure your approach is as subtle and empathetic as possible.
It's one thing to ask your partner about his kid's mom, while it's another thing to express what’s bothering you. Understand that being straightforward can help you get to the bottom of things much faster.
For example, if he always leaves the room to talk to his kid’s mum, you should bring this up. More so, if he behaves strangely afterward, ask him about it. Remember that you’re his girlfriend and you have the right to talk to him about these things.
You shouldn’t be evasive because it’ll only make you look like a jealous person trying hard to intrude. Providing clarity will help you feel relieved and overthink less. If you're not constantly stressing about the situation, you’re likely to have a healthy conversation without arguing.
Another essential criterion in any relationship is respect. This is accomplished when both parties are honest with each other. Therefore, if you feel your partner isn't completely open about his baby momma, you should ask for transparency.
The plus side of this action is that it helps you accept the nature of things. With time, you might even understand why he has to talk to his baby’s mum as often as he does. It'll also help you come to terms with his patterns and schedules, thereby making things less suspicious or unsettling.
It might be initially hard for your partner to open up about his relationship with his baby's mum. Nevertheless, try to encourage him to warm up to you. You can even talk about things like child support or any other baby-related matter he mostly thinks about.
The last thing you want to seem like is a jealous maniac trying to prevent a father from being with his baby. Remember that he still needs to communicate with the child's mother for his baby's general well-being. Therefore, acting out of hand will undoubtedly leave the wrong impression.
You should always make your partner feel you have his best interests at heart. Supporting and understanding him is highly critical, even though you're not comfortable. This doesn't mean that you shouldn't speak up when your partner is going overboard. Nevertheless, try your best to accept the situation and be supportive.
If he has to speak with his baby's mum more than usual for a period, you should be understanding. Remember that you're his partner and you hold a prominent position in his life as well as his kids. Therefore, don't try to struggle with his children or you'll jeopardize your relationship with him.
Time is necessary for any change to manifest. Therefore, after speaking to your partner about his persistent chats with his kid’s mother, be patient for him to adjust. This entails taking your mind off the situation for a while. It might be tough to ignore the situation, but it's necessary to ensure peace between you and your significant other.
The best way for your partner to open up more is if you make him feel secure. You shouldn't put unnecessary pressure on him especially when it involves his children. Give him time to change his methods and involve you in his plans.
You can also try to start occasional conversations about the situation to keep him on his toes in a good way. This way, you'd avoid bottling things up, but also give your partner space to solve certain problems and incorporate new plans.
Trust is a vital key to building good relationships. It shows you respect your partner and regard their decisions. Having faith in your man also shows you believe he's a good father, especially when his kids are involved.
Insisting on your ways might make him think he's a bad parent. More so, he doesn't know what's best for his kids. Therefore, you should always believe he's a responsible man that can do the right thing.
If he sees that you regard his decisions, he'll be more willing to listen to your requests. On the contrary, harboring mistrust in the relationship will only tear things apart. The more you doubt his actions, the more he'll want to keep things away from you. This will further create a rift between the both of you. It's necessary to trust the process before making a final decision.
Every solid relationship is built on mutual understanding. Your partner craves for you to see things from his perspective, as well as you do. It's necessary to be open-minded, especially when it involves his baby and the mama. Remember that dating your partner is a choice. Therefore, you shouldn’t complain about the dynamics of the relationship.
You need to think about the bigger picture and put yourself in his shoes. You wouldn't want your partner keeping you away from your kid merely because of your relationship with him. Therefore, try to comfort him and it’ll go a long way. Make him understand that you're there through the tough times. This is the essence of companionship.
Instead of leading every discussion, try to slow down your pace and hear what your partner is saying. This will help you accommodate his point of view even better.
Another way to get on this partner's good side is trying to know his kid better. Have casual talks about his kids and show all-around interest in them. Make your partner see that you're trying to build a relationship with them and be a part of his life. This step would make him more comfortable with you, and he’ll easily include you in discussions — even the ones involving his kid's mum.
Remember that your partner's kids are inevitably a part of your life, therefore, it’s essential to show support. If you want to build a long-term relationship with him, you have to involve yourself in every crucial part of his life. You shouldn't make your discussions only about the mum but focus more on knowing the kids.
Ask about the things the baby likes, and your boyfriend's hope for the future. Where does he want his kids to go to school? What does he want them to become? Talks like these will show your partner how invested you are in the relationship.
Spending time around your partner when he's on the phone with his baby's mama can provide several benefits. I don't condone snooping but strongly believe you should get comfortable with the idea of him talking to her. Getting close will help alleviate your worries and prevent you from overthinking.
Note that it’ll be wrong to barge in on their discussions or try to monitor everything. Instead, let the process happen naturally. Be around him during his talks, but don't encroach on his personal space. More so, don't mope around until he's done. Preoccupy yourself so that nothing looks awkward.
You can also decide to have a chat after he's done. Ask about his kid's well-being and if everything is okay. Moreover, try to do this sparingly to avoid things becoming overbearing.
Speaking with others about your issues can ease the burden on your shoulders. You'll have a clearer head and would make better decisions when you discuss with someone else. Therefore, it's critical to speak to your family or friends whenever you have a dilemma in your relationship.
Understand that it doesn't have to be on a daily basis, but more frequently than you used to. Dealing with a partner's past can be cumbersome especially when kids are involved. You're likely to see things from one side because of your emotional connection with him. Whereas, third parties might provide a balanced judgment.
It's also crucial to speak to someone you can truly trust to avoid heeding negative advice. You shouldn't involve others merely for the fun of it, but because you know they can help.
Being with a man that has a baby is not the best fit for everyone. Some people can manage the situation while others can't. It's up to you to determine if it's something you can live with for a long time.
More so, try to gauge this based on your partner's cooperation. If he's not transparent after a while and still hides most of his calls with his kid's mother, you should consider if the relationship is worth it at all.
Understand that your boyfriend's kid and the mama will always be part of his life. As long as you're seeing him, they'll be part of yours too. Therefore, your partner shouldn't try to keep the two of you apart, but create a balance. If he's not ready to do that, and he still keeps his talks away from you, you should think about finding someone new
If your partner is still talking to his ex on matters that aren’t baby-related, it might hint that he still has feelings for her. He shouldn’t be overly concerned about her personal life especially when it has nothing to do with kids.
The first thing to understand is that seeing a man that has a kid is a choice. It may not be the best fit for everyone, which is why you should assess your decisions properly. Nevertheless, believing in his standards and maintaining openness is key to building trust.
Understand that your partner plays a crucial role in balancing his relationships, especially if he has kids outside. You should keep an open mind and request transparency. Nevertheless, if he doesn’t make an effort to incorporate you into his family, things will inevitably be difficult.
If your partner still calls his ex, it’s most likely a red flag. The way and manner they chat would reveal if he still has feelings for her or not. If he’s informing her about his personal life or trying to know about hers, he likely still loves her.
Exes can develop feelings again if they maintain constant communication. Talking would inevitably stir up previous emoticons and make them reminisce on the old times. They’ll miss each other more and might think about getting back together.
Did you enjoy this article? We hope you finally know what to do when your boyfriend talks to his baby mama everyday. Talking to him is the first step but try to be patient for him to incorporate these changes. Kindly leave a comment below if you liked this article and share it with others.