How To Deal With A Cold-hearted Man (21 Vital Ways)

Last updated on August 29, 2022 by Michelle Devani

Is there a special man in your life who can be cold-hearted sometimes? 

Do you struggle to realize why he acts this way, or how to deal with him when he gets like this?

If this guy is your boyfriend or maybe a family member, it can make your life very difficult when he acts in such a manner.  

That's why I was especially keen to write a guide on how to deal with a cold-hearted man. 

A great first step is to know why this guy is acting so icey. After all, very few people are cold to others for no reason.

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Needless to say, when you're aware of what makes this man so cold-hearted, you'll know what to focus on to help him turn things around. 

Keep reading because I've compiled a list of ways to deal with a cold-hearted man, so you don't let him ruin your life.

Make sure to read these tips carefully and apply them whenever you're around him.


21 Ways to Deal With a Cold-hearted Man

Having a cold friend or partner can be difficult. You want them to open up and be vulnerable around you, but they choose to be detached. Even so, you want them to see how much you value them and the relationship, but they simply don’t want to reciprocate your affection.

If you’re in this dilemma, we understand how tough it can be, and we have some good news for you. It’s possible to soften the heart of a cold-hearted man if you incorporate the right steps. 

If you want to turn your relationship with your cold partner into an expressive one, these below-listed steps are for you. Without further ado, here’s how to deal with a cold-hearted man.

1. Find out more about him

If you want to know how to handle a cold-hearted individual, you need to observe their true nature. This process will give you insight into why they act detached and tend to shut down during interactions. If such a person is used to this lifestyle, it might be hard to change them. Knowing this will help you interact better with them.

You’ll be more relaxed and wouldn’t pay more attention to the distance. It’ll also prevent you from overthinking when the individual in question behaves irrationally. You’ll have a better understanding of their actions, which will give you inner peace.

2. Find out the possible causes

When finding out a cold-hearted individual’s true nature, it’s also essential to find out why they behave that way. Could it be their personality, or perhaps an incident that initiated it?

Some men suffer from an inferiority complex or tend to feel emasculated from time to time. This can cause them to have a wrong perspective about life. They might feel behaving irrationally might give them the upper hand. 

Knowing the cause of a man’s behavior can help you encourage him to be better without being forceful. You’ll focus more on the root of his problems, which will ultimately make him warm up to you and respect you.

3. Know his habits

One of the prudent ways to deal with a cold individual is to find out more about his lifestyle. Personal challenges may not be the sole cause of a man’s coldness, but other factors like a busy schedule. If a man is too preoccupied to reply to instant messages, he’ll undoubtedly seem unloving and distant. 

Find out more about his lifestyle and habits to give you insight into his behavior. You might also get the chance to curb his struggle by suggesting better routines for him. This method is undoubtedly a better approach than raising assumptions each time he seems to be ignoring you. 

4. Be direct

Cold-hearted people rarely know when they’re hurting other people’s feelings. Therefore, using subtle signs to try to get such a person’s attention might be futile. It’s recommended to be as straightforward as possible. If you want to spend time or communicate with a cold individual, approach them face to face. 

Avoid sending messages or using social media to interact with them. These methods are harder to grasp their attention, which means they might ignore you. It’s best to use direct methods to avoid getting hurt. Call them instead of texting, and if possible, visit them to get quick responses. 

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5. Take it slow

While trying to get a cold individual’s attention, try not to become bothersome to them. It’s essential to be as subtle as possible and take things slow. If you want to communicate with them, don’t call numerous times or you’ll get them annoyed. More so, try not to show up unexpectedly or they’ll become more difficult to work with.

Embrace their need for personal space, despite your quest to be close to them. It will help you build a healthy relationship with them. If you can retreat at crucial times instead of being empathic, they’ll be drawn to your presence. 

6. Always acknowledge his presence

always acknowledge his presence

Cold-hearted individuals often choose not to talk when it’s necessary. However, you can melt their heart by always acknowledging their presence. Even though they fail to interact with you when you desire it, take the first step instead. Tell a cold-hearted guy, ‘hi!’ anytime you see him. This process will slowly build a healthy relationship between the both of you.

He’ll want to interact with you more frequently, and would slowly desire to establish a unique bond. On the contrary, choosing to act cold whenever he ignores you will only push him further into the shell. He’ll be more reluctant to interact, which only worsens the situation.

7. Act mysterious

A cold individual might be giving you a tough time, but you can break the distance by being a little mysterious. This process will incite interest and make them more willing to interact with you. The best way to go about this is by giving them space when it’s necessary. More so, you shouldn’t reveal too much until the other party shows interest.

Acting mysterious might be a tedious task, especially when you’re trying to get someone's attention. Nonetheless, it’s important to build a healthy association between two people. Be aware that this tactic will only work on cold people when they’ve already shown a significant amount of interest. 

8. Try not to be cold-hearted too

It’s critical to find a balance when trying to change a cold-hearted lover. The best way to go about this is to be rational when making decisions. Try not to stir up too much distance when he’s being cold towards you. More so, you should also know when to give him some space. Your actions shouldn’t be too cold, or he’ll lose interest over time.

You shouldn’t decline a cold-hearted individual’s call merely because they ignored your instant messages. When he’s attempting to resolve things, you should always reciprocate when it’s necessary. This process will yield greater results in the long run. 

9. Give him attention

You can turn a cold-hearted lover into a loving type by giving him enough attention. There’s a possibility that he’s waiting for approval before showing you his emotions. He wants to see whether you care about him in the same magnitude before he tells you how he truly feels. Therefore, it’s essential to be compassionate whenever you feel it’s necessary. 

Try to melt his heart by complimenting him occasionally. Cold-hearted individuals are accustomed to receiving harsh responses from others because of their tough behaviors. Therefore, kind gestures will go a long way to making them want your presence even more.

10. Be mature

One of the prudent ways to deal with a cold individual is to act maturely at all times. It’s unnecessary to try to hurt them back because of how they acted towards you. There’s a slight chance they might not feel the pain as much as you do. Instead, try to break down their walls and get them accustomed to you. 

Cold individuals rarely value their relationships with others, which is why they act irrationally. If you give them reasons to value your presence, they’ll take a different approach when interacting with you. Being mature will convince them to prioritize the association. 

11. Surprise him

You can stir up empathy in a cold individual by making them feel special. Surprising them with thoughtful gifts can make them more compassionate towards you. They’ll be swooned by your gesture and would consider interacting with you more often. Even so, they’ll try to respect you by behaving properly around you. 

It’s crucial, however, to engage this step occasionally. Constantly surprising such a person might send the wrong message. It’ll seem forceful, which would only make them more withdrawn. It’s better to instill the feeling of compassion steadily, by surprising them only when it’s necessary. They’ll be less emotionally cold and would get accustomed to your presence.

12. Stay true to yourself

stay true to yourself

A cold-hearted person might not be a warm or loving type, but they can detect when someone is being fake. It’s crucial to be yourself to avoid stepping on the toes of such a person. Even better, you’ll be able to identify their preferences when you stay true to yourself. Imitating someone’s character to please them might prove disadvantageous in the long run.

The best way to get a cold individual to accept you is to show them your true temperaments. This process will build a healthy association. You shouldn’t pretend to get their attention, or you might jeopardize the propensity of something beautiful.

13. Try not to be possessive

You can demand certain things from a friend or partner, but you should never become possessive or controlling about it. If you’re dealing with an emotionally unavailable man, being too demanding will only push him away. He’ll think he’s unable to satisfy you and might refrain from trying at all. 

It’s crucial to use a loving approach to get a man to become more empathetic. The more you show him affection, the more he’s likely to become a compassionate person. More so, if he’s being distant, try not to complain about it. Instead, stir up a conversation to motivate him to open up.

14. Be mindful of what you say to him

It’s crucial to understand that a cold individual is still in touch with his emotions. Therefore, try to watch your words to avoid getting on bad terms with them. If you’re trying to get the attention of a cold man, compliment him more than you complain about his behavior. This will inspire him to open up more.

If you say cruel things to him, he’ll be more reluctant to interact with you. On the contrary, saying sweet things will endear him to you. He’ll want to hang around you more often and perhaps, strengthen his bond with you. Never try to hurt people’s feelings merely to get their attention. 

15. Physical appearance matters

Little factors like your appearance can motivate a cold-hearted person to talk to you. You should always try to look your best if you’re trying to get such a man’s attention. However, this doesn’t necessarily mean you should wear seductive clothes. Dressing appropriately is a necessity for all social situations. 

If you always look ungroomed, he’ll be hesitant to strike up a conversation with you. On the contrary, simple things like wearing vibrant colors can motivate him to associate with you. This is one of the ways to deal with a cold individual and get noticed faster than expected. Try your best to always dress to suit the occasion.

16. Avoid sending too many messages

Still wondering how to deal with a cold-hearted man? Why not refrain from sending multiple text messages? The more you show a cold man that you can be mature in diverse situations, the more he’ll grow deeper feelings for you. 

If a cold individual isn’t responding to your texts, try your best to avoid sending more. This process will make you seem less pushy and will make him regard you in the long run. On the contrary, being persistent even when he’s ignoring you will send a negative message. He’ll grow distant and prioritize less on your relationship with him.

17. Focus on yourself

Putting too much attention into changing a cold individual will be profitless if you don’t incorporate balance. While it’s necessary to focus on a cold man’s behavior, don’t forget to focus on yourself too. 

Remember that you have a life that you have to live as well. Never be too preoccupied with getting their attention, that you miss out on creating something beautiful for yourself. 

The positive thing about focusing on yourself is that it’ll make the cold individual miss your presence. They’ll acknowledge your value in their life, and long to have you around more often. 

18. Learn what works

learn what works

You can search multiple ways to deal with a cold individual, but it’s crucial to learn what works. You don’t have to try out every step listed to make a man less emotionally unavailable; else, you risk ruining the relationship. Instead, prioritize certain things that work with the person in question. 

Dealing with someone with a cold heart demands prudence. Therefore, always try to make decisions that will be best for the given situation.

19. Watch your actions

You need to consider several factors when dealing with a cold man. While it’s essential to mind your words, you should also watch your actions. Your conversation with him should mean the same thing as your body language. If you send off negative signals, it’ll make the man hesitant to interact with you the next time.

Understand that your actions can make a man feel cold towards you. It is, therefore, crucial, to display interest with gestures, and not only with words. These steps will further convince the man to be compassionate towards you and prioritize the relationship He shares with you 

20. Be patient

Setting unrealistic expectations about a cold individual warming up to you can make you feel cold in the long run. It’s crucial to embrace empathy and put yourself in their shoes. Being vulnerable takes time, so we recommend you remain patient even after incorporating these steps. 

A cold man might be interested in you but may have a hard time expressing it. It’s crucial to give him time to build his confidence and grow out of his cold attitude. Understand that being forceful won’t yield as many results as being patient. 

21. Leave, if things aren’t working

If a cold-hearted person is giving you a tough time and isn’t showing signs of improvement, you should consider leaving. It’s necessary to admit when a relationship isn’t working, and protect yourself from potential heartbreak. Walking away from a negative situation is critical, especially when you’re in danger of experiencing pain. 

If your partner refuses to warm up to you, speak to him about it, incorporate the above-listed steps, and more importantly, be patient. However, when there’s no change, let him know that you’re not interested in a one-sided association. 


How do you make a hard-hearted person fall in love with you?

If you want a cold-hearted individual to fall for you, you should strive to break down his walls. However, be aware that getting a man vulnerable is a tedious task. Nonetheless, you can make him endeared to you by showing interest in your body language, complimenting him, and surprising him with thoughtful gifts.

What does it mean to be a cold-hearted person?

When a person is cold-hearted, it means they are without sympathy, feeling, or compassion. They rarely invest in relationships and treat people without remorse. There are several reasons why a person can become this way, however. Having an inferiority complex or being too vulnerable can cause a man to behave this way.

How do I know if I'm cold-hearted?

The best way to determine if you're cold-hearted is by observing your relationships with others. Do you have time for the people around you? Are you compassionate towards them? Are you often worried about their well-being? If you tend to prioritize yourself more than others, you might have a detached character. While it’s necessary to be independent, being too secluded can become a bad trait.

Can I make someone fall in love with me?

It’s possible to get someone to pay more attention to you, but it’s not workable to get them to fall in love with you. The feeling of love builds from affection and attraction, which means that someone has to be interested in you before they can fall for you. If there’s no foundation of attraction, it’s impossible to attain that degree of intense endearment or to build a successful relationship.

How do you make someone feel attracted to you?

It’s essential to create a balance if you’re trying to get someone to notice you. You should act mysterious but also display interest. Doing too much or too little wouldn’t yield profitable results. More so, imitating another character merely to get someone’s attention would be disadvantageous in the long run. Remember that people are framed to authenticity. Stay true to yourself and do what works best for you. 

In Conclusion

Did you enjoy this article? Remember that to have a successful relationship with a cold-hearted person, you have to be patient. Getting vulnerable with a partner takes time and you have to give him space to grow. Nonetheless, don’t be afraid to walk away if things fail to work. Kindly leave a comment if you liked this article, or share it with others.

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Michelle Devani
My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think.

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