Why Do I Get Upset When My Boyfriend Goes Out With His Friends? (7 Possible Reasons Why)

Last updated on June 12, 2024 by Michelle Devani

Do you feel pangs of anger whenever your boyfriend spends time with his friends?

Do you have no idea why you feel this way?

Maybe you would like to stop feeling this way, but have no idea how to curb these emotions?

Well, the first step to eliminating these feelings is to understand why they’re cropping up in the first place - and that’s what this guide aims to teach you.

But, before we go into too much depth, I need you to read the following sentences as carefully as you can. 

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Of course, it’s still worth understanding why you’re getting so upset about him going out with his friends in the first place.

The guide below will help you to do that. So, let’s dive in.


Why You Feel Upset When Your Boyfriend Spends Time With His Friends

Do you feel hurt when your boyfriend goes out with his friends? or are you unsure of what your boyfriend is doing when hanging out with his friends? If this and many more questions run through your mind, then you are reading the right article. 

The beginning of every romantic relationship is beautiful. As ladies, we love the lovey-dovey feeling that comes with a new relationship. Just when you are basking in this euphoria, it’s normal to encounter challenges. All relationships have friction at some point due to several reasons. 

In this article, I’ll focus on one common cause of such friction in most relationships; getting upset when your boyfriend decides to hang out with his friends. Dealing with anger and thoughts about what your boyfriend could be doing when hanging out with his friends can be overwhelming.

I believe every woman has felt this way at some point in her relationship. This feeling is perfectly normal. I have learned that the best way to stop this feeling is to find out why you feel this way first. 

Allow me to share some reasons for the knots in your stomach when your boyfriend goes out with his guys.

1. Lack of trust

In any serious relationship, trust is key. Studies show that many relationships suffer from trust issues. Beyond affecting the union, lack of trust can affect your physical and mental health. It takes a lot of time to build certainty and security with a partner. 

Depending on the stage of your relationship, mistrust might be the reason for feeling upset when your boyfriend spends time with his guys. If you are at the early stage, getting upset is almost inevitable. This happens because you two haven’t spent enough time together. 

You barely know much about him, so doubts are bound to arise. Past experiences with this same guy or exes might also be responsible for your trust issues.

2. Jealousy

Jealousy usually shows that a couple might be experiencing some problems. It is normal to feel jealous, it just means you want to spend more time with your partner. Scientists reveal that jealousy can be healthy but can also be destructive.

You could have disturbing thoughts of your partner spending time with another girl when he is with his friends. Or you could be thinking he will drink too much and cheat on you with the next available girl. Never think you are alone in this. Studies show that girls are more prone to jealousy than men because girls desire loyalty and commitment. 

However, even though most women experience jealousy, it will only keep you worried constantly.

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3. Low self-esteem

low self esteem

Everyone tends to lack faith in themselves once in a while. However, people with low self-confidence struggle with unhappiness and over-dependency on other people.

When you doubt yourself and constantly worry about what could be, it takes the fun out of life. 

At this point, you may be focusing on all the things that could go wrong. You won’t feel safe or secure anymore, even when he’s around. At this point, visiting a counselor or trying to build self-confidence on your own may be crucial.

4. Boredom and loneliness

When last did you do your own thing? And what’s keeping you busy at the moment? You may feel worried about your partner’s whereabouts simply because you aren’t occupied enough. Whenever you feel lonely, bored, or left out, think about activities or projects to work on. 

For a romantic association to work out, both parties have to learn to enjoy their own space. Besides, being together all the time can make both partners tired of each other. You may feel left out, but over-dependence on your boyfriend can make you seem controlling. Especially when you object to him hanging out with friends. 

5. Insecurity

As ladies, we tend to deal with insecurities when dating. It is normal to feel insecure and fall victim to your own fears. You think he prefers his friends to you, and you just wish he could spend all that time with you. 

Feeling insecure may stem from relationship problems you have had in the past. The only way to get over this feeling would be to stop feeling less of yourself. Go out with other girls, splurge a little, and have more fun each day. The more you learn to love yourself, the easier it gets to deal with insecurities. 

6. Not liking your boyfriend’s friends

not liking your boyfriends friends

You probably always have a good time with your partner till his friends show up. It happens to the best of us. Lots of women have owned up to disliking or feeling jealous of their partner's friends. It could be their influence on your partner, their lifestyle choices, or the way they disregard you. 

Not liking his friends is not a bad thing. There are ways to work on this so that you enjoy a lasting bond and successful relationship. You can tell your partner the truth about how you feel, but never tell him to choose between you and his friends.

7. Highly sensitive

You are not alone if you are a highly sensitive person. Dr. Elaine Aron an expert with highly sensitive people says that about 15-20 percent of the population is highly sensitive so it is normal. Highly sensitive people easily become unhappy when in love. How much time do you spend with your own friends? Or are you generally an introverted person? 

This may heighten your sensitivity, and make you worry about your partner’s whereabouts more than usual. 


Why do I get so jealous when my boyfriend hangs out with his friends?

You get so jealous because you experience fear of abandonment. You feel that when your boyfriend is with his friends, he can overindulge in drinks and spend time and money irresponsibly. There is always that fear of him meeting another girl you feel might look better than you.

How can I stop being jealous when my boyfriend goes out with friends?

When you notice that you have feelings of jealousy when your boyfriend goes out with his friends, be honest about it to your partner. Come up clean about your feelings and talk about it when you are calm.

How do I stop getting mad when my boyfriend goes out?

If you want to enjoy peace of mind, it pays to spend more time with your girls. Give your partner some space, and try to make new friends or reconnect with old ones. When you both hang out with your friends, it keeps the relationship healthy. It is also advisable to have your hobbies. When you have hobbies, you won’t be overly dependent on your boyfriend.

Why does my boyfriend not invite me out with his friends?

There are several reasons why your boyfriend may not invite you to hang out with his friends. Maybe he thinks you will not enjoy hanging out with his friends. It could also be a strict hangout for guys. It is even possible that he doesn’t even know that you want to hang out with him and his friends.

Why am I jealous of my boyfriend’s female friends?

Many ladies tend to get jealous of their boyfriend's female friends. It could be more painful if the female friend has the body of a goddess. It is majorly a result of insecurities you feel. It might be that you do not feel comfortable with the way you look. You find yourself constantly comparing yourself to his female friends. The best way out of this feeling is to love yourself and let that show in your hygiene, style, mood, and life in general.

To Conclude

 It helps to know that your boyfriend is dating you because he loves you. Learn to feel comfortable with this fact and don’t overthink things. Also, understand that your boyfriend needs his space. That does not mean that he does not love or care for you. Lastly, value communicating honestly with your boyfriend. Did you enjoy reading this? Kindly leave a comment below and share this with others, thanks. 

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Michelle Devani
My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think.

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