How Do I Chat With An Unknown Girl In Instagram (11 Must-Have Tips)

Last updated on May 12, 2024 by Michelle Devani

Do you want to know how to successfully 'slide in the DMs' of a gorgeous Instagram model?

Do you like the idea of arranging a date with an Instagram beauty who you've never previously met? 

Are you wondering what is the best way to build a connection from nothing on this social media platform?

Well, this guide will reveal that. You'll learn the technique that actually works to start a chat with an unknown girl on Instagram.

But before we begin, I need to share with you the #1 mistake that men make when initiating a conversation with women.

That mistake is COMING ON TOO STRONG.

It's the same whether you're sliding in her DMs or approaching her at a bar.

If you make it too obvious that you want her, she'll put up the firewall straight away. That means she ignores your texts, blocks you or walks away from you. 

It's her natural response to do this when men show their cards too early.

That's a difficult situation for men, because showing NO intent isn't going to work either.

It's frustrating for women too, because sometimes they were attracted, then you mess it up.   

That's why I wanted to share this personal story with you. It explains how you can consistently hit that sweet spot of flirting with just the right amount of intent.

I promise this story will improve your texting and real-life flirting dramatically.

With that said, let's dive deeper into how to initiate a chat with a girl you don't know on Instagram.


How To Slide Into Someone's DM On Instagram

Have you come across a girl you like on Instagram? You may be thinking, “How do I chat with an unknown girl on Instagram?” It’s a valid concern if you are new to the social media website, but Instagram is really not that much different than Facebook. Rather than posting status updates through words, you use pictures and videos. Girls are really into Instagram right now.

If you are wanting to get to know an unknown girl, you have a great chance at success with the tips offered in this article. Just remember that just because you met on Instagram doesn’t mean you have to only have a conversation through Instagram. You can text a girl or ask her to meet in person; you could also ask her to join you on Facebook. 

Once you become friends on Facebook, you can get to know even more details about this girl you like. Whichever social media platform you use, make certain you play a little hard to get. The last thing you want is to appear desperate. These tips should help you win the heart of the girl on Instagram, so continue reading!

How To Chat With A Girl On Instagram (Top Tips)

1. Find Common Ground

Take a close look at her profile. What does she like? What could you bond over? As you go through her profile, take note of what she’s into to see if you have anything in common. When you talk to her, you don’t want to draw a blank. If you get nervous easily, write down the key points that she’s interested in and ask questions. Let her do the work.

2. Have A Fresh Bio And Picture

have a fresh bio and picture

Make sure your profile is casual, brief, and up to date. After you have liked or commented on a girl’s pictures, you can bet she will be checking out your profile and pictures next. Ask other people you know what they think of your profile and if they have any suggestions on what to do to improve it. They may notice something you don’t. 

3. Like Pictures She’s Posted

Be careful not to like really old images she’s posted because that comes across as a little bit like a stalker. On Instagram, most people only have recent pictures anyway, so this shouldn’t be an issue, but don’t like every picture she has on her profile. You want her to know which ones you thought were extra special.

4. Comment On Her Images

Take a big gulp! Yes, it is time to chat with the girl a little, but you can start off really slow. Just leave a few witty remarks on her pictures. You might say something like, “Were you at a rodeo in this picture? Which one? I just got back from one!” Something like that just begs for a response, too, so you may be able to strike up a conversation here.

5. Post Pictures Of You Doing Funny Things

If you want to really get the attention of girls, you should consider posting random pictures of you doing different things. You might show a picture of you cooking something special like sushi, or a video of you jump roping. The more random the pictures and videos are, the more attention you are expected to get from girls.

6. Ask Her Open-Ended Questions

The first time you talk with the girl, you want to have her respond to what you say. You may want to ask her open-ended questions that require more than a yes or no response on Instagram DM. The first time will probably give you butterflies in your stomach, but that’s normal. It’s hard striking up a conversation with a girl for the first time

Your nerves are racing, and you feel like you could throw up a little. Trust me, I’ve been there with my share of girls. They can be intimidating, but remember, no one can make you feel a way you don’t want to feel. If you are experiencing anxiety, you don’t have to chat at that exact moment. Make up an excuse, and come back when things are calmer.

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When you are confident and sure of yourself, be sure to ask her questions that require a longer answer. You might want to ask how this girl got into the hobby she loves the most and why it interests her so much. Girls are pretty easy to talk to once you get the hang of it. Just remember that girls like talking about the things they are passionate about!

7. Be A Good Listener

be a good listener

Once you get her talking, don’t forget to listen to what she has to say. Even if you are nervous, don’t judge or mock her viewpoints. Be patient and let her talk as much as she wants. Offer feedback and follow-up questions to show you have been listening. 

If something is confusing, ask for clarification, and don’t forget to summarize what she’s said. You want to prove to her you are an excellent listener, so she will want to talk to you again. Be an active listener; that means you don’t just hear what she says; you truly care about what she has to share with you. 

8. Say Something Original

When chatting with a girl on Instagram, it can be quite intimidating. After you have left a comment or two, she may be ready to chat. Try to remain cool and say something unique. Use emojis and memes to keep the mood light. If you are really struggling here, take your time responding back to her. You can always say you are busy and regroup.

9. Ask Her About The Personal Details

One way to get a girl to do most of the talking on Instagram is by asking her about her dreams, hopes, and aspirations. Find out what makes her tick. She will surely think you are a great conversationalist if you can get her to share these personal details without her having to come up with the topic to talk about on Instagram DM!

10. Don’t Rush Things

When the time is right, you can try to move things along to the phone or something like that if you think she’s ready. Give her an obvious hit that you want more than just friendship here, and give her a chance to make a move after that. This way, you are moving at her pace and not the other way around. You can see what her interest is, too.

11. Take The Next Step When You Are Ready

take the next step when you are ready

If you know that the time is right, go with your gut, and ask her to chat on the phone or text if you find that to be more appropriate. If you feel like the two of you have grown close enough, mention a movie you have wanted to see and tell her the movie times. That way, you are hinting you want more but leaving the ball in her court. 


How do you start a conversation with an unknown girl over text?

When you text a girl, be sure you are original and likable. This may mean you need to be a little vulnerable, but it’s important to let her know the real you. You wouldn’t want to be in a relationship based on lies, would you? Be honest about yourself.

How do you hit random girls on Instagram?

Be forward when you have a conversation with a girl on Instagram, so she knows you are interested. Then, back off a little to see what she thinks about you. You can use this tactic with many girls on Instagram. It’s good to know how to keep the conversation going.

How do you start a conversation with a stranger on Instagram?

I would first recommend that you like a few of her pictures on Instagram; then, you could leave a random comment on your favorite ones. If you think this was well received, you can strike up a conversation with a girl; just say, “Hi! Your pics are astounding!”

What should I text to an unknown girl?

If you want to text a girl rather than meet via Instagram, just be original and ask plenty of open-ended questions. As you text a girl, you want her to be able to respond with more than a yes or no answer. This way, you will learn more about her.

How can you make a girl laugh?

If she sends you a picture, send her back a cartoon figure doing something that says, “Wow!” That would be an original and unique way to keep the conversation going and encourage her to send you even more amazing pictures that you can comment on or like.

To Sum Things Up…

The best way to learn more about people, whether on social media or not, is to be yourself. If you want to have witty remarks to things she’s said, take your time coming up with something. You don’t have to be rushed! What do you think? Please comment, and share!

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Michelle Devani
My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think.

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