How To Go Down On A Girl (11 Vital Tips)

Last updated on May 14, 2024 by Michelle Devani

Oral sex can be awesome for both you and your lady if you do things right. Doing some research about her anatomy and things that may turn her on is a pretty good start but there's more to it. 

One of the most important things to do when you're in the process, is to be attentive. Pay attention to her responses (not just verbal) and ask for feedback. That way you know when to adjust and when to focus on a certain area. 

If you're a beginner or you're trying to develop and improve your skills, this is the right article for you. Take a look at these few useful tips to take your game to the next level


11 Helpful Tips To Go Down On A Girl

1. Be enthusiastic

There's no point doing anything if you aren't completely into it; showing your enthusiasm is part of the arousal process so it's best to be expressive. This is especially true when it comes to oral sex with a woman.

Women have faced body shaming in all forms for decades, from men, their fellow women, and even themselves. It's no surprise that most women aren't exactly open to getting eaten out. It's hard to have someone's face all up in your business when you've been told your body has a billion imperfections. 

They're already self-conscious so showing them that you're super into them will help with their self-confidence. You can start by telling her how sexy she is and how turned on you are. Then show her by touch, kissing, locking, and smelling her. She'll definitely feel more comfortable with you. 

2. Get out of your head

It's easy to get smug and make assumptions about what feels good to her, always ask and observe her body language. It's easy to assume all women like the same things regarding oral sex, but that couldn't be further from the truth. Every woman has got a unique anatomy, some women are more sensitive down there, while others may need a little more pressure. 

Perhaps your last partner liked things done a certain way, but don't conclude that your current partner would like it the same way. Try different speeds and pressure, and get creative. Perhaps, use more than just your tongue. Using different parts of your mouth like your lips could introduce different textures to her easily stimulated areas. Keep an open mind and maintain the mind of a beginner. Be willing to listen to what she has to say and do just that. 

3. Ask for feedback

ask for feedback

This goes hand in hand with the previous point, you can only truly know what she likes if she gives you feedback. If you want to avoid making assumptions, simply take a break and ask her what she likes. 

The secret is to be comfortable in your own skin and in your sexuality. Once you are confident enough to communicate freely about your needs and your partner's needs, you won't have problems getting feedback from her. 

You could start by discussing her fantasies beforehand, that way you have an idea of what turns her on and it gives you more options. Try not to make this discussion sound technical as it could kill the mood. Instead, slip it in naturally when you're cuddling or relaxing together. The best time to get information from her is when she's relaxed. Consent is very important too, don’t just throw out kinky ideas that she’s likely to refuse consenting to. Ask her and let her tell you.

4. A little teasing could go a long way

We all know by now that women aren’t built like men, sexually and otherwise. While a man can get turned on almost immediately and go straight to the deed without needing a prequel, women are quite the opposite. We can't speak for every woman but most have admitted to wanting some kind of intro or preceding action before the main act. Immediately after a woman says this, our minds often go straight to foreplay. 

Although foreplay can be considered an umbrella word, there's a lot more to it than just smooching. You could try to tease her a bit for a change. Instead of just diving down there and aiming to make her orgasm, try to lick or kiss surrounding areas like her inner thighs or try delayed gratification techniques. 

5. Her clitoris is the star of the show

A significant number of women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm. Some have even admitted to never having even one orgasm through penetrative sex; their needs vary based on their unique anatomy. While some women like direct contact with the clitoris, others find it too triggering and would prefer for you to focus on her inner and outer labia. They prefer stimulation on the sides instead. 

If you don't want to interrupt the flow of things by asking her directly, you can try to lick around the clitoris first while observing to see how she reacts. If she doesn't seem to like it very much you can move your tongue to the tip and circle it to see if that does the trick. 

When you have an idea of what areas are more pleasurable to her, paying attention to those areas will be easier. Don't forget to experiment with different strokes, rhythms, and pressures. 

6. Don't forget to use your hands

don't forget to use your hands

There are no rules stating that hands cannot be used during oral sex, if you need some extra help, then why not? It's normal to try things only with your tongue the first few times but the more practice you get, the more you realize that your hand can get an invite to the party too. 

Although most women orgasm through clitoral stimulation, many of them love the feeling of both - clitoral and penetrative stimulation. This will be easy for you if you're good with your fingers. First of all, ensure you're in a comfortable position and get to work. Try one finger inside her first, and if it's not quite doing the trick, you can try adding another finger. 

Much like sex in general, try not to stick to only one stroke pattern, switch things up at intervals to keep things interesting. Curving your fingers inside her into a hook shape is quite widely appreciated too, as it stimulates her g-spot. If she’s into it, you can introduce sex toys to the mix too.

7. Don't complicate things

A common mistake for beginners is being inconsistent and trying to overdo it. Sometimes, men put pressure on themselves to get their sexual partner to orgasm, especially when it's a new relationship.

If you're still learning the ropes or if you're doing this for the first time with your new partner, try keeping things simple. Don't attempt to do anything special just yet, just try to gauge what she likes and stick to that. Consistency goes a long way when it comes to oral sex; in fact, it does the trick. So, remember to pay attention to her and her needs and try having fun while you're at it. There's no need to do anything if you aren't both into it. 

8. Give her feedback too

This may not be for every woman but it's a good idea to give it a try. Some women appreciate it when you're verbal even while you're going down on her. As mentioned earlier, oral sex could be a bit scary for many women since they've endured body shaming for decades. So it would be nice if you gave her some assurance during the process. 

She may feel concerned about her scent or her discharge but if you whisper things that let her know she tastes and smells good to you, it would make her feel at ease. This is why you need to fully educate yourself on the female anatomy before getting down and dirty. 

Understand that her smell can change or vary depending on what time of the month it is or certain health problems. Getting yourself well informed could improve the sexual experience for you both. 

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9. It's like a make-out session

Extra speed and pressure aren't the keys to good oral sex even though porn videos try to convince you that they are. So many men neglect a few potentially pleasure-rich areas. For example, the inner and outer folds of her labia and the vaginal opening; the clitoris isn’t the only sensitive part of her nether regions. If your girl likes lots of speed and lots of pressure, her response will let you know. 

However, keep in mind that some women can fake pleasure, especially with a new partner. She does this if she senses you're having a hard time figuring things out, she's trying to help you. There's one way you could try getting the truth out of her. First, make her feel comfortable and in control, if she’s feeling nervous, then you could tell her to pull your hair when something feels good. 

So, take things slow and steady first, this usually peaks most women's sexual pleasure. Try out different tongue movements too. However, if she beckons for more pressure and speed, you can hasten things up. 

10. Build the anticipation

build the anticipation

When you're extra turned on, it's normal to feel like jumping straight to the main event. This is okay if she's equally as hasty, however, when it comes to cunnilingus, it's hardly ever the case. There has to be some kind of build-up. Try to slow down a bit, it will be worth it in the end. 

Turn up the heat a bit before you go straight to the deed, build up to the moment. Make sure there's just enough foreplay, teasing, touching, and wordplay. That way, you're building up the anticipation and pleasure. Before you get down to tongue action, try kissing and licking your way down there. Make her anticipate things before she even experiences it. 

11. Use your breath too

Most men don't even know about this gem; they often overlook a really important tool that could help enhance sexual pleasure: their breath. If you never knew, don't worry, most people don't. 

Sex experts suggest that you can show her a good time by regulating the temperature of your breath and exhaling slowly. While your mouth is wide open, release some warm air or pucker up and gently blow cold air on her sensitive regions. Practice this a few times and pay attention to her reaction. 

Once you've mastered the art of it, trace your tongue down from the fourchette - the junction where her lips meet her vulva till you get to her clitoris. Make a few circles with your tongue and then blow some warm air over the still wet path you created. Expect sparks! 


How do you make a girl go down?

There's more than one technique when it comes to cunnilingus. The trick is to try different things and watch her reaction. Don’t only focus on her vagina, explore potentially pleasurable areas on her body. Some women like things light while others appreciate more pressure. Start slowly, don't rush things. Building up to things will make a big difference, especially when you're both giving each other feedback.

How do you turn on a girl - tips?

Show her you're interested in her by asking her what works for her. Such processing will let her know she's in good hands, especially if you’re just starting a new relationship. Get familiar with foreplay, you'll need it. Also, pay attention to the way she responds to light touches and kisses, that way you will know her special areas and focus on those areas more. Her vagina isn’t the only pleasurable area.

What clothes turn a girl on?

Girls like things that make guys look comfortable and cozy, it makes them think of cuddling. White polos, good-quality hoodies, and well-pressed button-down shirts do the trick. Contrary to popular belief, girls actually like baby pink on men. Rolling up your sleeves also goes a long way. 

What do girls like in men?

Apart from good looks, women cherish good manners and good character. They appreciate a man who is fair, honorable, and has some integrity. They also like a kind man who treats them with respect. Beyond looking for a good sexual partner, she appreciates having a good partner. Someone who will love and support her. 

What clothes make men hot?

So many clothes with the right fitting and the right texture can make a man look good. A good white tee shirt with the right jeans or shorts. Lace up boots, or a soft and cozy flannel. The right sunglasses and a well-tailored suit, it's best to avoid overly bright colors with this one. 

In Conclusion

I hope you found this article helpful. Remember, try taking things slow, no matter how turned on you are. A good build-up could work wonders for both of you. Please let me know what you think about this topic in the comment section below and be sure to share the article with friends. 

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Michelle Devani
My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think.

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