35 Signs That Your Best Friend Is A Frenemy (#1 Toxic Friend)

Last updated on January 29, 2024 by Michelle Devani

The one person you can absolutely trust is your best friend. Your best friend is basically your other half, your best friend knows everything about you and you know everything about your best friend. Because of this, you are so close to each other. But what if it turns out that you do not know every single thing about your best friend? What if your best friend is secretly hating you so much that your best friend is now called your frenemy?

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A frenemy stands for friends – enemy. That word describes someone who pretend to be your close friend when secretely, they hate you to the core. Frenemy can be caused by jealousy, competitiveness and more. And the signs that your best friend is a frenemy. So look at this signs so you can evaluate your best friend right away. Here are proven signs that your best friend is a frenemy:


1. Your Best Friend Will Not Let You Forget Your Mistake

A friendship should be based on forgiveness and understanding. Little mistakes should not bother your friendship and your best friend will not make you feel bad for making one. But your frenemy don’t see you as a best friend or someone they care for, they see you as their ultimate enemy.

So, whenever you make a little mistake, they will make you feel bad for it. They will let you fall into a negative head space which makes you feel really guilty and sad. Your fake best friend will also bring it up in the future. One of the signs that your best friend is a frenemy is that your best friend could not forgive and forget your mistake.

2. She Disagrees With Everything You Do

Best friends usually share the same mind since they know each other so well. But with a frenemy that will never happen. Signs that your best friend is a frenemy is that your best friend disagrees with everything you do. Whether it is a simple opinion, a thought, a constructive criticism, literally everything that comes out of your mouth your best friend will not be satisfied with. Especially when what you have to say is true, your best friend will disagree even more. This is because your best friend already have a bad image of you in their mind so that everything you say is wrong.

3. Your Best Friend Talk About You Behind Your Back

your best friend talk about you behind your back

A person who really cares for you will not have the heart to talk bad about you. And if they do, they will do it in front of your face so you really know how he/ she feels. A frenemy, however, will talk bad about you behind your back anytime they can. This is because they have no compassion for you whatsoever. And since you tell your best friend every little thing, it will be easier for your fake best friend to tell the world about your secret. Your fake best friend knows that this will really hurt you but he/ she will do it anyway because they do not care for you.

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4. Everything Is A Competition

A competition is good some times, it pushes us to be a better version of ourselves. But in a friend ship a little competition can light a fire that burns the whole friendship. A frenemy don’t like you at all and they feel like they need to be better than you, so what they will do is to turn every little thing into a competition.

It can be grades, new haircut, new shoes and many more. Every time you do something you will see that your fake best friend will make an effort to out run you. So if you feel that your best friend is behaving this way it might be the time to reevaluate your friendship. So, watch out the signs that your best friend is a frenemy!

5. Your Best Friend Loves Hearing About Your Bad Day

Bad conditions feels much lighter when they are shared with someone you love. Whether it’s a recent break up or if your new clothes are ripped apart, everything will be better when you have someone to get through it which is your best friend. Your frenemy hates you so much that it makes them happy to hear that you have a horrible day. The thought of you being sad and miserable makes them joyful. They will not do what a normal best friend do which is letting you cry and soothing you.

However, they will try making you tell them more about the details of the horrible day and they will not make you feel more calm. So if you have a bad day and you feel worse after seeing your best friend, this is signs that your best friend is a frenemy.

6. Your Best Friend Hates When You Have A Good Day

your best friend hates when you have a good day

You might just make a successful batch of cupcakes or you got a big promotion at work.Of course you want to share this good news with someone you care for. Your true best friend will rejoice with you. But in the other side, your frenemy will act strange when they hear your good news.

What your fake best friend will possibly do is your best friend will be silent, roll their eyes or turn the conversation into some other topic. This happens because your fake best friend absolutely resent you and hearing that you are happy makes them angry. If your so called best friend do this kind of behavior quite often, you might want to break off the friendship.

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7. Your Best Friend Is Different When There Are Other People Around

You can easily tell that someone is in a close relationship with someone else even in a crowd. But it will not be to apparent when your best friend is actually your frenemy. In a social situation, your best friend will absolutely tear you apart. They will make passive agressive remarks about you, cut your conversations and makes you feel like you are a shame. In a social situation, your best friend will not lift you up and make you laugh. Instead, your fake best friend will make you know that he/ she is superior and that you should shut up. Not a good feeling isn’t it?

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More Signs That Your Best Friend Is A Fake

more signs that your best friend is a fake

Here are more signs that your best friend is a frenemy:

  1. They do not like you hanging out with other people
  2. They do not return your text
  3. They never answer when you call them
  4. They show off in front of your face constantly
  5. They never ask about your day
  6. They do not do anything when you are crying
  7. They never invite you to hang out with them
  8. They are passive aggresive towards you
  9. They critiques every part of your life
  10. They never try to make you laugh
  11. They say that they are better than you
  12. They never help you when you ask for a favor
  13. They do not give you your contact
  14. They have a different group of friends
  15. They do not let you in their group of friend
  16. Their group of friend hates you
  17. They get angry at you a lot
  18. They do not like being seen with you in public
  19. They never compliment you
  20. They do not remember details about you
  21. They always seems to ‘forget’ big dates in your life
  22. They try to change you in every aspect of your life
  23. They make you shameful of what you believe in
  24. They flirt with your boyfriend
  25. They try to steal your friend from you

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What To Do When Your Best Friend Is Your Secret Enemy?

Being best friends with someone who hates you in the end of the day will be absolutely tiring and it will weigh you down emotionally. You’ve known the signs, here are some steps on what to do when you catch the signs that your best friend is a frenemy:

1. Forgive

The one thing they can’t do is forgiving you and it makes your best friend a bitter, hateful and spiteful person. Take the time to realize that the image of your best friend is not who you want to be in the future. The root of the problem is hatred and to fix it you need to really forgive her with all your heart even if it is not ideal.

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2. Cut Off Communication

cut off communication

Constant communication with a frenemy will tear you down bits by bits because of their constant negative vibe towards you. To cut off this cycle you need to cut off the communication with her. It will be hard and unnatural at first but the whole reason for this action is to establish some distance from negativity so you can think clearly. It will also make you realize that you will be better off without her. Of course, she will start getting angry at you but do not respond to it because if you do it will start unnecessary arguments. Instead, just become the bigger person and be quiet.

3. Stand Up For Yourself

Being quiet can make you stressful, especially when your best friend is doing a lot of wrongful action towards you. So sometimes, you need to stand up for yourself. Tell your fake best friend your worth and believe that you are worthy of a healthier relationship. Tell them how hurtful their action is and it might make them become quiet.

Also Read: Why You Should Love Me Now and Forever

A frenemy is toxic and you need to get rid of it. You’ve known the steps and the signs that your best friend is a frenemy. All there is left is to actually do something about it!

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Michelle Devani
My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think.
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