Why Guys Ghost Then Come Back (11 Reasons Why He Disappears)

Last updated on August 30, 2022 by Michelle Devani

Are you wondering why guys ghost you only to reappear later?

Perhaps you’re wondering whether these guys are worth your time. 

Maybe there’s a genuine forgivable reason why men would do this - and you should give them a second chance. Or perhaps he’s just a nasty player who’s not worth your attention.

It could be either, but this guide is here to help you work it out. 

To do this, you may need a little help though. That’s why I want to recommend this clever online tracker tool.

This tool can intercept this guy’s communications and reveal who he is messaging while ghosting you. On top of that, you’ll see what apps and websites he’s using, whether he’s registered new contact details...and a lot more.

Discretion is guaranteed, so he won’t find out he’s being tracked, and you’ll get all the information needed to make a decision on whether this guy is a scumbag or not.

With that said, let’s take a closer look at the main reasons why a man might behave like this...

Understanding Why Guys Ghost Then Come Back

Men are confusing by nature. One minute they love you, and the next minute they can’t be bothered enough to text back. It leads to us spending plenty of hours on the phone with friends trying to decipher their behavior. However, you should note that guys have a reason for their behavior. 

Guys going silent and then suddenly coming back can happen for quite a few reasons. Once you learn why they’re acting this way, it’ll suddenly start to make a lot of sense. Make sure to pay attention to his other behaviors to determine which reason fits your situation. 

1. The ghost genuinely feels bad

Sometimes, when guys ghost, it eats away at their consciousness. This is especially true if he knows that you’re an amazing person. 

Men that feel guilty will tell you things like “you didn’t deserve that.” They might say that they feel bad. Then, they will tell you an explanation for their actions. Keep in mind that if he feels bad, it means that he likes you. 

2. You gave him a warm fuzzy feeling

This is a great thing. You want the guy that you like to get butterflies in his stomach. However, it can scare him. That’s right. He gets feelings and then scares himself because he has feelings. 

Guys that ghost because of this just need some time to come to terms with their feelings. After he takes a few days, he’ll calm down and text you back. Just give him his space. 

3. He’s genuinely interested

When a guy is interested in more than a night with you, he might cool things off for a little bit. This gives him time to think things over to make sure that he wants a relationship with you moving forward. If this is the reason why, he’ll give you a reason why, such as being busy. After he’s explained leaving for a few days, keep your cool. He thought things over and has decided he still likes you. 

4. They suddenly want a girlfriend

He ghosted you because he lost interest. Then, he suddenly reappeared because he wanted a girlfriend. Maybe it’s cuddle season, also called cuffing season. Perhaps something traumatizing just happened and he wants you to fill a void. 

Regardless of his reason, you need to put serious thought into giving this guy a second chance. For him to come back, there has to be a reason. The problem is that he already ghosted you with no explanation. That says a lot about how he views you, and you probably don’t need the person who ghosted you in your life. 

5. They think the world revolves around them

they think the world revolves around them

Before completely disappearing, you’ll notice quite a few behaviors from this ghost. His ego will take precedence in every situation. He likes compliments and comes off as a bit narcissistic. More than anything, you can help but notice his selfish vibes. It’s because he really believes that he’s the center of the world. Another key indicator is that he puts forth barely any effort. 

This ghost doesn’t really want a second chance. That’s not why they come back. Instead, it’s to see if they can. When you take the time to respond, it feeds their ego. You don’t need this person in your life either. They aren’t a decent person. 

6. He’s dating someone else (and doesn’t want to tell you)

Online dating makes it rather easy to find ten people you’re compatible with in under an hour. This has led to most people being totally cool with each person dating several people at once. Until you’ve had the talk that you’re dating exclusively, it’s safe to assume that you’re both talking to other people. 

If he’s dating someone else and feels that he’s more compatible with them, he’s too scared to tell you. He doesn’t want to be the reason that you’re wondering why he’s dating someone else. He doesn’t like feeling guilty for breaking someone else’s heart. While those things might still happen, he doesn’t have to deal with them if he ghosts you. 

7. He’s super busy

I relate to this one, and I’ve dated men that relate to this one. I have children, a career, and an amazing life right now. I don’t feel the need to check in with people daily. I tend to require less communication than some other people, which leads to them thinking I’ve ghosted them. 

When a man is a very busy person, he’ll usually tell you. If you want a relationship with this man, it’s important to have a discussion about communication. Let him know that you’d appreciate at least a text a day, etc. It’s important that both of you are on the same page, especially if you’d like a relationship. 

8. Pure boredom

Sometimes, a guy will ghost you because he’s bored. He ghosts you because he’s not excited about you anymore. Some men tend to get bored quicker than others. These are the guys that will ghost you, move on to another girl, ghost her, etc. The same cycle continues to repeat itself. This guy is just a player that doesn’t see anything wrong with ghosting. 

Do you feel like he kind of takes you for granted?
Unfortunately this is one of the most frequent complaints we get from our readers, where they feel they aren't a priority for their boyfriend or husband. They always seem to have some excuse as to why they can't spend some quality time with you like they used to.

Due to popular demand, our friend prepared a quick video (click to watch) that'll show you to one easy but often overlooked thing that you can say to him today that'll help him realize how lucky he is to have you (hint: it's something that taps into how men are wired).

After he ghosts you, he will come back for the same reason. He’s ran out of other girls or he is bored with the current one. Because he doesn’t see anything wrong with being a ghost, he ghosts the other girl and gives you a call. Typically, he’ll call you first to make sure that he can come back before he ghosts her. Ignore him. You don’t deserve someone that ghosts people. 

9. Something happened

Some men have a very valid reason for ghosting. They aren’t scared and didn’t mean to ghost you. Perhaps they lost their phone. My mom was talking to a man once that was in a car accident. He was in a coma in the hospital for weeks. Unfortunately, she assumed that he was ghosting her. When he saw the messages she left on his phone, he decided he didn’t want to come back. That’s why it’s important to consider things like this before you act on your emotions. 

10. He’s using you

hes using you

If a man is using you, he’ll send you a message when he needs something. Sometimes, these guys are pretty clever. He won’t instantly send you a text asking you for something. Instead, he’ll say “I miss you.” He might say something about a future together. Then, once you take the bait, he’ll ask for what he wants. This could be anything from sex to money. 

Him not texting for weeks is a sign that this is what’s going on. When the two of you do talk, it will always benefit him. To test this out, tell him no and see how long he sticks around. Guys that are using you won’t take long to move on once they find out they aren’t going to get what they want. 

11. They really miss you

It’s a classic case of he didn’t know what he had until it was gone. Perhaps he was unhappy and then realized how great you were once you weren’t there anymore. It’s important that you have a conversation with this guy before you decide to let him back into your life. 

He needs to know that it’s not acceptable to act that way. If you let him come back, the two of you should discuss why he left and how you can solve those problems in the future to make sure that you have a happy, successful relationship. However, you should keep in mind that he has to care in order to genuinely miss you. 

FAQs

Why do guys ghost and come back?

They come back because they are missing you, are using you, or needed some me time. If you let him come back into your life, make sure you understand why he ghosted you. He might come back simply because he feels guilty. Even an admission of guilt means he just felt guilty about leaving. 

What do you do when a guy ghost you and then comes back?

You need to think carefully about whether you want him in your life. Guys ghost girls for a reason. They also come back for a reason. Make sure that you know both of those before deciding whether he deserves a spot in your life. 

Do guys who ghost come back?

Sometimes. It depends on why he ghosted. If he needed some time to think about his feelings, he’ll be back. Guys that genuinely care will come back because they will start to miss you. However, men that are using you or are bored will also come back. Beware of players. 

Do guys ever regret ghosting?

Yes, they do. If he thinks that you deserve better, he’ll feel guilty. However, that doesn’t mean that you’re going to hear from him. These guys might also not want the conflict that comes with coming back in your life. They might be scared to have that conversation

Is he ghosting me or just need space?

Men that just need space will text back, even if it’s brief. They might wait a day or two. He could also simply tell you that he needs some space sometimes. If he’s ghosting, you’ll notice him leaving you on read, not responding, and he’s already talking to other girls. 

In Conclusion

Men ghost women and come back for a variety of reasons. Has this ever happened to you? What was the reason behind it?

Does it feel like pulling teeth getting him to say how he feels about you?
Some men can be very gaurded and closed when it comes to expressing how they feel - it can almost feel like they are pulling away from you. Many women make the mistake of pushing their man to say how they feel, but this is actually one of the worst things you can do as it can push him away further.

To get him to really show you how he feels and communicate how much he appreciates you, there's one simple thing, although often overlooked, thing you can say to him today that taps into how men are wired and can often lead to them suddenly pouring their heart out. My friend recorded a quick free video (click to watch) that shows exactly how to do that.

Michelle Devani
My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think.

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