Is your partner acting entitled? Are you saying, “My husband feels entitled to my body!” and in need of answers? If yes, you’re in the right place.
Understand that many men unconsciously want maximum sexual satisfaction from their wives because that’s all they have. However, all healthy relationships need boundaries, whether sexually or not. Below are eleven ways wives can deal with problems relating to sex and limits in their unions.
Dealing with any issue effectively demands having sound judgment. This process is only possible when you’ve dealt with your problems thoroughly. You might have an excellent perception about a matter, but deliver it the wrong way due to your grievances.
Therefore, the first step in resolving a huge problem such as the heavy expectation of sex in your marriage is to deal with your private difficulties before anything else. It’s also necessary to hold off on any interaction with your spouse until you’ve worked on your emotions.
If you notice you’re still feeling troubled, angry, afraid, or bitter about the situation, try some external activities to soothe your emotions. You can take a walk, watch a movie, vent to your friends, or practice some mindfulness exercises to help you stay calm for the conversation with your spouse.
Writing down your feelings can also help you put things into better perspective and probably cool off before the conversation.
If you’re having a problem with your spouse’s sexual desires in your marriage, the best way to deal with the problem is to discuss it. This process will help you put things into perspective and better understand how they’re feeling. Even though you might be in a difficult position, talking to your spouse will bring closure to a lot of subjects.
However, it’s necessary to schedule a time when both of you are well-rested and are of sound cognition to discuss the pending issue. It’s also necessary to ensure that there aren’t distractions present, such as a phone, a child, or any other noise.
Understand that it should only be you and your spouse having the conversation, clearing the air about your sexual expectations, without having a third party interrupting the discussion. Try as much as possible to emphasize a quiet, distraction-free environment to discuss things.
After you’ve found the perfect time to discuss with your spouse the issue in the marriage, ensure you bring up the subject of them being entitled to sex. But, you should mind the manner you express your feelings. You might not be able to tell your spouse plainly that they’re entitled or it will create more grievances.
Instead, communicate your words from a place of compassion. Let your partner see that you’re genuinely concerned about the union’s progress and looking for a way to make things better. Talk about how you feel and how the problem has changed the dynamics of the association, rather than what your spouse did wrong.
Remember that it’s essential to communicate and not necessarily show that you’re right. Try saying something like, “I tend to feel undervalued and underappreciated when it comes to sex, and it might be affecting our connection as partners.” and avoid statements like, “You don’t value or appreciate me enough!” because this will seem like an accusation.
Men feel a deep sense of longing for their partner’s bodies, and this is especially true when they are joined in matrimony. Although their desire might develop into an extreme craving, there’s a vivid reason why you might be having this problem with your spouse.
For the most part, your partner’s ideology might instigate the issue. However, as the wife, you might still play a part in the problem and it’s necessary to find out.
If you saw the signs early on but enjoyed the sense of dominance your partner played in the union. It could also be that you prefer men who exert authority during sex but are faced with the ripple effect of more claims to your body than you bargained for.
Even though these may not be the cause of your problem, understanding the part you play will help you communicate better with your spouse. More so, you’ll speak with compassion and not with contempt.
After looking at the problem from your angle, it’s necessary to communicate your pain to your partner. This act puts him in your shoes and allows him to understand why the incident is a huge problem to you. Think about the frustration and challenges that the situation has caused and how it’s affecting your marriage. Thereafter, talk to your partner about it.
It’s also pertinent to avoid tagging the issue as ‘something you do’ but something the both of you have allowed to happen. In a better perspective, you can refer to it as a situation. This process should be done after you’ve expressed your influence on the situation because your partner will be more willing to listen to the problem both of you have than the one only he caused.
If the issue is affecting the intimacy in the relationship, or your desire for sex, telling your partner about this brings you one step closer to resolving the problem. You’ll also make an emotional connection on the matter more effectively with this act than any other way.
Couples tend to have arguments during conflict resolution because they bring up past grievances and try to settle them. However, this tactic makes the situation more complex, and even harder to settle. Therefore, it’s necessary to keep the discussion strictly on the subject of sex and your partner’s demands.
If you sense that you’re slowly sliding into other issues, it’s critical to pause and recount your steps. Apologize if you have to, and let your partner know that you intend to focus on the present challenge. This act would make it easier to talk to your spouse unlike when you unconsciously make random accusations at him.
Likewise, if you sense your partner bringing up other problems, it’s crucial to help them realize what’s occurring and stop before things get out of hand. A kind statement such as, “Hey, babe! Let’s leave that subject for now and focus on the present issue. We can always bring it up later, okay?” will undoubtedly help your spouse realize that you want to fix things and not scatter them.
Understand that it’s easier for your spouse to work on one bad behavior than believing that there’s something wrong with him in general. Therefore, try to coin your phrases to refer to your partner’s behaviors and not necessarily his personality.
Understand that a person’s temperaments contribute to their behavior but don’t necessarily dictate they’ll behave that way. Therefore, you should aim to give your spouse hope that they can change no matter what.
Make more ‘I’ statements to help your partner understand your perspective. For example, “I believe you’ve been acting more entitled to sex lately. This statement is much better than saying, “You demand sex like you’re entitled to it.”
Even though the latter states what’s happening, it doesn’t give room for development and growth. It makes you more of an accuser than a problem solver. On the contrary, separating your spouse’s actions from their personality helps them internalize how to make things better and fix the association, rather than seeming like the problem.
Embracing closeness amid conflict resolution can affect what your husband thinks about the situation and will also change the mood of your discussion positively. Several little gestures like touching your partner’s hands, using pet names, and mentioning sweet words, will make your partner feel less judged and more eager to solve the problem.
Another great example is sitting close to your partner during the discussion. According to research, tension undoubtedly increases when you sit across from your partner and tell them of their misdeeds. You might also need to avoid phrases like, “We need to talk!” which can scare your partner into putting up a defensive mode.
You can also use humor to settle a tense disagreement in your marriage, especially something as serious as your sex life. If you want your partner to give a more appropriate sexual response to your body, then telling inside jokes about the situation might make him understand things better. Humor should be used at critical times, and never to make fun of your partner.
If anyone taught you that conflict resolution involves stating your preferences and ensuring your partner follows suit, then they were wrong. Most relationships don’t work that way, especially long-term ones. You have to find a middle ground with your partner or they’d be uncomfortable in the relationship. This step is particularly essential for any marriage.
Even though there’s no excuse for your partner’s extreme desire for your body at all times, you should respect and acknowledge his personality as a key element in his decisions. Since you can’t outright change his temperaments, you have to work towards achieving a common ground with him.
Accept the differences you have with your partner in your marriage, and name the changes you want to see happen. This process eradicates any selfish ambition the both of you might have since you’re working to achieve a common goal. Let your partner know that girls have similar sex drives to boys, and as a wife, you need an equal say on matters about sex.
If you can have a successful discussion with your spouse on the issue of sex, and they’re willing to make corrections, use the avenue to strengthen the connection with your partner. Appreciate them even before they make any changes and ensure the association is as bubbly and lively as it used to be.
Don’t wait until your partner no longer behaves entitled to sex to start rebuilding the connection. Remember that you’re married to him and should love him during the good and bad times. You can decide to put up a tantrum with your boyfriend, but not someone you’re married to.
Habits aren’t easy to cure, especially if they’ve been part of a person’s life for long. Your sexual encounter with your spouse might be a big deal but you have to give your partner time to change. Putting more pressure on them would only reduce their sexual arousal and make them more cautious around you.
Therefore, you have to be patient as a wife. Use nice words, treat your partner to special pleasures, and ensure you encourage him enough to make appropriate changes. You should also consider bringing up the topic subtly if you see no improvement after a long period.
A husband naturally feels entitled to his wife because he has to remain faithful to her. In most cases, it’s not a selfish act, but a natural expression of attraction between couples.
Finding out why your partner feels sexually entitled to you can help you tackle the root of the issue. Wives should never feel scared to make inquiries about sex with their spouses.
If your partner demands sex from you more than he asks for your opinion, then the situation is heading to entitlement.
If your husband doesn’t regard your preferences as much as you do, they might feel entitled to you physically.
This scenario is a process where someone feels more important or should get special treatment as supposed to others.
Did you enjoy this article? Remember to stay calm while talking to your partner about sex. Kindly leave a comment below or share this article if you liked it.