Why You Should Never Date A Pothead (11 Serious Reasons)

Last updated on May 14, 2024 by Michelle Devani

Stoners are some of the most chill people you will ever meet. If you come across one who has it together enough to attract you, it can take all you have not to fall for their openness and their laid-back charm.

Their potential for interesting conversations is second to none. They always have a plan for food and don’t even get me started on the sex. If you are hooking up with a stoner, it’s not abnormal to start considering a steadier arrangement, like a relationship based largely on how enhanced everything feels with them.

Before you give in to that urge, though, take it from someone who’s been on both sides of the table and just don’t date a pothead. Here’s why:


11 Reasons Why You Should Never Date A Pothead

1. They spend all their money on weed and munchies

It’s simple. Good weed costs money and you wouldn’t exactly be a pothead if you didn’t take lots of it. A typical regular marijuana user also likes to have all the necessary (and often unnecessary) paraphernalia – your ashtray, tips, crusher, bongs, vape, roller, bowls, etc. These things are also not cheap, plus there’s always a new one you want.

Then there’s the actual stuff you do with the high. Some strains literally get you high while some relax you, but they all give you the munchies. This means a revolving door of takeout, snacks, drinks, more snacks, home-cooked meals, just about anything that can go in the mouth. 

Given it takes an extra ounce of discipline for a cannabis user to even keep functioning as normal, making up for the constant expenditure can be challenging. For a non-trust fund baby that can make them financially unstable at best, putting it on you to pitch in to save them from money troubles sometimes.

2. You’ll always be playing second fiddle to their first love. – M.J

A true pothead believes more in his pot than anything else. They may not say it, but the only thing your stoner boyfriend or girlfriend considers indispensable is their green. Don’t get me wrong, they may genuinely enjoy your company, maybe even fall in love with you, but if push comes to shove and they have to rate, you won’t win.

You simply won’t be their sole priority ever. If they have to choose between splurging on a date with you and securing their next smoke, the only instance where they pick you is when there’s an alternative source. Their mood, plans, your sexual life, and generally everything a typical dating relationship involves will revolve around marijuana with a pothead.

3. You only get the complete package when they are high

you only get the complete package when they are high

Whatever they use to reel you in, whether it’s the life-changing sex or how funny they are, you can’t count on them to always give. In other words, life is only as good with a pothead as their current stash. 

They are not just less fun sober, sometimes it’s like being with a whole different person. It’s not that they cannot do the same things they do high before blazing, just that the promise of doing it in an enhanced state slaps better.

And that’s all well and good when there’s a steady supply, but on occasions when money or the plug fails, you learn just how much weight marijuana pulls in their daily life. Without it, in place of your chill boyfriend or girlfriend, you get a grumpy, restless guy or girl who doesn’t know what to do with their mood swings.

4. They will smoke all your weed then eat all your food

If you are a pot smoker yourself, dating one means neither your weed nor your food is ever safe when they are around. Stoners like to share all right, but it’s a big difference between passing the blunt during one hang and having someone constantly run you out because they want it every time they are around. The same applies to the voracity with which they come after your food.

Whether or not you are partial to Mary Jane, if you are not big on sharing, dating a pothead who loves the same things as you will take some getting used to, at best.

5. You are constantly around temptation

As I said earlier, the whole point of taking marijuana is living the high. You are happy, open, content, yet craving things. The problem is that regular marijuana use puts one at risk of becoming a slave to the base instincts it pushes to the surface, such that you begin to live for the high. 

Subsequently, chasing that feeling becomes the only thing that truly excites the stoner. Thus, a cycle of consuming marijuana, getting horngry, and finding a release somehow (often through masturbation or sex) forms. Dating a pothead means regular exposure to all these plus their hedonistic tendencies, which can rather quickly sway your stance.

If you don’t smoke, you can accidentally eat an edible and suddenly realize “weed isn’t that bad.” You may not become a 420 activist right away, but between all the food, fun, and orgasms you may have no choice but to share in, one can get carried away. 

6. The lethargy tends to rub off on you

If you spend a lot of time with someone, it’s natural to subconsciously pick up on some of their qualities. Unfortunately, it’s not just the ‘good’ effects of marijuana that people in relationships with stoners tend to share in, but the undesirable as well. A true stoner is nothing if not one with their couch, especially those who take indica-dominant strains. 

Now, their lifestyle may seem low-maintenance and hip at first, but if it doesn’t chase you away when it gets old, it’ll likely rub off on you. Enthusiasm will be in short supply in such a relationship, that’s for sure, because a chronic cannabis smoker isn’t interested in much else, let alone motivating a whole other person.

If you are lucky, you can sit on your ass together all day, rolling up, eating, having sexy times until you wake up one day to realize how much you’ve let go.

7. They will zone out on you… a lot

they will zone out on you a lot

Marijuana is known to slow cognitive functions like listening and processing information as well as attention span. In other words, your partner isn’t going to be attentive a lot of the time if they smoke weed regularly. They won’t be doing this on purpose, they might even start conversations but trail off in between.

You will have your share of comfortable silences, but a lot of them will be because your s/o is in a world of their own. Meaningful conversations will either get postponed or happen on their terms. 

You will be in the same room and still feel distant because your partner is either too stoned or too sober to talk. Their quietness will make you anxious because you don’t know if they have a problem with you or just high. 

8. You have to deal with the side effects

Faster aging, dependency, paranoia, mood swings, anxiety, depression, lung damage, unhealthy relationship with food, and weakened immune system are some effects linked with the pothead lifestyle. When your stoner date isn’t on edge, you have to deal with their emotional withdrawal. 

They can be so extremely low on energy that it extends to your sex life: taking the popular stoner sexual edge stoners off the table. Or, they can go the other way and literally wear you out.

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Excessive cannabis use is also bad for the baby you may not even get to have. Overexposure can knock down your chances of fertility by impairing sperm quality or the development of children produced thereof. 

9. It’s a slippery slope to real drug addiction

Smoking weed certainly has its share of risks, with a high chance of dependency and drug addiction being commonly linked with heavy use. With it, tolerance builds, and you have to take a lot more or try a stronger strain to reach the same level of highness. 

Between that, their general open-mindedness, and hedonistic inclinations, it’s not uncommon for cannabis smokers to crave a different, more intense high, which is where other harmful drugs usually come in. Without discipline, ‘wake and bake’ mutates into a deeper dive into substance abuse which is why marijuana, like alcohol and nicotine, is considered a gateway drug.

10. You risk being judged

We try, but the stoner lifestyle has a way of giving itself away. Most potheads are either the activist type or the ‘bum’ who is always quite literally stoned (read: couch-locked). The former lives and breathes cannabis, from their social media presence to real-life appearance, you can just tell their favorite number will be 420.

The latter may not be quite as vocal about weed, or anything, to be frank, but people around may notice it in the way they smell, act, or look. Either way, if you spend a lot of time with someone who smokes frequently, you sign up to be held to the same standards as them, whatever that is for stoners in your orbit.

11. A pothead can be emotionally immature

a pothead can be emotionally immature

Weed lets you escape (or at least postpone) dealing with stuff, if you’ve been doing it long enough, it can be the only way you know how to cope with anything. You’re angry, you want a joint. When someone frustrates you, you crave one. You are faced with a decision, basic or life-changing, and you want to wait till you’ve had a few puffs. 

Fights, work stuff, basically anything that counts as a stressful situation is a reason to roll one. Now, however blissful, it’s normal for a relationship to stress you out sometimes, what with the occasional difficult conversations and generally adjusting to another person. 

For someone who is used to retreating to their own little world, you can see how dating a stoner can pose a challenge in terms of emotional availability and moving forward.


Is it okay to date a stoner?

It’s totally okay to date a stoner as long as you are fully aware of what you are getting into. Frequent marijuana use predisposes your date to potential relationship problems like not being attentive enough or difficulties committing to plans. Their habit can rub off on you if you don’t already smoke. It also depends on whether you’re just looking to have fun or want to settle down with them.

Can a pothead be a good parent?

Smoking pot doesn’t make one a bad parent but doing it so frequently that you become addicted to it does. A marijuana addict, just like other drugs, can constantly prioritize getting high over every other thing, including their kid. Hell, by definition, they are compelled to go after their next fix even at the risk of their own well-being.

Are potheads loyal?

Weirdly enough, despite the bad rap stoners get, they are usually quite loyal in relationships, whether romantic or platonic. It’s hard to pinpoint if this is due to their difficulty finding someone who accepts them as they are, or if the pot makes them too lethargic to bother.

Why do I date stoners?

When it comes to “taboo” things like smoking pot, you may be drawn to stoners because they tend to be more open sexually and more down for wild adventures, especially at first. You could also be attracted to stoners because of the prospect of saving them (in this case, from addiction), especially if you have a history of dating ‘damaged’ people and attempting to fix them.

How do you spot a pothead?

A pothead who doesn't do much to hide it is the easiest to spot. Their eyes are usually tiny and red. They always seem faded and hungry and may smell like marijuana (smoke) went to war with their deodorant. They don't just smoke weed socially, but every other day and you can tell because they carry it around. Activistic stoners are often very vocal about the holy grail nature of the herb.

In Conclusion

Marijuana, pot, cannabis, Mary Jane, whatever you call it, is a beautiful gift of nature. However, being natural doesn't make it inherently good and can very well lead to addiction. That said, the 420 lifestyle is a choice both for those who partake and those who desire to date them. You either take it or break from it.

Have you dated a pothead before, or are you one yourself? Share your experience along with what you think or realized about them in the comments. Share the article too, if you liked it. 

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Michelle Devani
My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think.

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