Things To Say To Your Boyfriend Who Cheated On You (61 Things To Say To Your Boyfriend Who Cheated On You)

Last updated on July 13, 2024 by Michelle Devani

Have you been cheated on? Is it still hurting? 

Do you have a burning desire to give that person a piece of your mind?

Perhaps you don’t know the appropriate words to say?

If so, this guide is likely to be of use. It features a list of ideas for things to say to a boyfriend who cheated on you.

Just pick one which perfectly encapsulates your feelings and let him have it! These work great by text, over the phone or face-to-face. 

But what if you’re not sure whether he’s cheated yet? Perhaps at the moment you’re just speculating because you get the impression he might have been unfaithful to you. What to do then?

Well, this powerful + discreet online communications tracker tool might be just the thing you need.

This tool has been used by countless people to catch partners who they were suspicious of cheating on them. In fact, such a task is arguably where this tool works best. 

Once you’ve fed the algorithm of this tool with a few of this guy’s personal details, it will be able to infiltrate the communications of his personal devices, and deliver you the information you need to discover whether he’s been up to no good. 

You’ll find out who he’s been communicating with most often (one unknown number in particular?), what apps he’s been using (Tinder?, Bumble?), whether he’s registered alternate contact details (another bad sign)/ That’s just the tip of the iceberg as far as what this tool can do too. 

So use this tool if you’re not sure if he’s cheated - then use the lines below if it turns out he has!


61 Things To Say To Your Boyfriend Who Cheated On You

People say, “Once trust is lost, it is hard to get it back”. At what point should you lose trust in your cheating boyfriend? The first time he cheats, or the second time he also claims it is a mistake? It can be hard accepting that a seemingly good relationship can go up in smoke due to infidelity. 

Unfortunately, that’s the reality of many women, and maybe you too. It is easy for strangers or third parties to tell you what to say when you know your boyfriend cheated on you. However, saying the words that will seal the end of a beautiful relationship can be the most heartbreaking thing ever

As such, it’s okay to speak your truth while you’re hurting. If you need to process your hurt feelings before having the conversation with your boyfriend, that’s okay too. Do you know what is not okay? You think it’s your fault you have a cheating boyfriend, or that you’re responsible for why he cheated. 

Emotional scarring is a thing, and if you don’t address the actions of your cheating boyfriend, you’ll never feel free to move on. When you’re emotionally ready for him to listen to what you have to say, what should you say? Below are some of the things you can say, and questions you can ask to get closure.

1. “Why did you cheat on me?

This is the most common generic response anyone asks a cheating partner. However, this question will most likely fetch you only more lies. Your cheat of a boyfriend will only tell you what he thinks you want to hear. It’s normal to say this to your boyfriend, but you might want to get more creative than this.

 2. “You’ve hurt me beyond what I can’t bear.

This statement not only shows him the magnitude of his unfair actions, but it also expresses how you feel at that moment. You can decide to walk out on him or stay to say more afterward, but you’d have to let him know how you feel first.

3. “How did this happen?

The question of how is different from why. Your boyfriend can easily fabricate a fake why in the middle of the conversation to throw you off. However, you can easily learn the truth from the sequence of events he narrates. That way, you’ll know if his actions were intentional or not. This doesn’t excuse his action, but it can make you understand your next course of action. 

4. “I don’t feel safe anymore in this relationship.

This is you saying you can’t respect or trust that he won’t hurt you emotionally again. Hurting someone can have nothing to do with being physically violent. When your boyfriend cannot assure you of emotional security, that’s the end of the relationship. 

5. Somebody has been keeping secrets in this relationship. 

If there are no secrets in the relationship, you’d have noticed immediately he started seeing other women. Saying this will open up a necessary aspect of the relationship because not everyone just cheats because they want to.

6. “Is this why you’ve been acting weird around me?

If your boyfriend had been acting unlike himself, his unfaithfulness would make more sense to you. This question and his response will give you more clarity that you weren’t making things up in your head.

7. “How could you have wasted my time all this while!

It is alright to exclaim angrily that he has been wasting your time because it is true. There’s nothing more time-wasting than a cheating boyfriend you’ve been faithful to. 

8. “Is this what “I’m very busy” means?

A cheater will create different excuses to cheat and avoid being caught. “I am busy" is one of such good excuses. Even if he doesn’t confirm that he cheated on you during his ‘busy times', his facial expression will give away the truth.

9. “So you’ve been ignoring my phone calls because of another girl?”

Your boyfriend cheating on you is a sign of disrespect, even if it was an error. Ignoring your calls because he cheated is even worse. Real men own up to their mistakes, not shy away from 

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10. “All those secret phone calls, so you were busy having an affair!”

Now you can understand clearly that you weren’t crazy. He was the one going behind your back to cheat on you and your relationship. You can now accept your gut feeling was right all along.

11. “This explains why you’ve been paranoid about me touching your phone!

If he’s cheated on you and wants to continue doing so, it’s only logical that he will prevent you from touching his phone. He knew if you looked in the right place, you’ll see the evidence of his cheating escapades.

12. “Have your close friends been covering up for you?

Of course, he might not give you the right answer because he wants to protect his friends. However, if you can trace your memories to your encounters with them, you’ll have your answer.

13. “What did I miss?

This is a rhetorical question you’ll probably ask in stupefaction. You’ve been so good to this man, why should he repay you by cheating on you? It might take a while to get a satisfactory answer, but it’s a good question to ask yourself. 

14. “No wonder you hardly call me by name anymore.

If he cheated on you more than once and with multiple partners, he will avoid calling your name. You can now think back to all the times he called you only baby, especially during sex. 

15. “I now see why you can easily break your promises to me.

I now see why you can easily break your promises to me

All the things going wrong between both of you will now make sense. The petty fights, the times he said something but did another thing. You will see reason more clearly now you know he cheated on you.

16. “It is no wonder communication has become difficult with you.

When communication fails in relationships, it could be because one party is being unfaithful. This would explain why your boyfriend hasn’t been as open as he used to be.

17. “Was I wrong to love you?

Another rhetorical question to know if he ever loved you, or was just taking you on a purposeless ride. He might want to sweet talk you, don’t listen to his half-truths. 

18. “We don’t even talk about important things anymore. Now I know why.

Failing relationships involve couples with nothing significant to talk about. When chemistry and connection fizzle out, nothing will hold the couple together. Your boyfriend cheating on you will certainly not help.

19. “Is this why you barely touch me anymore?

No matter how skillful in bed a man is, he will begin to perform less with his girlfriend when he becomes a cheat. Having expended his energy with another girl, he won’t have much need for your touch or sex with you. 

20. “I’m no longer surprised that you’re hardly affectionate with me.” 

The bond of connection slackens the moment your partner cheats on you. Even if he wants to, he cannot show you optimum affection because he’s taken on shared responsibilities between two women. This comment will either make him talk or remain stubbornly silent. 

21. “I used to talk about how abnormal your flirtations with other girls are, but you always brushed off my concerns!

If he’s always being a shameless flirt, it’s no surprise that he finally cheated because of his weakness. Whether he’s remorseful or not, he might repeat the same error if he doesn’t change.

22. “Did you block me on social media?” 

This might explain why you haven’t been seeing his posts. If the person he cheated with is one of your mutual friends and their affair has become serious, both of them will likely block you. When you confront him, he might answer your long-held suspicion.

23. “Nothing about this relationship makes sense anymore.

Before now, you must have been suspecting that everything is wrong between both of you. But because you couldn’t pinpoint what was the matter, you couldn’t say what the problem was. Now you know why nothing makes sense anymore. Going your separate ways might be for the best.

24. “Of all the people you had to cheat with, why her?

This might sound like a question a bitter or insecure person would ask, but it helps you understand and have closure. On the other hand, you can just say “never mind, I don’t want to know". That way, you’ll confuse him and make the other girl sound dismissible. 

25. “You can drop the act now, you don’t care for me.

It’s obvious he’s been pretending to care for only you when there have been other women he cared for. You shouldn’t settle for sharing your man when you can have a faithful partner. So yes, he can show his real color now.

26. “Don’t bother lying to me, your body language gives you away.

Hopefully, you’re not dating a chronic liar and master manipulator. Those kinds of men are harder to expose. Tell him bluntly that you know he’s lying, so he can drop the pretense. 

27. “Why are you being defensive? Just accept you messed up.

Some men will even act like you have no right to feel betrayed when they cheat. Like seriously? You cheated but have the effrontery to lay the blame at my feet? Boy, get gone!

28. “Was it something I did, didn’t do? Something I should have said or not said?

Sometimes, we have to ask sincere questions to know how to do better in subsequent relationships. While you shouldn’t accept any blame for his cheating ways, you might have been somewhat responsible for why he felt he should cheat. Still, don’t let him off the hook easily. 

29. “Now I know why you are always eager to end date nights.

If he had been coming up with excuses for missing or cutting date nights short, now you know why. Another person is warming his bed.

30. “Those few hours you never could account for now make sense.

those few hours you never could account for now make sense

All the times you thought you had a memory lapse will start adding up. You’ll realize why you couldn’t tell where he was even though he swore he was in that particular place.

31. “What haven’t I done to make this relationship work?

Another important question that will show where both of you failed. He is still a jerk face for cheating on you, but going forward, this question can help both of you.

32. “Are you no longer satisfied with me?” 

If your boyfriend is no longer happy with the union, nothing can make him stay with you. He shouldn’t have cheated on you when he could have simply told you he wants out. His error is on him, not you.

33. “Is it that you’re not attracted to me anymore?

If he doesn’t find you attractive anymore, it could explain why he felt the need to cheat. Hopefully, he will give you a sincere answer. Mind you, you’re still as beautiful as you were when he started dating you. He’s the one with a lapse in judgment and character. 

34. “Do you not find our sex life enjoyable anymore?

Sex is not everything, but it’s a major part of a union that can be a deal-breaker. If he has a different taste in sex that you no longer satisfy, he will cheat on you. Again, he could’ve just broken things off.

35. “How do you want me to go on like nothing is wrong?

It’s stupid for anyone to expect you to go on like all is well. If you want, get mad, break some things, create a scene, or go on an unplanned vacation. You’re right to feel emotionally wrecked and he should be groveling for your forgiveness. 

36. “Your white lies won’t cut it this time around. I can see you clearly for who you are.

Having clarity can be hurtful because you’re forced to see all the things you pretended weren’t there. However, after clarity comes the peaceful feeling that you’re doing the best thing for yourself.

37. “How do you hope to make this up to me now?

If you’re still considering taking him back, you need to hear what he has to say. Can he make it up to you? Is he willing to change? How will he do it? If he can answer you convincingly, you can decide the level of his sincerity.

38. “You’ve broken my heart, and you know how much I love you.

This is a heartbreaking declaration that should bring a real man to tears for messing up. If he isn’t remorseful after this statement, he can never be faithful to you.

39. “I don’t think we can fix this.

It’s as simple as A, B, and C. You don’t need to beat around the topic if you’re sure, especially if you’ve felt out of place for a long time now. It’s time to move on to better adventures. 

40. “I’m seriously hurt, but I still love you.

He took advantage of your love for him, but you still care. It takes a deep level of connection to profess love for someone who hurt you. Be sure he’s worth the second chance you want to give him.

41. “Even though I still love you, it will take time for me to forgive you.

This is you being sincere. You might never forgive him completely, but you’re willing to try. That’s more than he deserves for his betrayal.

42. “Just leave me alone, I can’t be in the same room with you right now.

Understandably, the sight of him makes you angry. So, instead of doing something you regret, ask him to leave you alone, or walk out on him.

43. “Don’t give me empty apologies! You should have thought your actions through.

Apologies are good, but never enough to fix things. If he’s hurt you in different ways before, your anger is understandable. Even if you’ll forgive him for what he did, he shouldn’t expect that his apologies will suffice at that moment. 

 44. “I doubt I can forgive you, not to mention forget this.

Forgiving is the easiest part of an error, forgetting it is the part many people can’t do. The more you see him, the more you’re reminded of his disloyalty. 

45. “We are done.

we are done

If you can’t see a future beyond that current error, there’s no point deceiving you or him.

46. “It was your choice to do this. You have to live with the consequences too.

The consequence is that he has lost you. He had his chance with you, but he blew it. Regardless of how the cheating happened, he had a choice to go through with it or not. Except he was drugged, he knew what he was doing.

47. “Don’t blame this on the alcohol, you’re a grown man!” 

Alcohol has been blamed for a lot of things, including cheating. He is the adult who should have controlled what he took. So he can stop with the blame game.

48. “I have nothing to say to the other girl, I only have you to blame.

You can say this when he tries to blame the person he cheated with for his error. Some men would even prefer that you pick a fight with their side chick, but you’re classier than that. Don’t let him sidetrack you.

49. “So long! I wish you the best going forward.” 

Even if you don’t mean it. He hurt you badly after all. You don’t need to wish him evil, but you don’t need to mean your good wishes either. Just say what you can to get him to leave you alone.

50. “I hope hurting me was worth it. If not, you did it for nothing.

Another empty statement to send him on his way. Nobody wants to be hurt at the expense of another person’s happiness. So, you don’t have to mean this either.

51. “I hope you can stand in my shoes one day to know how much pain you’re putting me through.” 

Now, you’re speaking out of pain and that’s expected. It’s just a statement. Whether it happens or not, you’ve said your piece.

52. “Can you be honest with me and tell me what I could have done better to avoid this?

Getting honesty from a cheater is tricky, but if he genuinely loves you, he might open up to you.

53. “I don’t want to throw away years of a good relationship. You need to do this to regain my trust.

If you’re so invested in him that you can’t imagine a life without him, you can give him ultimatums to follow. However, girl, he isn’t worth being in your life if he’s not going to change. 

54. “Thank you for telling me. It shows you still have a working conscience.” 

Well, if he comes clean by himself, it’s a point in his favor. It doesn’t mean he’s home free, but it means he’s willing to make amends.

55. “Are you in love with her?

Asking this question will break your heart all over again, but you need to know.

56. “Do you want to be in a relationship with her?

Another necessary question. No point wasting your energy to restore a ship he could easily destroy again.

57. “Will I have to now compete with her to get your attention?” 

If he is going to keep seeing her, you need to know. So you don’t have to drag yourself through the mud for him.

58. “Is this the end of the road for us?

Most likely, yes, but you still need to ask if it’s possible to fix things.

59. “I know I can’t make you stop cheating, so I’ll leave you to decide if you can still be faithful to me.

Leaving the ball in his court is a counterattack that makes him think he’s in charge. However, you’re ready to kick him out the moment he fails.

60. “I’m so angry that if I were a man, I’d have beaten the cheat out of you!

I'm so angry that if I were a man I'd have beaten the cheat out of you

Yes, every woman feels like thrashing her man’s hide for disrespecting her, but you can’t. It still feels good to say so.

61. “Now I need to go through the embarrassing process of getting checked for STIs.”

Unfortunately, you’ll need to do this no matter how much he tries to assure you that he used protection all along. Hopefully, you haven’t contracted anything deadly. 


What do you say to your boyfriend that cheated on you?

You should say what is on your mind at the time. If you try to hold back on saying negative things because you still want to make the relationship work, you will be upset when he cheats again. So, it is best if you express your anger there and then, instead of just saying “it’s fine".

How do you comfort a cheating boyfriend?

Instead of just changing your relationship status online to send a signal to your cheating boyfriend, take the bold way out. If you have all the evidence you need, expose all the details you have to his lying face. It’s not your job to make him admit he was unfaithful, you already know the truth. You must get angry and get the burden of hurt off your chest.

Why do people cheat on people they love?

A real man or woman who cares about you will not intentionally cheat on you. A cheating partner who cheats with the same person multiple times doesn’t care anymore about you. 

When your boyfriend has been intimate emotionally and sexually with the other woman, you’re no longer the only woman he cares about. You’ll need to think of moving forward even as you’re still feeling hurt.

Will a cheater ever admit what he has done?

Cheating men don’t usually feel the need to confess to bad behavior because a cheater is a selfish person. When a guy cheats, he doesn’t want his woman to know his betrayal because he still wants to have the usual privileges with her. If you are a good person and your boyfriend cheats on you, guilt might make him confess to being disloyal to you. 

Should you forgive a cheater?

When another woman steals your boyfriend’s attention from you, you’re tempted to damn both of them to hell. Many women have made the mistake of lashing out at the other woman their boyfriend cheated with, but that’s the behavior of a sore loser. You’ll be doing yourself some good by forgiving your boyfriend, the cheat, even though the relationship is over. 

How do you handle a cheater?

You might pretend to be the girlfriend who is okay with a cheating boyfriend just so you can later get revenge for what he did. An act of much better revenge would be expressing that you feel hurt, forgive him, and make him lose you by moving on with your life. 

Most cheaters feel guilty for being a cheat, even if they will still do it again. Wringing out the feeling of guilt from your boyfriend is enough revenge. 

In Conclusion 

Dealing with a cheat can be painful, especially when it is someone you’ve loved for years. However, it is better to know the truth on time and move on, than to continue a relationship with a man who will always be unfaithful to you. Also, breaking off the relationship first will reduce your hurt feelings than if he ended the relationship on his terms.

Did you find this article informative? Please leave a comment below, and share the post with a girlfriend. 

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Michelle Devani
My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think.

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